Post # 1
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
tells me “you have so long, don’t worry about plans” or “you have 14 months…”one more time I may or may not FREAK OUT!
No, I don’t have to have every.single.plan figured out right this moment but I have 14 months to plan, not 14 months til I have to start planning. Our venue had two weekends left in July (one of which was ours, PTL)
I just ordered the dress, which some said was way too early but I figured it won’t get here til October, by the time I hunt down an alterations specialist, deal with the holidays, and decide what exactly I want (shoes, train, bustle) I’ll have enough time.
I guess this was more of a rant, but I’m getting irrated with people who assume you have all the time in the world.Personally, I like having all this time to pick what I want, and not feel rushed.
Anyone else running into this or am I alone here?
Post # 3
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
That may be annoying to you– maybe just don’t mention the wedding for a few more months? That’ll cut down on those pesky comments. The bee is the place to go to get your wedding fix! 🙂
Post # 4
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
I got that a lot – I had most of my major vendors (venue, caterer/coordinator, photographer, music, officiant) booked by March and I had ordered my dress. My standard responses were:
“I’m spreading out the costs over the remaining time.”
“I want to book my vendors while they’re still available.”
“Summer is a very popular time for weddings.”
“I have some free time. Why not use it well?”
“I watched my sister plan her wedding and get very stressed near the end – I’m trying to avoid that.”
Hope these help! I feel your pain.
Post # 5
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
Sheesh, I was told that often and we only had a 6 month engagement. People just like to think they’re calming you down by saying those things, when in reality, it’s more helpful for people to just understand that you’re in planning mode and want to figure these things out!
Post # 6
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
I completely agree. Fiance says these things to me sometimes and I just can’t stand it. I want to plan now because it’s fun for me! And I want him to be involved now too and not procrastinate things…sigh… I keep saying that once the count down is under a year people will shut it…hopefully that will be the case 🙂
Post # 7
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I got that a lot too, and I started planning 2 years out. Try not to let it bother you; just keep planning away. You will be very thankful that you started this early. I was able to relax; for the most part, the last couple of weeks before our wedding because I knew everything was done the way we wanted it to be. We also paid for the entire wedding ourselves, so it was a blessing to be able to spread our payments out over time.
Best wishes to each of you and happy planning 🙂
Post # 8
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
Thanks guys, glad I’m not the only one. It’s not as if I constantly gripe about it, but if I mention something about talking to a photographer or what-not people always have this shocked expression of “you’re doing it this early!??!” Yes. Yes I am. And good Lord willing I will not have to be in over drive mode the last months of the wedding. Also, I am a high strung person and like to know what’s going to happen long before it actually happens.
Post # 9
Member
8 posts
Newbee
It is also a pain when people say “don’t worry about the details, it’s your day”
that just doesn’t seem realistic!
And hello, the guest list alone is taking upwards of half the planning time!
Don’t sweat it girl.
Post # 10
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
I know it’ll all work out. It’s just frustrating when no one understands.
Post # 11
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
We’ve had a three year engagement, we didn’t start actively planning till around the two year mark! My Mom would make the comment the most and I’m very anal about plans and like to have everything done!
When we hit two months earlier this month, my Mom made me laugh. She said “Remember when I kept telling you to relax because you had so much time? All of sudden it is September, and we have two months! What happened?! It made laugh so hard and I said “Now do you see why I tried to get everything done!”
With a bit over 6 weeks to go, the only things we have left to do is make final payments, seating chart, signs for things(chairs, cookie buffet, guest book and etc.) and buying last minute things! I couldn’t be happier I only have little things to do!
Post # 12
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
ARrRARGGGhHhhH!!!!!!!! I get this alllll the time! Usually right before the person saying it DOESN’T OFFER TO HELP! I am in planning mode! I am having FUN! (mostly) I am employed! I have a home! I do not intend to forgo christmas/Halloween/Thanksgiving/New Years/ V Day/ ST Paddy’s/Easter/ Picnics and pool parties and BBQs/exercising/grocery shopping/cleaning/spending time with friends, family, fiance, pets/ going on vacation/watching a movie/shopping/playing video games/ balancing my checkbook 🙂 So NO! I do not have all the time in the world! life goes on while you are planning….. And, everyone else getting married next summer is planning too! so that means we are all in competition for the same resources on teh same day. Uh, Hellloooooo! The early bird gets the worm! Not to mention, i have a gazillion DIY decor/favors/invitations/gifts/whatnot projects to do. They all take time, and if I wait till spring, that’s going to get in the way of all the stuff i have to do then: final tastings, dress fittings, seating charts, candy ordering, bach party, wedding shower, friends wedding, racing (runner!), gardening, etc etc etc!!! Thank you for letting me vent, i am glad I am not the only one who not only gets these comments all the time, but is also somewhat annoyed/perturbed by them 🙂
Post # 13
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
I just about typed up a topic just like this and then I saw yours. I feel the exact same way. Everyone does it, from my family to my bridesmaids. I swear it drives me insane. I just tell them “I’m a full time graduate student, full time teacher, and I tutor. Have to get done what I can when I have time and energy.”
