(Closed) If S.O on vacation, how often do you expect to hear from them?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My husband goes to the States once per year and I hear from him intermittenly because roaming costs are a bitch and most hotels charge for WiFi. He calls me before he goes to bed and maybe a text here and there if he finds some WiFi. 

If you have expectations around the frequency of communication when he’s away without you, you should make it known before he leaves.. He can agree to your terms or come to an agreeable compromise. 

I don’t think its fair to be upset that he didn’t drive somewhere (away from what he was doing) to call you..

 

Post # 17
Member
2331 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Mlim:  we haven’t been daily texters or talkers since we were dating. We’d go 2 days without hearing from each other and that’s fine.

He’s been on vacation without me (Cacun for his bachelor, Cabo for his friends bachelor, on a cruise with family…) and I don’t hunt him down if he doesn’t call. 

I wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t drive somewhere to get wifi to talk to me either. If my guy is with friends, I don’t bug because I want him to enjoy himself as much as possible without thinking “oh shit, I have to call home and don’t have service, what do I do!” 

Don’t be upset with him OP, he must have had his reasons why he couldn’t call…. he is looking at cars, not in Vegas, I’m sure he’ll be fine….. 🙂

 

Post # 18
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee

Personally, I’d only want to know he arrived safely, and then once more before he’s leaving to come home. 

Post # 19
Hostess
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If Fiance is at his Dads in CO where there is barely any service I don’t expect a lot of contact. Just in the evenings because his Dad has WIFI in his home and we use ChatOn to talk. He will also do a lot of SnapChat that will randomly load if he hits a spot with service so I can look at all the beautiful scenery. 

Post # 20
Member
594 posts
Busy bee

My husband and I don’t vacation without each other, but if he did, I’d expect to hear from him at least a couple of times a day. Call me clingy if you want, but I have generalized anxiety disorder and OCD, and I’d panic and think he’s dead or in a hospital if he didn’t.

Post # 22
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

ABL12490:  We are like you. We vacation seperately often and most of the time it is just a got here safe and a don’t forget to pick me up. We may shoot off an email or fb post if time and internet are available. I just don’t get interrupting the experience to do a mandatory check in. 

Post # 23
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Mlim: I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss that suggestion.. You appear to put a lot of your own self worth into how often you’re with your partner and seem to have a lot of issues regarding communication and expectations..

Counselling isn’t a bad thing. 

Post # 25
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee

My husband hasn’t gone on a “vacation” without me, but if he has to go out of town for some kind of family function and I’m too tied up and can’t make it, we’ll just text a few times a day. We’re not big phone-talkers.

Post # 26
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Eh. When we’re apart we generally try to talk once every day or two. Evening is usually preferable, but if one of us is busy in the evening or goes to bed early,  or whatever, it’s no big deal if we skip a night. Given the connection difficulties, I wouldn’t blink an eye if my husband did what your fiance did.

Post # 27
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d probably expect to hear from him about 2-3 times a day. Definitely a real phone call at night. 

Post # 28
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I expect to hear from him when he gets to where he’s going and before he leaves to come home, because I want to know if he made it ok.  I am totally ok if I don’t hear from him during a trip with his friends, no point interrupting his time if he’s busy and having fun.  But he will usually call every night if there is reception anyways because he just likes to.

if I’m the one away, I rarely call because I’m not a phone person but I will let him know at the end of each day that I’m in for the night otherwise he will worry about me.

Post # 29
Member
3870 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Mlim:  It depends on the trip. My Fiance takes a yearly kayaking trip with his friend and is gone Friday night (sleeps at friends house), Saturday night (sleeps at camp with no electricity), and is home Sunday afternoon. For a trip like that, I expect a call Friday night before bed, Saturday morning when they arrive at the camp, and Sunday afternoon when he gets into his car and can charge his phone again. For any other trip where he has the ability to charge his phone and has signal, I expect at least a text a couple of times a day. On a normal day where we both work, we speak in the morning and on his way home from work, not to mention several texts throughout the day when either of us has time.. We’re used to speaking several times a day. So, again, it would depend on the trip, but I would be really uncomfortable if Fiance went on a trip where he couldn’t contact me for several days. 

Post # 30
Member
4219 posts
Honey bee

Mlim:  if I’m referring to my real-life situation where my SO frequently travels for his work (which includes international flights), I would be happy if he sent me a short email or text message once during the day and a call at night before he goes to bed. But in reality, he does call atleast twice daily (before he goes to work from the hotel & after he gets back to his room at night before bedtime) with one email in between. But then again we started with a LDR and didn’t know anything else.

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