(Closed) If the invitation does not say “and guest…” (spinoff)

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: The invitation is addressed to... Your Name
    Assume you may bring a date and fill in someone's name (plus yours) in the blank provided : (10 votes)
    5 %
    Assume you may not bring a date and fill in your name only : (164 votes)
    81 %
    Call the bride and beg/ask if you could bring a date : (18 votes)
    9 %
    Believe you can bring a date, but don't because you don't have anyone you want to bring : (0 votes)
    (the inevitable other) : (6 votes)
    3 %
    New: believe you cannot bring a date, and don't go : (5 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I would attend alone. No questions asked.

    Post # 4
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m curious to see the results, but you are asking a board of wedding ‘experts’ we know the policy.

     

    If you took a sample of 100 guys on a football message board I think the results would be quite different.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    i would look at the invite and think oh im going solo and then suck it up and hope she seats me somewhere where i wouldnt feel like a leper

    Post # 7
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think the opinion here is a bit biased because we all now know from our planning process what the correct etiquette answer is. Unfortunately I think a lot of people assume that a date is a given when invited to a wedding even though it only has their name on the envelope. These people are single therefore have not been thru all the wedding do’s and don’ts. I just don’t think it occurs to people that is why it only says their name. I think it’s best to give another “hint” on the rsvp card where you can say how many seats are reserved.

    Post # 8
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    pinkb, why all the hints?  why not just say it.  I know that isn’t easy, but it has to be easier than dealing with what joy is now dealing with.

     

    I think this poll will have about 2/3rds who knew what you meant

    I think the poll on the football board would be under 50% who knew what you meant

    Post # 9
    Member
    1199 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Ok so I have only been on this site a little over a month but this happened to FH last year.  We were not engaged but were living together and he got invited to an Out of Town wedding (ie a plane ride was required) but no +1.  He called the groom (his close college friend) and asked if I could come.  I don’t think the guy knew we were living together.  I guess FH put him on the spot, but he did agree and I did go.  When I met them at the wedding, the bride a groom made a point to say “oh, you’re living together?”  Now that I’ve seen all of the issues/horrors I guess they must have been annoyed…but still, with a live-in serious girlfriend he was going to fly to a wedding by himself?  And yes, I know he could have just declined and not gone as well.

    Post # 10
    Member
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    When I was in a serious relationship I was never invited without a guest but I might have assumed one was included? I honestly don’t know. I would never have gone to a wedding without my now-fiance. If I was completely single (no boyfriend) I think I would have assumed it was just for me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @megbon12: What do you mean just say it? I think it would be considered very rude to put on the invite “no guest” rather than put on the rsvp card we reserved 1 seat for you. I believe in her situation now she needs to just tell him but IMO it would have been easier to include an rsvp card that gave more info rrather than assume all people know wedding etiquette.

    Post # 12
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m sure a lot of people would love to come alone, but, again my opinion, that should be their call.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @Stammie16: Seriously. I had something similair happen with my cousin. She had a 300+ person wedding, and since I live at home, I received an invite with just my name and my parents received their own invitation. I thought I could bring my Fiance even though they havent met but after I send out the response card i received an email that I could not. I thought it was rude that she expected me to come alone, when I have a SO, especially for the extravagance of the event. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    92 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I was just invited to a wedding of a college friend and only my name was on the invite.  I’ve been dating Mr.Lite for longer then I’ve know this friend, but assumed since it was only my name on the invite, it was only me who was invited.

    What do the etiquette fairies say about that, I wonder?

    Post # 15
    Member
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    These days, I would honestly think it very strange not to be invited with Mr. E. and call to clarify whether the invitation was intended to extend to both of us. I wouldn’t have any issues attending by myself, if that were the case, but I’d hate to have it be a disappointment that he didn’t attend because we thought he wasn’t invited and didn’t take the time to clarify.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I wish my guests felt the same way as the rest of this poll…I’ve had to explain the “no guests” policy several times already.

    The topic ‘If the invitation does not say “and guest…” (spinoff)’ is closed to new replies.

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