(Closed) If people talked to guys the way they talk to women! (light hearted rant)

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
9520 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

As a woman in a hedro relationship I never heard this or said this to any one. This is common? I’m an only child and my father really wanted me to have grand children for him but when I gave my stance on adoption he dropped it. Couples go with the timeline they are comfortable with, why should others judge? 

Post # 3
Member
1624 posts
Bumble bee

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RobbieAndJuliahaha:  Hmm, no one made any remarks of this sort to me. If anything, I was a little worried about getting pregnant after 35, and everyone assured me that I was plenty young and shouldn’t be concerned. FWIW, I have heard several men getting slightly harrassed if friends and family think a marriage proposal should have already occurred. 

Post # 4
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016 - Long Island, NY

Before we got engaged, people I hadn’t seen for a bit used to grab my hand and inspect it for a ring and then laugh and say, “Just making sure I didn’t miss the big news yet!” Wtf? 

Post # 5
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

Ohh I hate that!!

i just got back from holidays with my SO and before I left EVERYONE was asking me if he was going to propose rarara

and then when I got back they were he didn’t ? Why not? Literally i joked that my whole workplace had a bet going (with me being the only betting no) 

i asked him since we got back if he had been asked and literally one friend and one lady in his office politely asked him before he left and then just accepted his answer! Arg so frustrating

 

View original reply
theatrejulia:  ok Ive never had those specific things about sex and cows said ever – but definitely lots of questions on when where why

Post # 6
Member
2730 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My Fiance actually got asked often when he was going to pop the question and how he “better get a move on” before proposing.

I think most of the “you’re not getting any younger!” comments solely directed towards women are because we biologically can’t have children after a certain age (or risks increase, etc) while men can reproduce when they’re 70.

FWIW, I’ve never heard any of those comments you mentioned IRL

Post # 7
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

And 99% of the time it is women saying that to other women, when it is said at all because I don’t think it’s a common as daytime TV makes it out to be. 

Post # 10
Member
2730 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
RobbieAndJuliahaha:  oh, they’re totally rude I agree. I’m just saying that’s why no one says those things to men.

Post # 11
Member
1469 posts
Bumble bee

I got many pre-holiday remarks at one point. Along the lines of ‘enjoy your engagement holiday!’. I didn’t much appreciate it, as part of me felt like we’d come back as disappointments, when I just wanted to enjoy myself!

My friends ask me a lot ‘Do you think you’ll get married?’, and I try to be all non-chalant about it, but I’m sobbing inside, lol. 

My SO might get asked too when I’m not there, but I don’t think he’d tell me about it. 

Post # 12
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

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theatrejulia:  Cows – as in why buy the milk…

I literally didn’t realise that was a saying still used before joining the bee!

Post # 13
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee

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RobbieAndJuliahaha:  I agree with you, OP. People on this forum seem to love drama, and give sometimes extreme advices without even knowing the details (no offense to anyone, this just seems to be a very common thing on forums on the internet). 

If a woman on here says that her boyfriend hasn’t proposed after three years, most women on here say ‘Move on and find someone who’s really into you’. I’m sure if a guy came here and said ‘I proposed after three years and she said she needs more time’ many women on here would say ‘Give her some time, maybe she just needs to clear her mind’.

 

It’s the same in real life though- I’m a 27 years old, have been in a relationship for almost three years, not married yet, and everytime I meet my grandma she looks at me with her super sad face, asking me while I’m still not married and that I really have to do something about that. At the same time, my brother is 31 years old and has been with his girlfriend for a couple of years too, no engagement or marriage planned yet, and she NEVER asks him, nor does she ever make any comment about that.

Post # 14
Member
3212 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

For what it’s worth, FI’s work rode him HARD every holiday for about four years about proposing and getting me a ring. The only comments I ever got were from his family, within about 4 – 6 months of the proposal…  And that was basically them making sure it was something I wanted before they gave him a hard time. I totally have seen his mother get more interrogated about it than I ever was. 

Post # 15
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Believe it or not, telling people to mind their own business (other than parents who won’t be stopped by this), usually works.

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