(Closed) If one more person says…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I got a lot of this, too. People stopped saying it once we got married, if that makes you feel any better. <3 Hang in there. I just started writing it off as one of those cultural things that people feel obliged to say for whatever reason.

Post # 4
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

OH, once you get married, it’s “how’s married life? / is it any different?”…. From people who KNEW we lived together for like 1 1/2 years before the wedding. I respond to this with “oh, it’s SOOOOO much different.” They usually pick up on the sarcasm pretty quickly. 😉 Or they go “REALLY????” “no.” hahaha

Post # 5
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes.  And I guess because unlike his friends’ SO’s, I don’t keep Fiance on a leash approximately 4 inches long, he gets a lot of “just wait til you get married, you’ll never be allowed out again.”  I think that aggravates me more than anything, because it makes it seem like I’m not only insecure and crazy but also sneaky so that I’m hiding it til he can’t get away (nevermind that I know full well he absolutely CAN get away- I was a freakin’ divorce lawyer for a while, they can ALWAYS get away if they want to bad enough!).  Next one of his friends who says that when I’m within earshot very well might get a kick in the nuts. Just sayin’.

Post # 6
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That is so rude! I’ve heard comments from bitter divorced women at my work…they say things like, “Don’t ever get married.” “You haven’t sealed the deal yet; its not too late!” “Men change after you get married.”

 

Whatever!

Post # 7
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

That’s really strange… and rude.  I never heard anything like that.  Is it because of some specific factor like people think you’re too young or haven’t been together long enough?  (Not that it’s any of their business.  My Darling Husband and I were only 22 and 21 when we got married and I still never heard any of that.  I can’t imagine what would posses someone to be so rude and inconsiderate.  Sorry you’re having to deal with this :/

Post # 8
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

who says that to you? I mean that sounds really rude and intrusive. I would just make the point that only time will tell 

Post # 9
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You do realize that the very people who say that were once young, happy and in love. Things change with time both in good and bad. Feelings grow, feelings fade, life happens…

Post # 11
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Haters gonna hate. I enjoy my SO’s company. I did before he moved in. I do a year and a half after too. The ‘OMG I need to rip off your clothes every 5 minutes’ phase passed, but we aren’t sick of each other. I adore spending time with him, why would I want to marry him otherwise?!

 

 

Post # 12
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes.  People have said that to us for the entire 11 years we have been together.

We have lived together for 9.5 years.  We own businesses and work together all day and go home together, and spend our weekends together and with friends.  We adore almost every hour of being together, for some people….they cannot stand it.

We get a lot of ‘Oh my god, I could NEVER work with my husband and live with him.’ 

Well, we can. 

 

For many couples, the bliss doesn’t go away.  How awesome is that. 

Just smile, feel bad for them and say ‘I doubt it!!!!’ and walk away.  They are divorced, what do they know about making it work or good partner choosing?

Post # 13
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee

OH MY GOSH!! I could’ve written this post myself! Wow. ALL of his friends try to tell him…Oh when you get married ___ happens or she will do _____. I don’t keep my SO on any leash either and we have lived together 2 years. We are very comfortable, independent and trusting of eachother. He goes out with his boys, I go out with my girls, we have friends of the opposite sex, it’s not a big deal. All of his friends have wives that don’t “let” them do anything and I think they are trying to make themselves feel better by telling him that will happen lol. ANNOYING. Why would putting rings on and saying vows and having a party change a damn thing in your relationship?? Makes NOOOO sense to me.

^^ To answer my own question…from observation…It changes because one party or both parties now feel like they have you unconditionally. And stop doing things they once did or start doing things they never did. Ladies… (and gents) my philosophy is even if you’re married or have been together for 20 years, you need to act as thought you are boyfriend and girlfriend 🙂 MEANING….don’t stop doing the little things, don’t stop being affectionate, make time for eachother, don’t start acting like a crazy jeally belly because now you’re the wifey…Just love eachother 🙂 I think that’s why people get all up in your bizz saying things will change, because they did or their partner did.

Post # 14
Member
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When we first started dating a coworker told me that all those things I find cute about Fiance were going to be annoying in a few months. I was not young and this was not my first relationship so I was annoyed that she was trying to make it seem like because I was a few years younger than her that I was being naive. I realized when I left that job that she’s just a bitter old hag that hates men! lol

Your Fiance is right, some people are just jealous and don’t know how to be happy for others. There was a thread a few months ago about weddings causing others to divorce. Other couples see the happiness of newlyweds (or newly engaged) and begin comparing their relationship. 

Post # 16
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I never hear that! Generally our friends and my family are pretty pro-marriage and tend to have openly affectionate relationships with their spouses. My husband’s friends all brag about their wives and stuff so no one is negative about marriage or advises us that our love will fade.

The one thing is that some of my uncles and my Brother-In-Law always joke about is how I must be so bossy and how he’s so whipped. It’s completely the opposite. Darling Husband is super bossy and he’ll admit it, he’s the one who never wants to go out or drink or anything, the no strip club rule is his rule, and he never wants to go out with his friends! If anyone’s on a short leash it’s me (hehe not really), but it’s just the stereotype so people love to talk about it.

The topic ‘If one more person says…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors