(Closed) If not invited, does step mom attend rehearsal dinner?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Did your husband get an invitation? If he did, it should be addressed to both of you or just him. If its just addressed to him then I wouldn’t go.

Normally married couples are invited as a unit, even if you don’t like both people. But normally, you also don’t just show up to events uninvited. I would rather skip both events then show up somewhere I wasn’t wanted. If you aren’t close enough to the bride to ask her if she wants you at the rehearsal dinner and wedding, I wouldn’t go to either event. I think it would be especially weird to go to the rehearsal dinner and not the wedding though, since the rehearsal dinner is a thankyou dinner for the people participating in the wedding after the rehearsal for the wedding. Why would you attend a thank you dinner for a rehearsal for an event you’re not participating in, which is for an event you’re not invited to.

Post # 4
Member
11352 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@notsowickedstepmom:  

Are you and your husband contributing toward your stepdaughter’s wedding?

Post # 5
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m not going out of my way to invite my stepmom, because it is assumed that she’s coming. That said, I like her. So our situation is a little different. If I were in your situation, I’d ask. One moment of awkwardness is worth removing awkwardness and uncertainty the rest of the time. 

Post # 6
Member
349 posts
Helper bee

As a stepmom myself (fortunately with a pretty good relationship) I’m wondering if it might be more appropriate for the father to ask the bride about the stepmother attending.  That relieves stepmom of the awkwardness, allows the bride to give a more honest answer, and also gives the father a chance to ask that his wife receive the courtesy I believe she deserves. 

Post # 13
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would go. Especially since you guys are paying for most of it! I mean, seriously? You and your husband are pretty much hosting it.

Post # 16
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

well the grooms family traditionally pays for the reherasal dinner so no you shouldn’t be paying for it but you should absolutely be invited.  I didn’t send paper invites for my Rehearsal Dinner, but if you’re in the immediate family, unless specifically stated otherwise, you’re invited.

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