If SO won't propose to you, have his brother do it first…He bought the ring

posted 8 months ago in Waiting
Post # 46
2594 posts
Sugar bee

catqueen92 :  I’m glad you didn’t take it that way.  

Hindsight is 20/20 and all that and I am in a much better place now.  Thank you. 

Post # 47
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I can’t remember if you mentioned in your earlier post whether your SO also has GAD or depression? Procrastinating on something you want to do and then feeling shame and depression when your failure is exposed (as his was when his younger brother proposed and you were seriously upset) seems like something he might want to get into with a therapist. Also the fact that he was the one who disappointed you, yet you were the one who ended up comforting him – I think other bees are picking up on this as a troubling event that you don’t want to let become standard practice in your relationship.

Does he drag his feet on other things that would be positive changes, like going after growth opportunities at work or getting in shape, for example? Maybe he is so afraid of failure that he doesn’t want to try. I can relate to some extent, though not in my relationship. Sorry if I’m projecting or in the wrong ballpark – just an idea!

I’m glad you’re not sweeping under the rug the issues in your relationship just because he bought a ring, and I hope you’ll be very happy together. 

Here’s a picture of my 1.5 carat equivalent Forever Brilliant moissanite. It’s an OEC, not a round brilliant, but it’s in your size range. My finger is size 5.75. 

Post # 49
2820 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think it’s ‘forcing’ him at all, sometimes people just get complacent and procrastinatey and need a wake up call to kick them back into action. 

When I was 6 and my sister was 4, my parents had been trying to get me to get rid of my training wheels on my bike for years, but I just wasn’t fussed. Then one day my little sister whips by me on her bike WITH NO TRAINING WHEELS. I took mine off the same day and figured it out in 5 minutes. (This is mostly irrelevant, but it’s the first thing that popped into my head) 

Post # 50
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Congrats! So excited for you! Show us the ring when you get it! X

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