If the in-laws think you don't visit enough?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 31
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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Mlim :  Oh ok that makes more sense then. You mention she is a pretty good Mother-In-Law but honestly if she is going to your SIL and Father-In-Law and accusing you of taking her son away that doesn’t sound like good Mother-In-Law behavior. Does she try to foster any sort of relationship with you? I see you mention she asks your husband to go grab food with her does she ever try to foster a relationship with you being you are the person her son is going to marry and you will he her dil? 

I agree with the others that it’s best when you get a PM or a text about how you are keeping your fiance from his mom to say I’m sorry but (fiance’s Name) is a grown man and it is up to him who he chooses to spend his time with please contact (fiance’s Name) if you want to speak to him about any issues with him and then ignore any other messages trying to bait you regarding that particular issue. But really it is up to your fiance to put a stop to the behavior. 

Post # 33
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

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Mlim :  Honestly, sounds like she’s having some wedding bell blues Mother-In-Law edition. 

We are very close with my in-laws like live 2 mins down the road from them. Before we got married, we didn’t live together so we would frequently just be at their house and do family things. Tbh, DH didn’t have a lot of “us” things at that point except date nights, going over to our friends house’s, etc. so I think that set us up for Mother-In-Law thinking nothing would change when we got married, got busy with our own stuff at our own house, etc. 

DH is MIL’s baby boy. He’s the oldest, but they are close. Thankfully, its never been boundary stomping in any major way that we couldn’t handle but she did have times were we wouldn’t talk or see his family for a week, like wouldn’t see them Mon-Fri. When we did see them at some point over the weekend she would make a passive comment like, “OMG, its been so long since I’ve seen you, I miss you guys.” I come from a family who only got together for things like birthdays, holidays, etc so I was like geez, its been literally like 5 days woman. 

We had those comments frequently after we got married and got busy with our newlywed bliss and lives. DH went to dinner with his mom and had a good heart-to-heart and she knocked it off quickly. 

I just wanted to share that teeny story to tell you, I feel like this may stem from a “I’m loosing my baby” moment because getting married hits a parent a lot harder than it does just say, dating for a few years. Marriage is a big thing and lives change because of it, so she could be having a hard time expressing how much this milestone is also going to effect her. 

ETA: not on your MILs “side” at all, OP. Just sharing some perspective 🙂 

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