Post # 137
@MrsPuddingface: Well, look at you. Beating up grade 12s 😉 A lot of stories like this do happen. I understand a lot of PPs haven’t experienced them, but they happen. It’s unfortunate and I wish they didn’t occur because being a kid is hard enough at times (especially in high school). I spent part of my school years in Russia and it was better for us there. Nice old Canada was where a lot of bullying happened (I speak fluent English and have no accent, so I don’t think that’s why they singled my family out).
Post # 138
@Scc6a: No, no, that was just in general. If I thought you were an asshole, I’d probably say so 😛 Sorry for the misunderstanding. Sometimes text comes across differently than intended. Ah, how we’ve lost the art of in person communication as a result. Makes me sad. I better not start that rant though! Sorry 🙂
Post # 139
@MrsPanda99: no problem, I apologize for any misunderstanding here too. Text is a tricky thing 🙂
Post # 140
@MrsPanda99: It is unfortunate, but sometimes if you become a victim of one person, others see it as a weakness associated with you and feel it’s OK to exploit that weakness for themselves – I saw it happen a few times with a few kids who were perpetually bullied by more than one other kid. I was passive for a while, but enough was enough. My friends liken that experience to beating someone up on your first day in prison, that you either do it or spend your sentence being someone else’s “bottom”. I wasn’t the only one to benefit from garnering a reputation as a fighter – it filtered out through my close friends too (“if you touch her, Pudding will knock you out”).
As for your accent not being to blame….mine actually was. I moved to Canada from England the month before grade 8 began, and my English accent was the root cause of most of the mocking/comments I got from other kids, and was (I think) specifically why this girl picked me out of the crowd.
Post # 141
- Wedding: December 1969 - City, State
Neither Darling Husband or I are violent people, but we will definitely teach our kids to “fight back”.
My parents always told my older sister to turn the other cheek and be the bigger person, and she was bullied throughout school. When it came time for me and my brother to go to school, my parents knew better and told us “if someone hits you, hit them back”. So we did. For both of us, it only happened one time and no one bothered messing with us again.
I will also teach them that you can’t pick on others if you don’t expect it in return!
Post # 142
We will be teaching our kids that if someone hits them FIRST in a bullying, vicious manner, then to have at them. I was bullied as a child, mostly verbally, but if someone hit me I knew it was OK to fight back. Nothing is worse than a tattle tale, and wimping out or tattling could make the problem worse for the child.
I will also teach my child to talk about it, to us, to teachers, to whomever will be able to help them. No kid should suffer in silence.
Post # 143
@MrsPanda99: i totally agree. self defense all the way. it’s not teaching your child to be a bully or to pick fights, but rather to have the self confidence to stand up for themselves when they are being threatened or find themselves in a potentially in a harmful situation. bullies prey on weakness and always walking away or not standing up for yourself oftens gets you know bc, like you said, teenagers haven’t developed the same social skills that adults (should) have. Defending yourself verbally or physically teaches children strength and character later on in life. I think every child should have this. make for much less passive adults!
Post # 144
I remember when I was in kindergarten I would come home every day for weeks and weeks, upset and crying, not wanting to go to school the next day because an older boy (in Year 5 ) was picking on me. He would tease me, push me over, and take my school hat off me and put it in the middle of the school oval. At my primary schoole we had very strict rules on no hat, and if you were in the sun or on the oval without a hat you would get in trouble and go to detention! For 5 year old me, that was a big deal.
My mum would tell me to ignore it, tell the teachers and not let it upset me. Effectively ‘turn the other cheek”. After weeks of seeing me upset my dad had enough and took me aside one day and said “The next time, just punch him. Just once, but really hard. I’ll take care of the rest.” The next day, I punched him. My dad was called to the principals office and he took care of it. I never had trouble from him again.
I’m all for ‘turn the other cheek’ to a certain extent but I value in teaching your child to stand up for themselves. I’m totally anti-bullying but I couldn’t advocate my child being phycically violent with someone. Theres a very fine line, and for me it’s a bit blurry. I can see it become more blurry as I add my own children into the mix.
Post # 145
I’m torn on the subject. It worked some of the time, other times, knives and guns were involved. Even in the Jr. High schools I attended there were many kids who didn’t care if they lived or died let alone go to JH so walking away was your only option. I guess it depends on your community the school.
ETA: I was in middle school in the very early 1990s.
Post # 146
@inch85: I agree. I can’t stand passive people who just become the world’s doormat. I always stand up for myself and my family and I’ve been that way since I was old enough to talk. I’m sure that is largely due to the fact that my parents always taught it was okay, and even a positive thing, to make sure that we took care of ourselves. I can’t stand bullying and I’d never advocate that.
One of my nieces was starting some bullying tendencies and I taught her that if she doesn’t like someone, she has to ignore that person and that she has no right to be mean to anyone. She has started ignoring the girl in question and I’d much rather her do that than join the rest of her classmates in teasing the poor kid. UGH. I hate how mean kids are sometimes.
Post # 147
@CARA1978: That’s a good point. If defending yourself would cause you more harm than running would, then RUN. I didn’t consider that side of it. It is very hard to defend against a gun, unless you too have a gun…and I’d rather schoolyards didn’t become battlefields (more than they already are).