(Closed) If someone hits you, hit them back harder.

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 139
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsPanda99:  no problem, I apologize for any misunderstanding here too. Text is a tricky thing ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 140
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsPanda99:  It is unfortunate, but sometimes if you become a victim of one person, others see it as a weakness associated with you and feel it’s OK to exploit that weakness for themselves – I saw it happen a few times with a few kids who were perpetually bullied by more than one other kid. I was passive for a while, but enough was enough. My friends liken that experience to beating someone up on your first day in prison, that you either do it or spend your sentence being someone else’s “bottom”. I wasn’t the only one to benefit from garnering a reputation as a fighter – it filtered out through my close friends too (“if you touch her, Pudding will knock you out”).
As for your accent not being to blame….mine actually was. I moved to Canada from England the month before grade 8 began, and my English accent was the root cause of most of the mocking/comments I got from other kids, and was (I think) specifically why this girl picked me out of the crowd.

Post # 141
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - City, State

Neither Darling Husband or I are violent people, but we will definitely teach our kids to “fight back”.

My parents always told my older sister to turn the other cheek and be the bigger person, and she was bullied throughout school.  When it came time for me and my brother to go to school, my parents knew better and told us “if someone hits you, hit them back”.  So we did.  For both of us, it only happened one time and no one bothered messing with us again. 

I will also teach them that you can’t pick on others if you don’t expect it in return!

 

Post # 142
Member
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We will be teaching our kids that if someone hits them FIRST in a bullying, vicious manner, then to have at them. I was bullied as a child, mostly verbally, but if someone hit me I knew it was OK to fight back. Nothing is worse than a tattle tale, and wimping out or tattling could make the problem worse for the child.

I will also teach my child to talk about it, to us, to teachers, to whomever will be able to help them. No kid should suffer in silence.

Post # 143
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MrsPanda99: i totally agree. self defense all the way. it’s not teaching your child to be a bully or to pick fights, but rather to have the self confidence to stand up for themselves when they are being threatened or find themselves in a potentially in a harmful situation. bullies prey on weakness and always walking away or not standing up for yourself oftens gets you know bc, like you said, teenagers haven’t developed the same social skills that adults (should) have. Defending yourself verbally or physically teaches children strength and character later on in life. I think every child should have this. make for much less passive adults! 

Post # 144
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I remember when I was in kindergarten I would come home every day for weeks and weeks, upset and crying, not wanting to go to school the next day because an older boy (in Year 5 ) was picking on me. He would tease me, push me over, and take my school hat off me and put it in the middle of the school oval. At my primary schoole we had very strict rules on no hat, and if you were in the sun or on the oval without a hat you would get in trouble and go to detention! For 5 year old me, that was a big deal.

My mum would tell me to ignore it, tell the teachers and not let it upset me. Effectively ‘turn the other cheek”. After weeks of seeing me upset my dad had enough and took me aside one day and said “The next time, just punch him. Just once, but really hard. I’ll take care of the rest.” The next day, I punched him. My dad was called to the principals office and he took care of it. I never had trouble from him again.

I’m all for ‘turn the other cheek’ to a certain extent but I value in teaching your child to stand up for themselves. I’m totally anti-bullying but I couldn’t advocate my child being phycically violent with someone. Theres a very fine line, and for me it’s a bit blurry. I can see it become more blurry as I add my own children into the mix.

Post # 145
Member
854 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m torn on the subject.  It worked some of the time, other times, knives and guns were involved.  Even in the Jr. High schools I attended there were many kids who didn’t care if they lived or died let alone go to JH so walking away was your only option.  I guess it depends on your community the school. 

ETA: I was in middle school in the very early 1990s.

 

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