(Closed) If we're being honest…

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 91
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I picked it out with him. He said he needed my help and I am the one who showed him a similar style to the one he ultimately picked. I wanted a plain halo tacori ring but he liked the extra jazz of side diamonds, so I got the center halo I wanted and he got the side diamonds on the same rings. Initially, I was worried about the side diamonds falling out and the price increase but he liked the look better and didn’t worry about a budget, and I found myself falling in love with it too. I have my dream ring because of this compromise!

Post # 92
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

It is not shallow to pick out the ring that you would love. That is what we did. I knew exactly the ring I wanted & we chose the diamond together that was in his budget. He pretty much did the rest of the work & still managed to surprise me. There is nothing wrong with trying to help him get the right one for you, it will be something you will wear for the rest of your life.

Post # 93
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
Mrs.Mars:  For me, I wanted to pick it out myself…and I am so glad I did. Whenever we are talking about jewelry, and he shows me what he would have selected for me, I shudder. He has completely different tastes that, though he is trying to buy something he thinks that I like, cloud his judgment of what he thinks I like

So, I picked out my e-ring and wedding band, and have never regretted the way it worked. He hid the ring and still surprised me massively when he proposed. I don’t hold picking out an e-ring as a worthwhile standard or measure to show that he “knows” me. 

Post # 94
Member
1771 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Chose mine. Way too much of a control freak especially for something I would wear for the rest of my life. 

Post # 95
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

I totally understand.  At first i didnt care much but since i have been looking at rings i really hope he gets one i will love. My SO is very old fashioned and will not let me pick a ring. He wants to do it all on his own. While i trust his judgement and would be so happy that he did it on his own i am scared out of my mind that i wont like it. My fingers are small so small diamonds are fine but not too small where i cant tell…lol and i dont like solitare rings. I want lots of sparkle. …but i cant have this conversion with SO. Ive tried sending links and also posting rings i like on my fb. I think hes paying attention but not really. I dont really wanna pick it per say but i do want him to be interested in what “I” want.

Post # 96
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I told FL I wanted simple and elegant. In the past I’ve shown him round solitaire, but he surprised me in December with this! He choose the diamond himself and went with a Tiffany setting

 

Post # 97
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

Chose my ring and so happy with it 😀

Post # 98
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I loved the fact that the proposal and the ring that came with it were a complete surprise. It will always be special because it came from him.

I do not think I would use the word shallow. But I do wonder sometimes. If the woman wants essentially to pick her own ring, why does the guy get stuck paying the full cost?

Also, it seems that if jewelry is really important to a woman, why not save money and buy herself the ring of her dreams even if there is no man in her life?

Post # 99
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I asked my love to show me examples online of what he wanted to buy…. and then I steered him on the right track. I try but I’m a bit of a control freak. Lol

Post # 100
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I think it depends on how much the style matters to you. I am VERY picky about what jewelry I wear. He wanted to pick it out and make it a surprise- but he also knows I’m particular and so he told me to pick out a ring and show him.  . He then told me my ring was too spendy and we discussed a pricepoint. I looked all over but really that was the one that I just couldn’t stop thinking about. . . So I told him they make the same ring but in a half carat – and I would still love it- and its half the price which falls JUST over the price he gave me -but not out of this world.  – It doesn’t look disappointing -because its a double halo. I can always upgrade to the one I really love later on- but at least I would have the style and quality that I adore. I have no idea when he will buy it- I just know he knows my ring size and where to get it along with a photo of the exact style. 

– I know whenever he chooses to propose, it will be perfect and a surprise-. And I will be thrilled – he will be excited- and I will also have the ring I really adore. The fact I chose the ring I prefer will not take any of the sentiment or meaning away from it to me. — He isn’t a RING person – he would never choose anything I like anyway LOL. 

It was funny today – he was talking on the phone to a real estate agent cause we are house hunting for our new home – and he told her I was his fiance. . .and I was like open mouth quietly saying WHAAAT?! LOL and I pointed at my ring finger hahahaha !!! 

Post # 101
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

My husband insisted I help him pick out my ring because he “could not be trusted with something so important” lol. I think it worked out for the best for so many reasons – I am picky about jewelry, he loves that I love my ring so much and I ended up choosing something fairly significantly less expensive than he would have chosen on his own. 

Post # 102
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I picked my ring. I have VERY particular taste and we both knew this was the best way to make sure I have a ring I’ll be happy with for the rest of my life. 

Post # 103
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
Mrs.Mars:  NOPE! he just told me he always imagined me with an emerald cut and I did the rest. Showed him options and he ultimately picked out mine with me. It’s perfectly me and perfectly him. if we’re also being honest lol, some rings my friends husbands picked out I’m like “awwww good for you” lol. 

Post # 104
Member
558 posts
Busy bee

I love the idea of choosing together. The whole point of engagement is binding your lives together  – it makes sense to start with a joint decision. There are plenty of other times one’s SO can independently choose jewelry as a surprise – birthdays, holidays, etc. But something that symbolizes a mutual commitment, and that I will wear every day? It makes so much sense to me to be a part of that choice. Being surprised is sweet but I am picky and practical!

Post # 105
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
bananafairy:  Then why not pay together?

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