(Closed) If we're being honest…

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 106
Member
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

It is not shallow.  My DH won’t even let me pick him out pants without his ok, lol.  So a ring, that you are going to wear forever, or for a long time anyway, you should love!  I have picked out al my jewelery from DH… less one thing.  A pendant, that guess what?  I never wear…  so I love it cause he gave it to me, and will always keep it, but I am sure my DDs will get more use out of it in their teenage years.

Post # 107
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

We’re old school. DH bought my ring with my knowledge or help. The proposal was a complete surprise to me.

Post # 108
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My Fiance usually knows what I like, we went ring shopping together so he knew what size of ring and style I liked, but ultimately he picked out a certain ring and after he chose it I couldn’t even think of looking at another because it was the perfect ring for me. So in a way I was involved, but ultimately he did choose it. I also let him have free reign on choosing the center stone. TBH if I had chosen the stone I would have gotten a little better clarity, but I love what he got me and find it very special to tell people he picked it out himself.

Post # 109
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

You are not shallow at all! Many women pick out their ring, as for me, I know how special my ring is and what it symbolizes and that was enough for my fiance. He wanted me to pick my own ring and let him know exactly what I wanted. And that was exactly what I did, if you want to, you could pick several rings you love and have him choose out of those rings so in the end he still chooses it himself.

Post # 110
Member
3108 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

My SO likes surprises a lot but he also knows that I’m particular so he has asked me what kind of styles I like and I’ve been giving him ideas but he will make the ultimate decision based on budget and what he likes too and when he pops the question will definitely be a surprise. Best of both worlds for us.

Post # 111
Member
207 posts
Helper bee

I wish Fiance would have been able to pick a ring for me on his own…or with a bit of guidance…but he just isn’t good at that sort of thing. He wanted me to have what I wanted so he gave me a budget and let me pick it myself.

Now for Valentines day he got me an amethyst necklace and he knew I would like it because it was amethyst, but as to picking an e-ring, he was clueless and araid of messing it up. 

 

 

Post # 112
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

I am not engaged yet, but I picked my ring. SO loved the idea of getting me exactly what I want, and it’s the proposal of marriage that I am sentimental about- not the ring. 

But for Christmas and birthday presents we usually pick our own gifts too. I would never want to pick something super important to him without any of his input. So luckily we are on the same page 🙂

Post # 113
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
Mrs.Mars: My now husband and I started looking at rings when we were together for about 3 years. He would have me show him the things I liked and he would say okay, and then basically forget or think that I liked different aspects of too many rings.

After almost 5 years together, he asked me if I wanted to just get it done custom so I could have EXACTLY what I wanted. Obviously I jumped at the chance and contacted David Klass right away and started my design.

So he wanted the pressure to be off of himself to get the ring right, and I wanted the perfect ring, so picking it out/designing it myself was my dream and I was able to get exactly what I wanted.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  MissJulianna.
Post # 114
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Rocky Mountains-May 2017

View original reply
Mrs.Mars:  I think it’s fine. You like what you like. Me and my SO are basically planning on him proposing with a simple temp ring so that way I can still be suprised and then we’ll pick out the real deal together 😀

Post # 115
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I am such a control freak and I’m so unbelievably fussy, I made it very clear to now-FI that I wanted to choose my own ring – on a side note, I also don’t really understand the whole ‘get the ring then wait for a proposal’ thing. To me, the agreement to marry is the proposal then the ring is just a symbol of this so, surely, if you’re ring shopping, you’re already engaged? That always confuses me lol – Anyway, back to the original question, Fiance took me completely by surprise proposing (without a ring) and we then got one custom made. It’s so perfect, i feel like building the ring together is symbolic of the life we are building together 🙂

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  SellyJo.
Post # 116
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I told my fiance early on in the relationship that I always wanted a surprise proposal if I ever got married. About two years later he pulled off a surprise proposal, complete with a ring!

Since I didn’t see the proposal coming, I didn’t have any input on the ring he chose. Then again, I’m a really indecisive person when it comes to things like jewelry, clothes (and wedding dresses, apparently!). So, I’m a little glad that my fiance picked the ring. And, since I love being surprised, it worked for me. And I lucked out in that he got a style that I really like!

That being said, after we got engaged my fiance said that we could always return to the store and pick out a new band if I didn’t like the one he chose (the store he bought it in had a pretty good return/exchange policy). I didn’t take him up on his offer, because I really liked the band and the sentiment behind it.

However, I don’t think it’s being too picky or anything if you want to go to the store yourself to pick out a band. The vast majority of my engaged/married friends did exactly that! You’re going to be wearing the ring for a loooong time. Might as well make sure it’s one that you love.

Post # 117
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

DH picked mine out on his own, and I’m glad he did. I’m cheap, I would’ve lost my mind if I had to face the pricetag of my ring.  It’s not that he didn’t have the money; he’d been saving, knowing he wanted to go the traditional route, and he knew what he was getting into.  It’s just that I’m really bad at big-ticket purchases, even when we’ve plainly got the money. I choke when I try to spend more than a couple hundred bucks on any one item.  He knew he wanted to buy me a ring in a certain price range, and he knew I’d never let him if he were to take me with him shopping, and that I’d get something I didn’t love just to keep the price down.

So he went by himself, spent the money, and bought the ring.  He kept it pretty simple; afterward, he said he wasn’t sure if I would’ve liked a more ornate setting, so that’s why he went with a straightforward 3-stone.  That was a good bet; I like some of the ornate settings, but I’m very, very picky about them.  Simple was safe.

And I love it and what it represents.  I added a wedding band made from my grandmother’s diamonds, and it’s a great set with lots of sentimental value.  I wouldn’t change a thing.

Post # 118
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

He didn’t ask with a ring but we shopped together the next day. So got a diamond solitare but my husband since got me a lovely marquis tanzantite that he picked which I swap now and then so I had both. However I am glad he asked without a ring and we picked it together x

Post # 119
Member
18 posts
Newbee

View original reply
Mrs.Mars:  I dont think it’s shallow at all. You are the one who has to wear it every day, and you should love it! A ring is a large investment and it would be a waste to spend all that money on something you don’t really like. My fiance and I picked out my ring together and it was a fun process for both of us. 

Post # 120
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Cherry Orchard

Not shallow! My Fiance proposed with a plain silver band (target ..sensible man) and told me i was going to pick out/design my own ring. He said that he wanted to make sure i’d love to wear it everyday. Honestly, thank goodness he went this route–i ended up choosing a black diamond solitaire..not exactly what they push at the jewelers! haha

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