(Closed) If sex with SO/DH/FI sucked, did it get better?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: If sex with SO/DH/FI sucked, did it get better?
    Yes it got better. : (43 votes)
    68 %
    No it still sucks. : (14 votes)
    22 %
    Other. : (6 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9952 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Lol.. Wow did I ever misread the title on this topic !!

    Too funny…. because I believe that

    Sucking ALWAYS makes it better.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    908 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I wouldn’t say it ever “sucked” but I think communication is key here for anyone looking for improvement. If you’re not on the same page, you need to be able to tell him what you need (whether that is an increase in frequency or a different technique) because otherwise he’ll never know. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Well with my ex – the sex started out ok-ish, rqpidly declined and never got better. Hence why I had a lover!

    Post # 6
    Member
    3471 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    HA! Yeah– we’ve been through a few of these over the years… 

    The longest was a misunderstanding that happened between us.  Essentially, it boils down to my not liking something he did, and I got mad and left to pout for a few hours, when he realized I was gone, he came out to apologize but I had gotten myself so worked up that I thought his motives behind what he did was to “take advantage” of me and he was more concerned with apologizing and making me not mad anymore that he didn’t correct me.  Anyway, I spent almost 2 years battleing trust issues because I thought he had taken advantage of the situation on that night; and the more time that passed the less he wanted to bring it up.  Finally– he was invited on a talk show as a guest for that particular “interest” and he finally worked up the courage to ask me about it; I told him I was still pretty upset over it (again yesrs later) and that was almost the end of the conversation all over again; but I pressed the issue wanting him to “explain hemself” (i.e. I wanted a better apology) and when he finally did explain his motives and mindset my whole perception of the event changed.  We spent 2 over years with trust issues regarding intimacy together purely because we couldn’t communicate properly. 

     

    We’ve also gone through phases where one of us wants to try something new, or gets into it for a while and the other isn’t really on board– but we’ve always worked it out in the end.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    4582 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Our first time was so awkward and not the least bit enjoyable. Neither of us had been with anyone for about six months, so I guess we just had to find our groove. It improved after the first couple of times.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    With my current guy, the sex is always great.

    My ex? It was pretty good some days, okay most days, and downright sucky other days.

    It really didn’t get better, and by God, I tried.

    It really came down to the fact that we didn’t have chemistry.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It sucked when we first started because neither of us knew what we were doing, but we learned! So yes, it definitely got better.

    Post # 10
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @redheadem:  <– That.

    We were both eachother’s firsts (wayyyy pre-wedding night, lol) so we had to learn together. That in itself made it not so great the first few times or not so great when we tried something to find out we didn’t like it. But overall, good. 🙂 Our wedding night sex was HOT. 😉 Years of experience together finally. hahaha.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @AmeliaBedelia:  First few times?! Our sex life sucked for months!!! Haha. But yes, luckily that was waaay pre-wedding night!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    COMMUNICATION. Our first time was horrible. He was so rough!! I had to take it like a champ LOL. But I told him what I wanted and vice versa and now it’s so much better LOL.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @redheadem:  I was being generous. 😉 We had a few fairly good times during the first few months, but not consistently, ya know? The consistency is what picked up for us with our experience together. I like knowing that we know what to do to please eachother. I think that’s a part of the draw of monogamy.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11270 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @This Time Round:  we have dirty minds.  i thought the same thing.

     

    to be honest, sex has always been great from the very first time.  it’s only 3-4 times a week now but still amazing.  don’t criticize me but if it wasn’t good from the start, i probably wouldn’t have married him.

    Post # 16
    Member
    549 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Our first few times were awkward, nervous, and a little blah. But it improved greatly, and we have some fun times!

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