(Closed) If it is taking you / took you a while to conceive, can you tell me this?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
  • poll: TTC has taken it's time and
    I have diagnosed heath problems (PCOS, Endo, fib etc) : (11 votes)
    13 %
    I have suspected health problems : (4 votes)
    5 %
    My partner has health problems : (3 votes)
    4 %
    We are both fit and healthy- don't know why it's taken us longer than we felt it should : (16 votes)
    19 %
    I am underweight : (3 votes)
    4 %
    I am a healthy weight : (9 votes)
    11 %
    I am overweight : (13 votes)
    15 %
    I know when I ovulate : (18 votes)
    21 %
    I think I know when I ovulate : (7 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    979 posts
    Busy bee

    It took me 2 years.  I tried to hard, worried about it too much and wanted it bad.  I finally made myself relax and forget about it because the holidays were coming. Sure enough, 1 day after xmas, I got a positive test.  My advice or people TTC, relax. It will happen.  Don’t stress out and try so hard. It’s the timing also.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    2195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I voted: I have diagnosed heath problems  (PCOS, Endo, fib etc), I am underweight and I know when I ovulate.

    I just recently went for some tests and have unconfirmed PCOS, but all my labs and ultrasounds pretty much point to that diagnosis. I’ve been off the pill since March and have had really irregular cycles. Today is day 70-something and I haven’t ovulated yet. We have been NTNP since about July and actively trying since August. So, it hasn’t been too long yet but long enough that it was worth some testing. I am 5’7″ and about 108-110 pounds, considered underweight even though I eat like a champ lol. I indicated I know when I ovulate as I chart my temps daily and it’s easy to see when it happens that way.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    1069 posts
    Bumble bee

    We tried for 13 cycles… no temping, but I did use ovulation kits and I’m pretty good at figuring out when I ovulate. I haven’t had any tests done yet because I just went back on birth control so we’re not TTC right now, however I know that my boyfriend has male factor infertility.

    Post # 6
    Member
    501 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @jmaze:  so, the ‘just relax’ thing is not as maddening coming from someone who took 2 years. . .but it still just puzzles me.

    what do you mean you ‘tried too hard’?

    i really don’t get it. i don’t mean that in a snarky way at all. i just really want to know what you mean.

    i guess for me, i didn’t really get worried at all until 6 months and I wasn’t obsessive about it in the least. then we went and had his guys tested and everything was ok.  So we relaxed again and then around 9-10 months i did start to get stressed and came on this board and etc. BUT, i really don’t think stress was causing the prob for the first 6-9 months because I definitely was not stressed about it!  so i get a little puzzled when people say that. we even had 2 relaxing vacations during the first 6-9 months when we weren’t stressed.

    i don’t know. the whole concept just doesn’t sit right with me, at least for me personally.

     but it soundsl ike it might hve been the ticket for you.  many congrats on your pregnancy! 🙂

    @Soon2BeeMrsG:  I’m not sure where your question comes from (are you hoping for some reassurance that if you’re otherwise healthy and don’t drink and smoke, you won’t have infertility? because no one can give you that reassurance. it doesn’t exist.)

     I think i am probably  your worst fear. my partner and I are both healthy, normal weight, and I have regular cycles. I was charting before we started TTC so I got to know my cycles/ o-time really well (i don’t chart anymore, but I am positive that I am predicting my O within a 1-2 day window and this has been confirmed with several blood tests.) i even had a laparoscopy and I have no endo, no blocked tubes, nothing. no reason why we shouldn’t have conceived yet but it has taken over a year- 15 cycles and counting.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    979 posts
    Busy bee

    Guess you wouldn’t understand until you went through it, right. Right. I had my ups and downs. We all went through it. I was just posting what I went through and what I did and gave my advice. I wasn’t saying that, THAT would work for everyone.  Everyone gave me that same advice, even the OB, they all said I was trying to hard to get pregnant because i wanted it too bad. I was also “snarky” with them when I was TTC.  And yes, they were all right, I did relax, and I did end up getting pregnant.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    501 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @jmaze:  WHOA.

    ok, you seem very defensive . i didn’t mean to offend you!

    i was truly asking, what did ‘relaxing’ mean in your case. my ob has never once told me that i needed to relax or that i was trying too hard. i guess i’m just saying that I don’t really relate to your story and was trying to sort it out in my mind.

    i shared my story to say that i had 6-9 months where I felt I was VERY relaxed about it and I was wondering if you had the same but in retrospect if you realized that you weren’t ‘really’ relaxed or something.

    anyway,  i was just trying to get more of your perspective.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1175 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I chose:

    • We are both fit and healthy
    • I am a healthy weight
    • I know when I ovulate
    • I drink (but quite moderately, maybe 1 or 2 max drinks per week and some weeks not at all)
    • I’m a stressful person.  I’m not normally a stressful person and I don’t have much job or home stress but TTC for over a year and a half (19th cycle now, I think) will do that to you.  It’s hard keeping on if you don’t know when or if you will ever conceive.

    Darling Husband and I are fairly young (me – 26 now, Darling Husband – 30) so we haven’t been too aggressive in pursuing medical help yet.  I’ve had an inital fertility workup and it came back stellar.  Darling Husband will be going for a SA sometime in the New Year and I will have some more tests done as well. 

    We’ve tried charting and know that I ovulate, plus my cycles are like clockwork so we’ve had great timing pretty much every time.  I’ve been doing acupuncture and massage, but not as often as I like since it gets to be expensive.  We are on our 2nd month of the FertilAid supplements.

    Darling Husband takes:  FertilAid for men, Vitamin C, and a gummy multivitamin.  I’m taking:  FertilAid for women, FertileCM, prenatal vitamin, B Complex, calcium (osteoparosis runs on both sides of the family), and drinking FertiliTea.

    Post # 10
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I am a lurker on these boards but am a regular poster on HelloBee.

    We have absolutely no known issues. Bloodwork – normal. HSG – tubes clear. I am at a relatively healthy weight – my vice is a cup of coffee per day and I occassionally have a couple glasses of wine on the weekends. I have regular clockwork cycles and I ovulate around the same time each month (I use OPKs). Darling Husband is healthy and his numbers are normal. Both sides of the family have no known fertility issues. We will both turn 33 in the next couple of months.

    We are in our 15 months TTC. I am on clomid this cycle and will be moving to IUI in a few days if all goes well. Why is it taking so long? I really really wish I had the answer. As each month goes by so do our chances and I’m beginning to think that it will never happen to us. I am not one to stress out easily but this TTC business is really testing me, especially with all tests coming back fine. I have been doing acupuncture the past month and a half as well.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1175 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @jmaze:  Congrats on your BFP after two years of trying! 

    Relaxing may help a person emotionally deal with TTC for an extended period of time, but it won’t help a person get pregnant who needs medical help (not ovulating, for example).  It’s much easier said than done to relax about something so important and so near and dear to a woman’s heart.  The thing is that none of us were stressed when we started TTC, but it’s hard to keep going month after long month when other women are getting pregnant and popping out babies all around us. 

    A good example of relaxing not being the key is my girlfriend who went through unexplained IF, tried a couple IUIs, and adopted a little boy over a year ago.  In six years of trying, they’ve never gotten pregnant and even though she is uber relaxed now that they have their little boy, they still haven’t gotten pg.

    Here’s a great past thread that talks about TTC and relaxing: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/it-will-happen-as-soon-as-you-relax-do-you-believe-this  There’s a lot of different opinions and perspectives on it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4284 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @MrsFarmer:  I agree with you. It helps to relax just to get you through every day life but I don’t think it increases your chances of getting pregnant. I have anxiety and I am off all of my medication in order to TTC, if I hear one more time that I need to relax I am going to FLIP OUT! lol

    Post # 13
    Member
    4150 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @hellorebecca:  I was wondering the same thing, too, and not at all in a “snarky” way.  I was just hoping for the perspective of someone who TTC for 2 years and gives the  “just relax” advice because you usually hear that advice from people that TTC’ed for a short period of time, and often this advice infuriates long-time TTC’ers.  FWIW, I read your comment in a non-snarky, genuinely curious tone. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    501 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @hardtoconcentrate:  thanks. . .it is hard to communicate tone over the internet! 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    907 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    It took us 11 months to conceive.  Neither of us have any known issues and I had pretty regular cycles, although I did have a wonky month in July.  I did learn over the course of TTC, that I don’t always ovulate on the exact same cycle day so I know we got our timing wrong a few times.  To me, the whole thing is a mystery as to when someone actually gets pregnant.  Some people can have lots of things wrong physically and get pregnant after a month and some people are in perfect health with perfect timing and it takes them 3 years.  I think a lot of us are really used to creating goals for ourselves and being able to accomplish those things and TTC is partially out of our control which makes it even harder. 

    @hellorebecca:  I didn’t think you sounded snarky either.  I will say I had a mental shift before I got my BFP and I sometimes wonder if that did have something to do with it, although I also know that could be a coincidence.  I know lots of women have gone through those positive, more distant times as well (In fact, I know you have!) and they are still trying so I’m not one to advise people to do that as a way to get pregnant.  Like Mrs.Farmer said, it does help to deal with things better but isn’t necessarily a guarantee that it’ll lead to a BFP. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    4038 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    It took us 13 months to get a sticky baby (with a CP around 5 months and MC at 10 months).

    We hadn’t yet been tested for anything when I got my last BFP. I tested Dec 1st of last year…we’d given ourselves until the new year to try before setting up an appt. As far as we know there were no problems–nothing obvious anyway. I charted for 10 cycles and used OPKs so I know our timing was right, and I had regular, consistent ovulations. 

    We were both moderate drinkers at the time (a glass of wine in the evenings), and didn’t smoke (except after the MC, I did occasionally socially smoke then). We were both healthy and active. 

    The only thing we did differently the last time was have less sex (one time, 2 days before O) for reasons of stress and illness on his part. I don’t know what made it work then–I think our son was just ready to be born, lol.

    The topic ‘If it is taking you / took you a while to conceive, can you tell me this?’ is closed to new replies.

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