(Closed) If someone bough a gift, should I invite them? Our guest list has too many…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10569 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Nope, it’s not like people are purchasing tickets to your wedding.  I’ve given gifts to weddings when I haven’t been invited.

Post # 5
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree that you are not obligated to invite her and you can send her a nice thank you and move on.

Post # 6
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@cieritaqt:  I think that if you’re willing to tell someone where you’re registered, and willing to accept a gift from that person, you should invite him or her to the wedding.  

Post # 7
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Why did you forward a link to your registry if you weren’t going to invite the person?? You could have upfront declined and told her it was a small affair and the kind thought was appreciated. 

Post # 8
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@peachacid:  +1

It’s not like she randomly bought you a gift and gave it to you or even found your registry on her own. You had the opportunity, when she inquired about your registry, to say, “Oh that’s so sweet of you. I don’t need a gift, really. That’s totally unnecessary. Thank you though.” I had people wanting to buy me a gift and wanted to know where I was registered and this is how I responded.

 

Post # 9
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@lilbluebird:  +1

I agree — when non-invitees ask you about your registry, thank them for the thought and tell them that you don’t need anything. Then if they give you a gift ANYWAY, that’s on them.

Are you obligated to invite her? No. But I don’t get why you were comfortable telling her how she could buy you a gift when you weren’t going to invite her.  Personally, that would make me feel bad about not inviting her after that and I would probably extend an invite.

Post # 10
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@cieritaqt:  I have a former coworker who knew she wasn’t invited to my wedding and asked me for my registry information. Just because someone gives you a gift does not mean you have to invite them. You didn’t ask her for a gift, she asked for the info and you gave it to her. She’s an adult and decided to spend her money to give you something. Send her a nice thank you card as you would anyone else who gave you an unsolicited gift. 

Post # 11
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

I think that since you were okay with telling her where she could go to buy you a gift, you should invite her… but that’s just me.

Post # 12
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

@cieritaqt:

I’m with some of the others sending her a link to where your registered is like inviting her even if she asked for it.

Post # 13
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@cieritaqt:  nope that’s okay. I’m sure she understands.

The topic ‘If someone bough a gift, should I invite them? Our guest list has too many…’ is closed to new replies.

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