(Closed) If one more friend on facebook gets engaged….

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
9733 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I was with my Fiance for 7 years before he proposed. Getting engaged is not a race and everyone’s relationships move at a different pace. Focus on being happy for your friends and know they will be happy when it’s finally your turn.

Post # 17
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

Livelifeveryday:  I came off Facebook for different reasons to this, but honestly I have been SO MUCH HAPPIER since deactivating my account. (It’s been a few months now!) Just remember that with Facebook you are getting everyone’s highlight reel, you only see what they want you to see and you’re comparing their highs with your everyday life. You don’t know how long those girls waited and you don’t know how much pressure was on those guys to propose!

Post # 18
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

I read somewhere that looking at profiles of your less “successful” facebook friends can significantly boost your mood.

Maybe you should do this to kind of balance things out? Like, stalk all the people on your facebook who are still single? ๐Ÿ˜›

 

Post # 19
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

smpink:  i can’t imagine having a great time out, scrolling facebook and then seeing maybe someone had a better time and getting upset about it. that sounds like there are far greater issues than facebook going on here. I don’t mean to be critical, my point is that if it wasn’t facebook or social media, it would be something else. (for example, walking past someone with a nicer ring or a ring at all, better clothes)

Post # 20
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

gogglefruits:  hahaha.. petty but it may work!

At the end of the say your situation isn’t making you havppy so change it. I can’t imagine not being happy for someone elses milestone.. it seems kind of ass-holeish.. sorry, not sorry

Post # 21
Member
38 posts
Newbee

I feel like some of you are older …. meaning social media wasn’t a regular part of your life growing up. For alot of us, it was the norm. I’m not saying we didn’t have a choice to choose to simply not participate in social media, but it was kind of the thing as we were growing up in our teens ….so naturally we may have got a little addicted, sure. And Facebook and others can definitely have unhealthy impacts at times.

 

I really don’t get why some of you have to be so rude though and tell OP she’s basically a bitch for not being happy for others, when she was simply looking for some comraderie. Hundreds of women feel that tinge of hurt when they log onto fb and see the whole slew of people who just got engaged. So many can relate.

 

No need to make her feel bad.

Post # 22
Member
688 posts
Busy bee

Livelifeveryday:  I’ve been with my SO for a little over 6.5 years, still waiting, I feel your pain! Most of the people acting high and mighty like what you’re feeling isn’t understandable probably didn’t have to wait 6.5 years. Or maybe they wanted to wait 6.5 years. It is frustrating to wait that long when you don’t want to. And more frustrating when you watch couples meet, get engaged, and get married, and be married for years, all over the course of your relationship. No matter how great a person you are, you’re likely not JUST going to feel immense feelings of joy for the person. Hang in there. Crossing fingers for us both to have our time soon! 

Post # 23
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

bunny24:  Only 23 here, so I definitely grew up with it! I was really worried about coming off social media, but nothing changed. My friends still talk to me, the only diff is I don’t see updates from people I went to school with 7 years ago ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜‚

Post # 24
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

bunny24:  To be old, I was a kid when computers were becoming an everyday item in the home, a teenager when the beginnings of chatrooms and social media were starting. I’m old. It makes a difference but not a huge one in this attitude. I had enough of it in my 20s without looking at Facebook. You don’t need social media to be a bit stung hearing of the success of others. I agree others should not make her feel bad. She is an adult and can turn off that influence if it is bothering her. 

Post # 25
Member
5 posts
Newbee

This is my first real post on here, so good morning everyone!  I can relate to so many of you. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and still no proposal. We have a 2 year old son together too who has his last name. We have discussed getting married and he isn’t against the idea but said “How is that going to make things any different than they are now?” and “We’ll see, maybe someday”. It’s frustrating seeing friends and family members getting engaged to guys they have been with for half the amount of time. I’m not claiming to know the ins and outs of their relationships, but I do know that my boyfriend and have been through so much together and it hurts to know that he isn’t ready for it yet.

Post # 26
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

amandab82:  Yea guys don’t seem to “get” marriage alot of the time. I remember talking to my SO and he’s like well if we’ve been together for X amoutn of years then why do it then? or at all? What’s teh point?

 

facepalm. Ugh

Post # 27
Member
2166 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s hard because people use Facebook as their “highlight reel” all of the exciting new things that happen to them, they put on display to share with the world because they’re excited. We don’t do phone calls, mail out announcements or for that matter even email announcements, social media is the go to because it’s quick, easy and can reach a large group. With that being said, it does suck, especially when you’re in your mid-to-late twenties (just saying this age because that was the most common for me) that everyone was getting engaged, buying houses, and having babies. You almost feel behind if you’re not in the same space, and that SUCKS. But, I will say as cliche as it is, your time will come and it will be perfect. 

Post # 28
Member
5 posts
Newbee

chamcham: That’s exactly how he looks at it! He feels like if we’ve been together this long and already lived together X amount of years that getting married isn’t going to change anything and how is a ring going to make our relationship any different than it is now. It’s beyond frustrating. I’ve showed him pictures of rings I like and he tells me that I shouldn’t need a ring to know that he loves me.

Post # 29
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Rock Island Lake Club

I completely agree with others on deleting your facebook. I deleted mine about a year ago and it’s amazing how much lighter I feel. It’s veryyyy hard not to compare your life and relationships against others when things you want are happening for them and not for you. It says NOTHING about you or how you feel about your relationship with your guy. if you don’t get jealous of someone or something at some point in your life, you aren’t human. Do yourself a favor, delete you Facebook. You’ll feel a million times better!

Post # 30
Hostess
3868 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I was you this time last year and it sucks! My Fiance proposed after 7.5 years of dating and it seemed like every weekend another 10 people would have rings posted to their feeds. If you and your SO have talked about getting engaged and are on the same page, I’d try to stay busy and unfollow the recently engaged folks so you don’t have OMGWEDDING in your face every day. Deactivating FB isn’t a bad idea either and you can always reactivate after you get engaged ๐Ÿ™‚

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