(Closed) If you are in doubt

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

ugh, you hear this *SO* many times. They’re having doubts pre-wedding but go through with it anyway because of familial expections, other peoples’ opinions, vendor contracts……don’t do it if you aren’t 100% sure!

Post # 5
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Because you don’t realize until like, 3 days before the wedding that this is not going to work.

And then you tell yourself it’s cold feet.  And that he is a great guy, and you are a lucky girl.  So you go through with it, and you try like hell to make it work, but it just won’t.

Post # 6
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t call someone who gets married even when they have doubts, “stupid.”  It is easy to get caught up in the whole idea of marriage and the idea that someone has “picked” you. And the feeling that “it’s too late now to call it off.”  It sucks.. but it happens to smart people. 

However, I do know a few people who called off their weddings upon the realization that it was the wrong situation for them, and I find them to be so, so brave.  

Post # 7
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Oh, also because, before the wedding, everytime something BIG came up, we compromised.  Then after the wedding, the compromises fell apart.

Post # 8
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s probably not always as simple as she makes it out – they were completely incompatible and dated five months before getting married! I think this would be more applicable if there were subtle things that changed over time, because I think it’s rare that people get married in the same whirlwind that she did. I don’t know, it seems obvious to me that they shouldn’t have gotten married, but this is written in hindsight. 

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