(Closed) If you could do it all again…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I regret some the aesthetic choices I made. Which in hindsight if that’s really the only thing I regret from the actual day, then I did pretty good.

But if I’m being really honest about the entire wedding process, deep down inside, I wish I would’ve considered elopement. I wish I would’ve spent TONS of money on a gorgeous dream gown, gotten my hair and makeup done and found a gorgeous location where it could’ve been me and Darling Husband and our immediate families (no way our parents wouldn’t witness our wedding). Then I would’ve just taken beyond gorgeous pictures at that location. We would’ve saved a ton of money and I would’ve gotten to make an excessive splurge on a dress 🙂 Except in my religion it’s not so cut and dry so I know this really wouldn’t have been a realistic option, but deep down I feel like maybe I could’ve made it work if I fought for it. 

Post # 4
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m not married yet, but I would have done things so differently. I would have had a longer engagement and spent more time familiarizing myself with my wedding likes and dislikes. I would have been more assertive in getting what I want.

Post # 5
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I also would not have spent so much money….1 day…26k…it just seems so crazy now. Esp since Darling Husband lost his job 2 weeks after our wedding. My day was amazing though…and beautiful and i get to spend the reso ofmy life with my best friend!

Post # 6
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m not married yet and I’m already wishing I could back up 6 months and not put up with Fiance dictating so much about the day. I would get rid of the bland colour scheme and have a rainbow coloured wedding. I’d not have any BM’s as i’m not really short on guests!

Post # 7
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My wedding isn’t till September, and I know it’s going to be wonderful, but in hindsight, we would have eloped to Vegas. Planning the wedding has become almost a full-time job for us, and all told, it’s expensive. I miss my money.

Post # 8
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am not married yet, but it is also too late for me to change what I have decided on. I decided on a destination wedding. I thought to do so to make things simple and save money. Also, to have it intimate. Well, I have a few friends who booked, and I believe that is all that is going. Not one of my family members is going. It is also hard to envison what the wedding will be like because I cannot see anything in person. I wish I just planned a smaller wedding here at home. 

Post # 9
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wish I had eloped.  I honestly do.  My wedding was beautiful and fun and it was nice having all our family and friends in one place, but I still think I would have been just as happy had I eloped.  That’s my advice to all newly engaged couples – consider elopement!

Post # 10
Member
307 posts
Helper bee

thanks for the advice everyone..the small intimate wedding/elopement seems like a theme! i was just thinking today about my huge fantasy dream wedding..then i realized wtf am i thinking – this is totally not reflective of me/us!? it’s great to hear everyone’s perspective hindsight is 20/20! keep it coming 🙂

Post # 11
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Fiance and I were both married before and both had a courthouse wedding/elopement style wedding. We both agreed that was a mistake and dedicated ourselves to having a bigger, more traditional wedding this time around. I think maybe the grass is always greener…?

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

we eloped and only 2 things i would change about our wedding. 

the time, 1pm on tropical beach is HOT and 2, i would have hired a photographer.  everything else was fun and relaxed and for us it was perfect

Post # 13
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was afraid I would feel like this, but I feel very lucky that I can look back on my day and say I wouldn’t change a thing. I didn’t want a big fuss, but just a little. We had a small 25 person wedding in my favorite location and even though there are little things we had to give up (like dancing and a church) it was absolutely perfect and we both look back and think that. I think it’s important to really thing about what you want and what all that entails before signing on the line.

Post # 14
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@star_dust:  We did what you said you wished you’d done, and we don’t regret it at all. I got the beautiful gown, my hair and makeup done, a beautiful location and an intimate ceremony for Darling Husband and me… We didn’t, however, have any family and friends present, but we wouldn’t change that, because deep down we really wanted it to just be the two of us.

 

There really isn’t anything I would have done differently for the wedding. Our wedding was beyond perfect and everything I wanted. It was just the two of us, and even though we got some flack from my mom, we’re glad we didn’t cave to her pressure and change our plans.

We had the reception eight months after the ceremony, and there are some things I would have done differently for that. But all of those things are inconsequential small things. 

Post # 15
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Gosh, this seems totally stupid and vane, but I really wish I’d had someone pack me a curling iron.  My hair was down and all the curls fell out when we were taking pictures outside (in the 90 degree sun and 100% humidity).  My hair looks a mess in several of the pictures at the reception 🙁  Don’t know when I would’ve had the time though…

Other than that, maybe I would’ve picked different colors – I picked some before I’d even spent much time looking at wedding stuff and then felt like was stuck with them.  

I also would’ve made my expectations clearer to my bridesmaids.  They were all from out of town and so I wasn’t expecting to/didn’t have their help for anything leading up to the wedding but I assumed they would just be around to help with whatever once they got to town the Thursday before our Saturday wedding.  Instead almost everyone made plans to do other things the days before and though I really needed help finishing up all the last minute details I ended up with only one bridesmaid’s help instead of five.  I’m sure if I’d just been more assertive and communicated better they would have had no problem helping.  

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