(Closed) If the bride sent you this how would you feel?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hhhmmmmmm…… nhonestly I think I’d feel a bit put off. It comes off like a business plan an if Inwere in your bridal party I would think… “wow, this is going to be a lot of work’. Others may completely disagee.

Post # 4
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

In all honesty, it seems a tad intense–I would probably feel put off. Can’t you just have a laugh with them and sneak the information into the conversation instead of having a business meeting? 

Post # 5
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wow you are organized!  To be completely honest, though, it’s overly formal – I would feel uncomfortable if I got this email. Your bridal party should already know your email and cell phone number, right?  Having that within the text of hte email seems unneccessary and makes me think of something I’d get from a supervisor at work. I think if you lightened the tone a little bit, and just focused on emailing them about the dresses (that seems to be the big concern) it would go over better. 

Post # 6
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with PPs–I think I would be a little overwhelmed by this. Is there a way to cut down your email and be more succinct? I’d identify a few key points (maybe two or three) and then state those as clearly, briefly, and kindly as possible. Also, maybe be less formal and business-like. As it reads, it doesn’t sound like this is written to a friend. I’d start with a few pleasantries, i.e. “Hey friend! How are you? It was so good to see you recently and talk about wedding stuff! I’m so thankful I have such amazing friends like you!” That way this won’t feel so intense and business-like. 

Post # 7
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@blingybride: I’m right there with you.

I’ll be honest…this reminds me of the minutes taken in a high school service club.  These are your friends, no?  I think you can be informal with them.  I’d be a little scared about whats to come after receiving this email.  

Why do the taller ladies have to wear flats?  I don’t think that’s a fair request.  One of my bridesmaids is 5’11” and she is wearing heels. 

Post # 8
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think letters like these are totally necessary. You want everyone on the same page, right? But i would rather they be in line items or bullets and not with ‘cute’ jokes thrown in. It can come off as a bit intense or passive aggressive. 

Maybe start with  a friendly note explaining what the note is about, pertinent info, and than a thank you for being the best besties a girl could ask for (and for coming over the other day) 

Post # 9
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Wow, if I got this from someone I was giving my time and money to to stand up in their wedding, I would have to reconsider. Your bridal party is not a group of coworkers or a client whom you need to send “meeting minutes” to. I realize wrangling a bunch of people with differing opinions and levels of commitment can be a pain (believe me, I’m in the middle of it), but at the end of the day they are doing it FOR YOU. Granted, we don’t know the full history of this story, but IMO this is a bit more harsh than necessary.

Post # 11
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I just talk to my girls… I don’t really understand the need for something like this but then again you may have a big bridal party and it’s a way to get things organised, just doesn’t seem really personal or polite with all the ‘as discussed’ comments

Post # 12
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would feel like my boss had just sent me an e-mail where he was unsuccessfully trying to seem friendly but was failing miserably. Particularly the shoes part, that would totally rub me the wrong way. And the part about the meeting would just make me laugh – but not in a good way more in a, “Omg, she is going off the bridal deep end…what have I gotten myself into?” kind of way. I wouldn’t send it. A casual, “Hey girls, did you get a chance to check out those websites we talked about for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses? Let me know if you guys see anything you like!” would be fine. Sending an e-mail that makes them sound like employees is not.

 

Edit: If the taller girls already said they’d feel more comfortable in flats, I don’t see the need to mention that in the e-mail. And I don’t think you need to hint that you didn’t like the DB dresses – just tell them. But tell them in a way you would have a normal conversation with your friends, not like a boss rejecting a business proposal.

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