"If it wasnt for the wedding"

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2358 posts
Buzzing bee

sweetteawifey :  If it wasn’t for the wedding I’d have more money in my bank account.

That’s about it. The wedding didn’t make us not do anything. 

Post # 3
Member
2332 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

If it wasn’t for the wedding we wouldn’t be married. That’s about it. We still travelled and bought a house around the time of our engagement. He changed jobs just before we married. 

Maybe have less of a fussy wedding if that’s not whay you want?

Also I’m being pedantic but it makes it confusing when you call him your Darling Husband when you’re not married yet. 

Post # 4
Member
3450 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

If it wasn’t for the wedding we wouldn’t be getting married in a couple months. Thats about it. Its not big, expensive or fussy and doesn’t hinder us from doing anything else we want or normally would do. The repeated Darling Husband reference is a little odd here. 🤔

Post # 5
Member
3536 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

sweetteawifey :  If it wasn’t for the wedding, we would have taken more trips in the past year. If it wasn’t for the wedding, I might have made (a bit) more progress on my dissertation. If it wasn’t for the wedding, we’d have seen Hamilton already. So all small beans, really. 

Interestingly, it was my sister’s wedding that had larger life impacts – if it wasn’t for her wedding, Darling Husband and I might have gotten engaged sooner, and might have gotten married a year earlier, which means my dog would have been able to be in our wedding ): But all that is speculation – I don’t know what we ultimately would have decided for our wedding date even if engagement had happened sooner (which is certain). So, who knows. But we got married when we did and I’m not upset or regretful about it. 

Post # 6
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We got married before I finished my postgrad training program. The plans for our married life were going to play out regardless of our wedding. That said, we had a small, affordable wedding, so we didn’t have to worry about it financially.

Now we are planning to TTC later in the year. I find myself frequently altering our future plans in anticipation of being pregnant and having a baby in our lives. 

Post # 7
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2027

Saying “if it wasnt for the wedding” and then choosing to put the wedding off is why I have been engaged for over 9 years and am not married yet. 

With the exceptions of putting it off twice to help take care of our ailing grandmothers who eventually passed in 2011 and 2015, I regret using that excuse over and over instead of just downsizing and getting married. 

Post # 8
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

If it wasn’t for the wedding, we’d be taking a larger family vacation this year.

Otherwise, no. We’re still doing everything else we planned. Just bought a new house, TTC, getting a puppy. 

Post # 9
Member
390 posts
Helper bee

If it wasn’t for the wedding we wouldn’t be married.

We had a short engagement – he proposed end of September, we traveled in October, started planning in November and got married in February.

I know in the US it’s common to plan a wedding a year+ in advance so I can see how the wedding would interfere with other life events. But having a short engagement meant that we focused on the wedding for those 4 months and it was over. Darling Husband even went to a week long ski trip a month before the wedding so life wasn’t postponed for the wedding.

 

Post # 11
Member
2983 posts
Sugar bee

sweetteawifey :  I guess I would scale it down so it didn’t impact so many other life decisions.

If it wasn’t for the wedding, we wouldn’t be married. And I wouldn’t have a kick ass husband, I’d have a kick ass boyfriend/fiancé. 

But, that being said, planning the wedding felt way more complicated than it actually was because I did a lot of it from a distance in the beginning. Keep pushing through, soon all the decisions will be made!

Post # 12
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I got engaged last month, have a two week house guest who takes a lot of my time, then have a two week paperwork trip next month, a seven week work trip in Oct/Nov and am getting married in Dec. Fiance has a potential two week work trip starting tomorrow and yesterday I just agree to another two week work trip late July/early Aug. It definitely makes wedding planning harder, but the trips are either good work opportunities it would be a shame to miss out on, or else necessary to be able to get married. So the only thing I think “if it weren’t for the wedding…” is “I’d have more time to myself when I’m actually home”.

Post # 13
Member
2045 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I get what you mean. For me it was Leave and our honeymoon. There was no question about us wanting our honeymoon but we took it at the end of our leave year, so during the year leading up to it I’d think “I’d love a week off work but I can’t because of the honeymoon”. It’s just sacrificing something now for something that feels like a long time away.

I actually have a similar feeling now. I would love to just take Friday off and laze around all day but we are hoping to book a holiday and I’m hoping to change my job and with Christmas leave – there just isn’t enough annual leave. So on Friday I have to wear work clothes, go into work and read about crap (literally I’m reading about crap at the minute). But it’ll be worth it when we’re on holiday/have some time together over Christmas and I get a new job.

Post # 14
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Live your life! Don’t let the wedding hold you back

You will always get more money. You can never get more time to do the things you want to do!

Post # 15
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Nothing too crazy, but if it wasn’t for the wedding I would be using more of my vacation time this summer instead of saving it up for my honeymoon but that’s something I’m totally okay with. 

Your wedding is just one day of your life, don’t let this one day stop you from doing other things that can effect your future long-term. 

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