Post # 1
Hi bees 🙂 I am just curious, how much sway did the wedding have in your overall big picture type plans? Darling Husband and I are planning our wedding for next summer, and I am constantly finding myself thinking, “If it wasnt for the wedding” type stuff. For example, Darling Husband is considering a change within his job, but we are concerned that it would have him cutting it really close to getting home from overseas in time for the wedding. His job is also going to be moving us out of state just a couple months before the wedding which is making everything so much more complicated. And we were discussing both taking some time off work and travelling, but beause of the wedding we would have to wait until two or three years down the road for it. And I want to be clear, I’m really not saying I don’t want this wedding, I’m just saying that it is sometimes so cumbersome to think that we are making big life decisions around this big fussy wedding.
Did anyone else find themselves just a little bit frustrated? I would love to hear that I’m not alone in this!
Post # 2
sweetteawifey : If it wasn’t for the wedding I’d have more money in my bank account.
That’s about it. The wedding didn’t make us not do anything.
Post # 3
If it wasn’t for the wedding we wouldn’t be married. That’s about it. We still travelled and bought a house around the time of our engagement. He changed jobs just before we married.
Maybe have less of a fussy wedding if that’s not whay you want?
Also I’m being pedantic but it makes it confusing when you call him your Darling Husband when you’re not married yet.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
If it wasn’t for the wedding we wouldn’t be getting married in a couple months. Thats about it. Its not big, expensive or fussy and doesn’t hinder us from doing anything else we want or normally would do. The repeated Darling Husband reference is a little odd here. 🤔
Post # 5
sweetteawifey : If it wasn’t for the wedding, we would have taken more trips in the past year. If it wasn’t for the wedding, I might have made (a bit) more progress on my dissertation. If it wasn’t for the wedding, we’d have seen Hamilton already. So all small beans, really.
Interestingly, it was my sister’s wedding that had larger life impacts – if it wasn’t for her wedding, Darling Husband and I might have gotten engaged sooner, and might have gotten married a year earlier, which means my dog would have been able to be in our wedding ): But all that is speculation – I don’t know what we ultimately would have decided for our wedding date even if engagement had happened sooner (which is certain). So, who knows. But we got married when we did and I’m not upset or regretful about it.
Post # 6
We got married before I finished my postgrad training program. The plans for our married life were going to play out regardless of our wedding. That said, we had a small, affordable wedding, so we didn’t have to worry about it financially.
Now we are planning to TTC later in the year. I find myself frequently altering our future plans in anticipation of being pregnant and having a baby in our lives.
Post # 7
Saying “if it wasnt for the wedding” and then choosing to put the wedding off is why I have been engaged for over 9 years and am not married yet.
With the exceptions of putting it off twice to help take care of our ailing grandmothers who eventually passed in 2011 and 2015, I regret using that excuse over and over instead of just downsizing and getting married.
Post # 8
If it wasn’t for the wedding, we’d be taking a larger family vacation this year.
Otherwise, no. We’re still doing everything else we planned. Just bought a new house, TTC, getting a puppy.
Post # 9
If it wasn’t for the wedding we wouldn’t be married.
We had a short engagement – he proposed end of September, we traveled in October, started planning in November and got married in February.
I know in the US it’s common to plan a wedding a year+ in advance so I can see how the wedding would interfere with other life events. But having a short engagement meant that we focused on the wedding for those 4 months and it was over. Darling Husband even went to a week long ski trip a month before the wedding so life wasn’t postponed for the wedding.
Post # 10
Innerdonught : heavenlyflower : we actually are already married, we eloped for work reasons as he is military and it makes things a bit easier on us in the gap while we plan the wedding.
Thanks for your responses everyone, I just was curious if anyone else found their wedding just a little inconvenient sometimes lol.
And for clarification: I’m really not having a huge shindig, it’s more the timing than anything. But I just know that if we put it off further the whole thing will just never happen lol
Post # 11
sweetteawifey : I guess I would scale it down so it didn’t impact so many other life decisions.
If it wasn’t for the wedding, we wouldn’t be married. And I wouldn’t have a kick ass husband, I’d have a kick ass boyfriend/fiancé.
But, that being said, planning the wedding felt way more complicated than it actually was because I did a lot of it from a distance in the beginning. Keep pushing through, soon all the decisions will be made!
Post # 12
I got engaged last month, have a two week house guest who takes a lot of my time, then have a two week paperwork trip next month, a seven week work trip in Oct/Nov and am getting married in Dec. Fiance has a potential two week work trip starting tomorrow and yesterday I just agree to another two week work trip late July/early Aug. It definitely makes wedding planning harder, but the trips are either good work opportunities it would be a shame to miss out on, or else necessary to be able to get married. So the only thing I think “if it weren’t for the wedding…” is “I’d have more time to myself when I’m actually home”.
Post # 13
I get what you mean. For me it was Leave and our honeymoon. There was no question about us wanting our honeymoon but we took it at the end of our leave year, so during the year leading up to it I’d think “I’d love a week off work but I can’t because of the honeymoon”. It’s just sacrificing something now for something that feels like a long time away.
I actually have a similar feeling now. I would love to just take Friday off and laze around all day but we are hoping to book a holiday and I’m hoping to change my job and with Christmas leave – there just isn’t enough annual leave. So on Friday I have to wear work clothes, go into work and read about crap (literally I’m reading about crap at the minute). But it’ll be worth it when we’re on holiday/have some time together over Christmas and I get a new job.
Post # 14
Live your life! Don’t let the wedding hold you back
You will always get more money. You can never get more time to do the things you want to do!
Post # 15
Nothing too crazy, but if it wasn’t for the wedding I would be using more of my vacation time this summer instead of saving it up for my honeymoon but that’s something I’m totally okay with.
Your wedding is just one day of your life, don’t let this one day stop you from doing other things that can effect your future long-term.