(Closed) if you are NOT offended by the "bridal/dollar dance"

posted 6 years ago in Pittsburgh
Post # 3
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am also part Croatian 🙂 Every wedding I go to they have also done the dollar dance. No one is forcing them to dance with the bride/groom, they do it for fun and like you said tradition. Also, since its a tradition in your family, no one will take it offensive, they would enjoy it so who cares what anyone else thinks 🙂

Post # 4
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

And I just noticed your getting married on my birthday! Yay! 🙂 lol

Post # 5
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

my opinion?  It’s not the 1800’s, brides are not being sold to their husbands, and most couples are either already living together or well on their way.  People give money as gifts for the most part.  There’s showers, stag and does, engagement parties, etc, etc, etc…how much do your guests need to give?  Even though you say it’s not mandatory to put money in the bag, people would feel awful if they don’t, and sometimes seeing others put in $100’s and all they have are $1’s, it can make your guests feel bad….

Post # 6
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

For us, every wedding I have been to in MN has had a dollar dance. I see nothing wrong with it. Our wedding we had a dollar dance both my husband and I particpated in it. 

Post # 7
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It is not a heritage thing for our family, but it still seems to happen at all the weddings. Typically the bride and groom do not plan it and a relative requests the DJ announce it.  I’m not planning one for our wedding, but I wouldn’t be shocked if a certain set of cousins pull out the bag. 

Post # 8
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I actually kind of like it at weddings because it gives you a chance to talk to the couple 1-on-1 for a minute or two, which is something you might not otherwise get. And its not like you have to give a lot. Or at all, if you don’t want to/don’t have cash.

Post # 9
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@smcs28:  You don’t have to participate! Its awful to tell someone to do away with there cultural traditions.  I think the dance is tons of fun and gives a bride a chance to dance with all of her guests.

Post # 10
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

DO IT!

I didn’t for this very reason, and my family was extremely confused..When I tried to explain why I didn’t have one to my aunts..I think i ended up offending them..since they all did it…

If it is part of your family traditions..then no one will be offended…

A far as only giving a $1 as opposed to $100…you don’t mark the bills or anything..no one knows who gives what…therefore, no one should feel bad…

 

 

I just went to a friends wedding that had one..it allows for a private moment with each guest..as well as a shot at the end of the dance..I don’t understand why anyone would be offended really……it is seriously a $1

 

Post # 11
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Katnisseverdeen:  I get yoiu don’t HAVE to participate…

Have any of these bee’s who have seen this been the “poor person” at the wedding?  Anything to do with money makes it difficult and you feel like everyone is staring at you when you DON’T participate or give the right amount/item…..I just see it from THAT point of view and how crappy it feels….

Post # 12
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Every wedding I’ve been to, including my own, has the bridal dance. Someone’s ALWAYS going to be offended no matter what you do. If you’re offended as a guest, just don’t participate, and head on over to the cash-bar, or the open bar, or the non-alcoholic mash-potato bar, which probably offends you too! Ok, ok, I’ll stop. My point is, that you can’t please everyone. If you want to have your dollar dance, then have it. It is a valid tradition in many circles. Plus, it’s a blast.

Post # 13
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Don’t second guess your choices because of the opinon of a few.  Your family probably would  be offended if you did not incorporate this tradition into you reception.  At the end of they day these are the people who matter in your life.

Post # 14
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Stace126:  The difference is that jumping the broom and breaking the glass do not ask guests to open their wallets. Plus, you don’t have 50-100 guests sitting there bored for 15-20 minutes while you guys dance with a million people.

That said, you know your family and friends better than we do. If you think they’ll be hurt if you don’t do it, then do it. Don’t put a note in the invitations or have the DJ read a disclaimer. That’s simply drawing more attention to it.

You could have the DJ say something like, “And now we will move into the Money Dance, a tradition that has been in the bride’s family for many generations. The bride and groom would like to take this opportunity to spend time with each and every one of you as you dance to some of their favorite songs. Please do not feel obligated to drop money in the basket; your hugs and joy are gift enough. This is a symbol of their love for their family’s traditions and heritage.”

It doesn’t sound apologetic, and it lets people know this is a tradition your family embraces. I’ve heard similar announcements before the Hora and other traditions, made for the benefit of people who have no idea what’s going on.

Post # 15
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t quite get the level of offense people take at the dollar dance either, and I hadn’t ever heard of it until the bee. I think at the end of the day most bridal traditions have pretty sexist roots and we elect to ignore them because it’s become part of our traditions to have them, so I don’t see why we can’t extend the same thing to the dollar dance. No one is forced to participate so I really don’t see the problem.

Post # 16
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m also curious if the brides who do this for the “tradition and joy of sharing time with their guests” would be upset if the bag had no money in it at the end….

just food for thought…..

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