Post # 1
that Fiance and I will get tired of eachother, I am going to start punching people.
I already made a post expressing aggravation with this but it keeps happening. Fiance and I don’t even provoke it. People will go out of their way to ask how we’re doing and then say “oh, well, those feelings won’t last.”
Fiance tells me they’re all jealous because we’re happy, young, and in love, and they don’t have what we have anymore.
I guess by this time I’m wondering if it’s just us or if every engaged couple gets to hear this from everyone they meet.
Post # 3
I got a lot of this, too. People stopped saying it once we got married, if that makes you feel any better. <3 Hang in there. I just started writing it off as one of those cultural things that people feel obliged to say for whatever reason.
Post # 4
OH, once you get married, it’s “how’s married life? / is it any different?”…. From people who KNEW we lived together for like 1 1/2 years before the wedding. I respond to this with “oh, it’s SOOOOO much different.” They usually pick up on the sarcasm pretty quickly. 😉 Or they go “REALLY????” “no.” hahaha
Post # 5
Yes. And I guess because unlike his friends’ SO’s, I don’t keep Fiance on a leash approximately 4 inches long, he gets a lot of “just wait til you get married, you’ll never be allowed out again.” I think that aggravates me more than anything, because it makes it seem like I’m not only insecure and crazy but also sneaky so that I’m hiding it til he can’t get away (nevermind that I know full well he absolutely CAN get away- I was a freakin’ divorce lawyer for a while, they can ALWAYS get away if they want to bad enough!). Next one of his friends who says that when I’m within earshot very well might get a kick in the nuts. Just sayin’.
Post # 6
That is so rude! I’ve heard comments from bitter divorced women at my work…they say things like, “Don’t ever get married.” “You haven’t sealed the deal yet; its not too late!” “Men change after you get married.”
Post # 7
That’s really strange… and rude. I never heard anything like that. Is it because of some specific factor like people think you’re too young or haven’t been together long enough? (Not that it’s any of their business. My Darling Husband and I were only 22 and 21 when we got married and I still never heard any of that. I can’t imagine what would posses someone to be so rude and inconsiderate. Sorry you’re having to deal with this :/
Post # 8
who says that to you? I mean that sounds really rude and intrusive. I would just make the point that only time will tell
Post # 9
You do realize that the very people who say that were once young, happy and in love. Things change with time both in good and bad. Feelings grow, feelings fade, life happens…
Post # 10
@pinkfrog: Oh yeah, Fiance told me some guys at our work told him something along the same lines, even though they never really hung out much to begin with.
I trust Fiance and if he were the type to go out and drink and party all night every night I wouldn’t marry him. I tell him all the time not to lt me get in his way if he wants to go out, just give me a heads up so I know where he’ll be.
@emilygrace07: I don’t know if there’s a specific reason. Fiance did note, though, that these comments are coming from people who a) don’t seem to care about their spouses because they work all the time b) are divorced or c) got married more for business aspects than for love. So maybe he’s right about the jealousy. Fiance and I put a lot of effort into eachother because he works 10 hour days and only gets one day off so for us maintaining a good relationship and spending quality time together is extra important and…maybe people pick up on that and take it the wrong way.
@vmec: Of course I realize that. But who wants to constantly hear it? Why not just let people be happy? Everyone goes through their honeymoon phase, why not let other couples enjoy it too? Why deprive then by giving them depressing news right away? Eventually we’re all going to die and not feel any happiness at all but who wants to hear that every 15 minutes?
Post # 11
Haters gonna hate. I enjoy my SO’s company. I did before he moved in. I do a year and a half after too. The ‘OMG I need to rip off your clothes every 5 minutes’ phase passed, but we aren’t sick of each other. I adore spending time with him, why would I want to marry him otherwise?!
Post # 12
Yes. People have said that to us for the entire 11 years we have been together.
We have lived together for 9.5 years. We own businesses and work together all day and go home together, and spend our weekends together and with friends. We adore almost every hour of being together, for some people….they cannot stand it.
We get a lot of ‘Oh my god, I could NEVER work with my husband and live with him.’
Well, we can.
For many couples, the bliss doesn’t go away. How awesome is that.
Just smile, feel bad for them and say ‘I doubt it!!!!’ and walk away. They are divorced, what do they know about making it work or good partner choosing?
Post # 13
OH MY GOSH!! I could’ve written this post myself! Wow. ALL of his friends try to tell him…Oh when you get married ___ happens or she will do _____. I don’t keep my SO on any leash either and we have lived together 2 years. We are very comfortable, independent and trusting of eachother. He goes out with his boys, I go out with my girls, we have friends of the opposite sex, it’s not a big deal. All of his friends have wives that don’t “let” them do anything and I think they are trying to make themselves feel better by telling him that will happen lol. ANNOYING. Why would putting rings on and saying vows and having a party change a damn thing in your relationship?? Makes NOOOO sense to me.
^^ To answer my own question…from observation…It changes because one party or both parties now feel like they have you unconditionally. And stop doing things they once did or start doing things they never did. Ladies… (and gents) my philosophy is even if you’re married or have been together for 20 years, you need to act as thought you are boyfriend and girlfriend 🙂 MEANING….don’t stop doing the little things, don’t stop being affectionate, make time for eachother, don’t start acting like a crazy jeally belly because now you’re the wifey…Just love eachother 🙂 I think that’s why people get all up in your bizz saying things will change, because they did or their partner did.
Post # 14
When we first started dating a coworker told me that all those things I find cute about Fiance were going to be annoying in a few months. I was not young and this was not my first relationship so I was annoyed that she was trying to make it seem like because I was a few years younger than her that I was being naive. I realized when I left that job that she’s just a bitter old hag that hates men! lol
Your Fiance is right, some people are just jealous and don’t know how to be happy for others. There was a thread a few months ago about weddings causing others to divorce. Other couples see the happiness of newlyweds (or newly engaged) and begin comparing their relationship.
Post # 15
@axeyourmakeupkit: I love stories like that.
One of my favorite things to see when I’m out are older married couples that have been together 30+ years and are still affectionate with eachother, holding hands, hugging, etc. Once I overheard an older man ordering in a restaurant and he said “When I find something I like, I stick with it…like you” and then he gave his wife a big kiss on the cheek. FI’s parents are like that too and I always tell him that my goal in life is to be that kind of couple.
Post # 16
I never hear that! Generally our friends and my family are pretty pro-marriage and tend to have openly affectionate relationships with their spouses. My husband’s friends all brag about their wives and stuff so no one is negative about marriage or advises us that our love will fade.
The one thing is that some of my uncles and my BIL always joke about is how I must be so bossy and how he’s so whipped. It’s completely the opposite. Darling Husband is super bossy and he’ll admit it, he’s the one who never wants to go out or drink or anything, the no strip club rule is his rule, and he never wants to go out with his friends! If anyone’s on a short leash it’s me (hehe not really), but it’s just the stereotype so people love to talk about it.