(Closed) If you can’t attend someone else’s wedding…

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Would you send a gift to a wedding you couldn't attend?
    Always. : (35 votes)
    34 %
    Depends, but I usually would. : (43 votes)
    42 %
    Depends, but I usually would not. : (23 votes)
    23 %
    Never. : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I was invited to a wedding across the country in May for an aquaintance. They are also having a home reception here in August. However, I decided not to attend either one. Reason being that this acquantance is a sort-of ex from years ago and i wouldn’t know anyone, etc. I ended up just sending them a gift off their registry.

    Had they not had a reception here though, i probably would have just sent a card. The couple will not be invited to my wedding.

    Post # 18
    Member
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    There have been several weddings at my church where I was invited simply because I have a “well known” family in the church.  I really didn’t know the person getting married and didn’t feel like spending my saturday dressed up.  For those. . . I didn’t send a gift.

    There’s been one wedding where I sent a gift even though I didn’t go.  It was someone I knew well, and would have liked to attend their wedding, but couldn’t because of travel.

    An invitation doesn’t equal a gift.  If it did, Mickey Mouse and the President would be sending out LOTS of gifts.

    Post # 19
    Member
    5976 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I always give a gift whether I can attend the wedding or not. If I get an invitation, I sort of feel obligated to send a congratulatory card and a little something inside.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1025 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I got invited to the wedding of a roommate I haven’t talked to in about 2-3 years. No falling out or anything, we just were never really good friends. I was pretty surprised I was invited to be honest, but I don’t think I’ll send a gift. Maybe it makes me a bad person, and one day when I’m out of grad school and can afford to send nice gifts to people I barely know, I will! 

    Post # 21
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I do the LARGE majority of the time.  Because most of the time if I’m invited to a wedding, it’s for someone I really care about and I want to congratulate them.  But  recently we were invited to a wedding for someone my husband worked with but barely knew.  The wedding was half way across the country from us and I’m sure they knew very well we couldn’t go.  The guy was handing out invites to anyone and everyone at their work place.  The couple was clearly trying to gift grab.  They had registry info all over their invite, yet the wedding reception was only going to be cake and a cash bar.  I decided not to play into their game since I don’t know them from Adam.  And my husband no longer works there so we’ll never see the guy again.

    Post # 22
    Member
    2530 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Well Ive never been invited to a wedding and not attended (just hasnt happened yet!) but I will say that all of the gifts we have received so far (besides shower gifts) have been from people who are not attending. And they are nice things!!! We have received a couple checks and several things from our registry all from those who will not be attending! Im glad these people decided to send a gift even though they arent coming 🙂

    Post # 23
    Member
    1732 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Yes, always send a gift.

    Post # 24
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We had a destination wedding & didn’t invite anybody….95% of the people we know got us gifts or money.  My work went insane…people my husband hasn’t seen in years sent us cards with gift cards etc…it was crazy.

    Post # 25
    Member
    13563 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Yes, I send gifts to the couple if I cannot attend their wedding.

    Post # 26
    Member
    1001 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Definitely depends on the person.  A good friend had a destination wedding and I couldn’t make it, and I sent a gift.  But once, I got invited to a wedding where I barely knew the person (like, had met twice) and I did not.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1001 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Oh, and out of the 40 “No” RSVPs, one couple sent us a gift.

    Post # 28
    Member
    5151 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Yes, I would always send something. What I would send would be what varied. I have been so touched by people who were invited but couldn’t attend and sent gifts, whether big or small.

    Post # 29
    Member
    431 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    @Bella Luna: WHOA -that’s in bad taste -you don’t invite someone to a shower and not the wedding!  Such obvious gift grubbing.  I would NOT have sent a gift!

    Post # 31
    Member
    431 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I usually send something ($50 or a registry gift), especially now that I am married.  It shocked me how generous people who couldn’t attend our wedding were!  It also shocked me how many people attended without so much as a card.

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