(Closed) If someone else wore white…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
3113 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I mean what could you really do about it? I’ve seen 2 guests in the last year wearing white lace dresses, I definitely noticed but what can you do? Ask them to leave? As for the bridesmaid color, I don’t think there’s much you can do about that, I accidentally wore the same color as the bridesmaids once, when I found out I told the bride I had purchased a dress in that color and asked if I should return it and she didn’t care at all. 

Post # 17
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I dont care if people wear wedding colours as long as its not the actual bridesmaid dress (that would be wierd and confusing)

all events in life have a dress code – just as people can state ‘black tie’, ‘cocktail attire’, ‘casual’ or even ‘fancy dress’ it is perfectly fair to state ‘no white’ or ‘no black’ or ‘no wedding colours’ and is good clear communication which is far more mature than playing games and expecting people to mind read what you want… only people who actually want to wear white should be offended and honestly they are probably the attention seeking, cause drama over nothing people to begin with for even wanting to wear white and if you dont ‘agree’ then you dont have to attend, its that simple

Post # 18
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

girlgt :  We’re not including don’t wear these colors, but like you’re we’re including something along the lines of “hey, the reception venue is a garden, so probably don’t wear heels”.  I don’t think it’s a rude as everyone is saying, the last few weddings I’ve been to have been VERY formal and people were wearing jeans, white sun dresses you name it. Typically the people I’ve seen wear white, were absolutely people who knew better, but did it on purpose to spite the bride. Like at my cousin’s wedding a woman wore white because she thought the groom should be marrying her, but in that case she’d do it anyway and get a bigger triumph if it had been on the invitation. 

Post # 19
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

btob17 :  I have TOTALLY heard of that happening! Some girl was upset she wasn’t in the bridal party and got the same dress and wore it to the wedding!

Post # 20
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I don’t think it’s ok to list this on a site or invite. I have been instructed before as a wedding guest on what colors to not wear and it always ticked me off.

assume your guests are considerate people. Tbh there are a couple of my guests that I feel like are self centered enough to do this… But unless someone tells me “I’m wearing white” I can’t very well go around saying ” don’t wear white!!!” If you know what I mean. I just figure if anyone shows up wearin white to my wedding my Opinionated Maid/Matron of Honor or sassy mom will give them “the eye” and make some sort of back handed comment that will proceed to make the offender feel like the biggest idiot 😉 basically if someone wants to look stupid, let them. Other people will sure as heck notice.

Post # 22
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t care that much if someone wears white ot my wedding, but at the same time I would be happy to oblige and not wear colors that the bride doesn’t want me to wear. I don’t wear black/white for the weddings and in some cultures/context I would be vary of red too. I don’t think it’s too much of a big deal for me to not wear purple of salmon pink cause those are bride colors chosen by the bride. 

Post # 23
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I hate when I’m told not to do something that I obviously wouldn’t do.  It just makes me want to do it.  And no purple, c’mon now, why would that matter.  “Oh you don’t want me to wear white OR purple bride?  Well what do you think of this white AND purple dress!  Suck it.”

I wouldn’t really do that because I’m not nearly confrontational enough but I’d fantasize about it all day, in my non-white non-purple dress.

Post # 24
Member
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

No one wore white to my wedding (at least I didn’t notice anyone) so I’m not sure if I would have noticed or cared but I do admit that when I’m a guest at a wedding and someone wears white I side eye them.  Obviously no one is going to mistake them for the bride but with so many other colors why do some people insist on choosing white.  I have a hard time believing it’s the only color they own but I digress.

I did once wear a puple dress to a wedding that was pretty much the exact color as the BMs.  I had no idea what the colors of the wedding were since the invites were all white.  I was a little embarassed but at least the BMs were in gowns.

Post # 25
Member
321 posts
Helper bee

I just think of Kate Middleton’s wedding. Did anyone think Pippa or the other bridesmaids were the bride? Absolutely not. What about Solange Knowles? I think it’s ridiculous to be threatened by something so petty. I would be pretty shocked to see that on an invitation.

Post # 26
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

girlgt :  She was his best friend and her HUSBAND was the Bridesmaid or Best Man…yeah. My cousin’s husband wanted nothing to do with her, so she dated his male best friend, then got married and had kids. Etc, all while still trying to get together with my cousin’s husband. She wrote this letter to him and read it at the rehersal dinner about how much she loved him. It was so awkward.

Post # 27
Member
12470 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

girlgt :  Traditionally wearing white, black, or red is off limits for guests. White, even all white is acceptable according to Emily Post as long as it’s not bridal looking. 

However, these are guidelines for guests only. Unless they have opened up a discussion, it’s even ruder to lecture fully grown adults on good manners. If someone were to show up in a long white lace gown it would only be a reflection on them. 

I wouldn’t wear white to a wedding, but personally could not possibly have cared less if someone had to mine. 

Post # 28
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Omg here’s the thing though: if she’s an all out attention seeker, then it won’t matter if she doesn’t wear white because she could show up in a flaming tutu for attention, and still say, well, you just said no white, this bitch is ORANGE. 

Please do not insult the general intelligence of all of your guests by telling them no white. 

Also, even if they all show up in white…do you think maybe they’ll be confused on who the bride is? Probably not. And, again, even if they all show up wearing white, what would you do about it? Unless you have actual actions in place for if someone violates your rules, I’d avoid mentioning anything.

Post # 29
Member
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I wouldn’t do/say anything, but I think it’s totally tacky.

My parents both decided to wear wedding party colours, and I even thought that was a little strange… 

Post # 30
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

It depends. I once wore a knee length dress that had pink, yellow and orange flowers all over it and a white background. It was a last minute dress and it was ‘colourful enough’. So a dress with white in it wouldn’t bother me. Id thik it tacky though if someone wore an outfit that wall all or mostly white…but I wouldn’t call them out on it.

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