(Closed) If we're being honest…

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
688 posts
Busy bee

Not shallow. 🙂 It seems like a lot of women pick out or help pick out their ring nowadays. So many that it’s a little surprising to me tbh! I sent my SO my pinterest board with about 5 or so rings pinned to give him “ideas” but to still leave it in his hands. I want to steer him in the right direction while still letting him do the final deciding and have that element of surprise whenever he decides it is time. 

Post # 3
Member
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Fiance always said he does not understand guys who insist on wanting the ring to be a surprise, or that they pick it out. He said my happiness was (is) the most important thing and that means making sure getting exactly what I want so why wouldn’t he want/take my input?! All other huge financial/emotional decisions are made together why is this one different? Marrige is no longer about the guy vs the girl it’s about starting your life as a team, picking a ring/talking about it together is the first step on that path. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  BWLE.
Post # 5
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

Not shallow at all! Honestly, I see nothing wrong with picking exactly what you want for a ring. It can still be special and a surprise when it happens. You’re the one who will be wearing it every day. (I am also from the South.)

I would think some men would be thrilled if their girlfriends just told them exactly what they wanted and took the pressure off. He knows that she’ll be happy ahead of time, so all he has to worry about is the moment.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  misspixel.
Post # 7
Member
4019 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I had the best of both worlds. I showed my then boyfriend (now husband) several different rings I liked. I knew I really wanted a rectangular shape, but I left the setting mostly up to him. He had a general idea of what I liked and ended up choosing the perfect ring. He was way too nervous to spend that much money on something I wouldn’t completely love. He did tell me that had it been up to him he’d have gone with a round solitaire because he likes the classic style of it. 

Post # 8
Member
747 posts
Busy bee

I picked 3 that I like and he is choosing one of those 3.  It will still be a surprise and I get a ring I’ll love.

Post # 9
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: An amazing castle. August 2015

We had my ring custom made and I chose everything from the setting design to the peekaboo diamonds to the centre diamond as I was very specific in what I wanted and was conscious of wearing it for the rest of my life. But in hindsight, I really wish I’d have picked maybe 3/4 different designs and ideas and let my fiancé have the final say. I’m going to do a bit of that for my anniversary band, I have chosen the style but i’ll be letting him decide on the stones he wants to put in.  

Post # 11
Member
3229 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I wanted to pick out my own ring completely by myself.  However DH wanted to play a part in the process, so we compromised.  I have specific taste and so does DH.  Those two usually are very different and do not mix.  First I wasn’t sure what I wanted so we went to jewelry stores together.  Our taste were completely different.  Eventually I picked four or five wedding sets on a website and he choose which one he liked best.  

Post # 12
Member
768 posts
Busy bee

My Fiance picked out the diamond (specs, size, etc) and I picked the setting. I guess it was the best of both worlds 🙂

Post # 14
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I’m torn as well. I’m in the process of getting a ring. As I never really had one. I got an engagement ring from DH when I was 18 but it got stolen a few years later. Ever since we’ve been married I have been wearing a plain rose gold band. I love it actually, but I do want something a little more…pretty? Haha. Anyway DH is very involved in picking this ring because I want some of that sentiment. 

He purchased my engagement all on his own. I had no clue of anything and never really specified what kind of ring I wanted. I don’t think. I may have said I wanted princess cut. I don’t quite remember. Anyway, back then, it wasn’t my cup of tea. It was a nice ring, platinum with a princess cut and then baguettes on the sides. I never liked it all that much and really thought I wanted to pick my own ring. We almost did a few times but never went through with it. Funny thing, I used to think I wanted something bigger, something flashier, and now I could get whatever I want (within reason) and I really want something small, dainty, and understated. Funny how time works. Anyway, NOW, if I could, I would take that first ring back in a heartbeat over “my dream ring”. Now that I’m older I much prefer sentiment over desire. I would love to have that ring that he chose for me back. 

Post # 15
Member
6576 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
Mrs.Mars:  We dont do surprises 😉 I just dont find the value in them. So yes, I chose my ring(s) and am happy I did!

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