(Closed) if u had to do it all over what would u have done different?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would have worried less and enjoyed it more because in hindsight most of the stuff I worried about never happened or didn’t matter in the end and it was just wasted energy. 

Easier said than done because when you are in the wedding trenches it’s so hard to see clearly, but taking a few breaths, slowing it down and really relaxing into it would have been great. 

(please note I loved my wedding and had an amazing weekend – I am talking about the planning stage). 

Post # 4
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I was sooo stressed out, and then everything was PERFECT. I would not do one single thing differently. But we kep the wedding simple and kept the bridal party small – maybe that’s why it went so smoothly!

Nerves/stress is normal though. It will all go away when you get to that altar.

Post # 5
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would have made SURE that EVERYONE knew 2 things:

1.) BRIDAL PARTY & ALL GROOMSMEN & ALL MAIN FAMILY MEMBERS need to STAY PUT after the ceremony since they will be involved in pictures!! TELL THESE PEOPLE WHO THEY ARE!


WE LOST one of our groomsmen before we were announced into the reception. It really stressed me out and it was such BS

Post # 6
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

All the stresses you feel right now are totally normal and when the big day comes, its like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders and for the first time any many months, you really dont have to do a THING but have a great time and be yourself. Its such a nice relief! Plus, its such a joy to see your vision for your wedding come to life.

That being said, the things I would do different is:

– plan a bit more time for pictures. They took much longer then I thought.

-Hire a DOC (day of coordinator) to tie up the loose ends. A DOC probably could have prevented or solved many of my wedding day’s little issues.

-ditto on what stephanieastronouat said on her point #1. none of my family realized they needed to be in pics and wandered off and had to be located. 

Post # 7
539 posts
Busy bee

I would not have accepted any help my FI’s mom offered, and I mean ZERO help! She has made this wedding into hers, and into more than we ever really wanted. And if something doesn’t go her way, or we don’t agree with it, we have to listen to her whine until we just give up, and let her have her way. And if we don’t agree with her she threatens to yank her $. And with less than 2 weeks until the wedding, we are kind of locked into the vendors she had to have, and my Fiance and I cannot cover the costs since we ourselves are paying for 1/3 of the wedding. I know I will love our wedding day, but I wish she wasn’t involved in any of the planning. But now I know to never accept her offered help for anything.

Post # 8
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

1. I would have walked myself down the aisle rather than have my dad walk me. We never had a good relationship and now we’re estranged.

2. No father/daughter dance

3. I would have kept my recessional song instead of changing it last minute. This still bothers me.

4. I would have gone ahead and made my own cupcakes. I wasn’t that pleased with the ones ordered.

5. I would have chosen a dress I wanted over traditional. My mom flipped out when I didn’t want to wear white. I wanted black or silver or light blue. I should have gone for it. (Note: I loved my dress and it was pretty. I don’t regret wearing it, but it wasn’t really ‘me’. I just wish I would have stood my ground on some things.)

Post # 9
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

On my wedding day I was so happy to see how all of our planning paid off. The wedding was perfect and we are so happy the way it turned out but there are a couple of things I would do differently.

1) I wouldn’t have had an extra hour. My husband was so excited that the party was finally here that he got the DJ to get everyone dancing by salad (7:30) so by 10:30 everyone was exhausted and we had the venue until 12:00. I had so much anxiety that everyone was drained and our wedding was still going on.

2) I wouldn’t have done a coreographed dance. I got so nervous the second we stepped on the dance floor that I forgot everything and out first dance consisted of my husband walking me through the dance and teaching me lol.

3) I don’t think I would have done the garter and bouquet toss. Since the dance floor was packed until 10:30 they waited until 10:45 to do these and people seemed just ready to sit and have a drink or dessert at this time and not many people participated.

Post # 10
4 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wouldnt have had my sister as the maid of honor.

Post # 11
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I would have worn more comfy shoes.

Post # 12
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would have worn my wedding shoes day in and day out for the weeks leading up to the wedding. Silly me thought I could just do it on the day and I couldn’t.

I would have insisted that my Mother-In-Law took photos with Darling Husband. There isn’t a single photo of just the two of them together and the reason she gave us for not wanting to take photos on the day was total BS.

I would have ordered more food and instead of worrying that people weren’t happy at the reception I would have just talked to whomever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I ended up being so torn around by different groups of people wanting to know different things I didn’t enjoy a lot of our reception and that makes me sad.

Post # 13
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m your date twin, so I’m not married yet, but I’m right there in the trenches of planning and stress with you. Right now my sweetie and I say that if we could have done anything different, we’d have eloped and had a big party after. It was our original thought to have a small wedding at a bed and breakfast we love. It ended up too far away for most of our family members to come (and WAY too expensive). However, we could have had a small “elopement” with parents included there, and then a reception/party elsewhere with everyone. Hindsight is 20 20! I’m sure our planned park ceremony/reception will be lovely, however, even though it’s a lot of stress right now. The photography will be stunning the the catering rocks. I just have to keep taking deep breaths and get through the next…19 days.

Post # 14
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

1. Not invited husband’s tennis pals (he was on the fence too- they were out of control. Vomit everywhere, cigars in pool, food fight, etc..)

2. Not involved in law buisness with rentals

3. Refined our color palette. I left it up to my husband because I couldn’t choose.

4. Made my brother Maid/Matron of Honor in lieu of my sister who was a unbelieveable.

5. Calmed down.

6. Called an ambulance when husband’s friend’s fiance became violently drunk. I sat with her for three-four hours while she passed out and vomited all over (this was after puking on me on the dance floor). My husband and I drove her home at 4 a.m. that night (2 hour drive). We should have sent her to the hospital to sober up.


Post # 15
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

hahahaha! Love this post! Okay, here goes, time to vent/share a little: 

1.  would have let hubby’s bf who thinks he’s ELVIS sing a whole lot more Elvis songs cause the dance floor rocked and even allowed him to wear his white and gold pants suit!

2.  would have gone like 70% candids/30% posed on the photos CAUSE I DID ALL CANDIDS AND WISH I HADN’T;

3.  wish I had a diff. best friend (not dyslexic?) place my seating cards so one of the main L o n g rectangular tables didn’t have the guests completely swapped around after all that time I’d put in arranging it!

4.  might have tried for a third wedding dress (loved mine, I THINK!) cause I may have liked a softer, fluffier looking skirt part;

5.  would have stuck with doing some of the more traditional things like we’d planned, i.e. first dance, cake cutting, bouquet toss — but honestly, the party/reception was rocking (huge NYC loft, beautiful night, penthouse terrace and all) and we decided to skip all that (duh)!

6.  MIGHT have shortened my personal vows and toast…

but the rest (even my satin high heels) went off without a hitch.  I mean, we got hitched without a hitch, and hubby’s first words when he got me off to the side were “Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you!” I can only hope – for marrying him!

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