(Closed) If you could do it all over again, what would you change and why?

posted 3 years ago in Recaps
Post # 16
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

We eloped on a sailboat (the one in my profile pic). It was lovely. However, the captain of the boat offered to take pictures with his profession equipment (although he stated he was not a professional photographer). He said he would just take as many photos as possible and hopefully we’d get a few good ones. Out of 250 photos, there are 30 that I can stomach. But even those, I look like a cow with goiters. He shot from weird angles, so in every picture I have quadruple chins. Because of the angles, in most of the pictures, it looks like things are sprouting out of our heads – the statutes on the shore in the background, etc. So, if I could go back I would hire a professional photographer.

In that same light, my dress did me no favors. It was a cheap dress off the internet. I am plus sized, but got the dress too big, and it just hung like a sack on me. Basically, I looked like a lace covered barrel. If I could go back, I would’ve tried harder to lose some weight and gotten a more flattering dress.

And finally, after our ceremony and sail, we went to a really fancy restaurant for dinner. It had great reviews, was supposed to be very romantic. However, while it was good, it was just too stuffy and proper. I’m not a wine person but that’s all they had. I did get a champagne cocktail but it was yucky. I think we would have enjoyed dinner more if it was at someplace a bit more casual. 

All in all, it was a great wedding. It meant a lot to both of us and we enjoyed it. The sail was beautiful, our vows were very from-the-heart, and it was a special day. I’d like to go back for our first anniversary, do the sail again, and have a photo shoot with a professional photographer. Hopefully, I’ll be smaller by then and can get a dress that works better.

Post # 17
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Theater

1. Compile a shot list when I was not tired, stressed and ready to stab myself in the heart, then give it to my photographer when she asks about photos when I am tired, stressed and ready to stab myself in the heart.

2. Plan timeline better and make sure someone is in charge of keeping up with said timeline.

3. Paid more to have hairdresser and MUA come to me so everyone could’ve gotten ready together, ate a snack together and I could’ve given my bridesmaids’ gifts in a more thoughtful way.

4. Given up on stupidly strict budget sooner to allow for more time to make necessary upgrades and changes without losing sleep (and hair) to stress.

5. Have someone else coordinate the day. I was run ragged by the time I was sitting in makeup.


Thankfully it’s all party related, I loved all the people to bits and pieces and the day in its entirety was great. I think I’m most hung up about the photos because they were really expensive and don’t actually reflect what I wanted at all.

Post # 18
4830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

ifiyenia :   I would have hired a babysitter for children during the ceremony.

I would have asked if the getting ready area was air conditioned.

I would have triple checked the menu and might have seen that my favorite food item was missing from the final bill, despite being present on all previous forms.

I would have put a GPS tracker on my mom who went missing during our formal portrait session immediately after our ceremony.  No one could find her and afterwards even she didn’t know where she was at that time.  *sigh*



Post # 19
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ll take a tropical elopement with just the two of us please.  On some level I’m glad we experienced all the tradition and typical weddingy stuff together but on another level, Tahiti.

Post # 20
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill

Rowanberry :  I just wanted to comment since I see so many Bee’s posting about the photos and wishing they had a list for their photographer.

I haven’t got mine back yet but I know for a fact there are going to be more shots I wish I had. BUT the issue here really is that we see so many awesome photos on Pintrest etc and we save them all and expect to get the whole lot. Well, those photos are compiled from many different weddings not the same one! I am sure each of those brides with those awesome shots we drool over also missed out on shots they had seen and wanted to capture.

It’s one day and we have to work with timelines, weather, people, venue, etc. It’s just simply not realistic to get all the photos we have in our minds. We need to be happy with what we get because let’s face it, it’s a HELL of a lot better than what people used to get years ago (take a look at your parents wedding album for example). Our photos capture our individual day and moments, and we are so lucky to live in a time where we get the quality and quantity we do.

That is all 🙂 <3

Post # 21
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

We eloped and for the most part it was perfect and everything we wanted, but as always there were a few details that in a perfect world I would have done differently, but nothing I’m dwelling on.

I did my own hair and makeup which I was happy with but I started a little late and I was nervous so my hands were shaking and I had a hard time getting my individual lashes on, in the end I wanted a more dramatic look but just didn’t leave myself enough time.

The officiant didnt tell Darling Husband to turn around when I started walking towards him so he had his back turned until I reached the alter.

We had an at home reception a couple of months later and didn’t want to make a big deal out of it or spend more than necessary so we didn’t hire anyone to take photos, and in the end have very little to show for the night, that is my biggest regret. I wish we had just hired a student for an hour or something at least to get some good snaps with our loved ones. 

Post # 22
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

One thing that has always bothered me and I never even realized it until after the wedding, is that my bridesmaids were standing off to the side of me -like you do, but once I turned to my now husband for our ceremony, my sister also Maid/Matron of Honor who I am very close with, saw only the back of my head the whole time! She would have loved to watch I’m sure but from that position you can’t really see anything – so stupid!! I wish I had had them sit down or something in the front row. :((((( Major bummer and planning fail. Basically the most important person in my life saw only my back.


Post # 23
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I definitely would have provided my photographer with a shot list. At the very least, I would have been more vocal about my expectations.

I would have clarified some things with my venue about decorations… they were beautiful and I loved them, but there was a miscommunication and instead of speaking up I just let it go. I think things would have gone smoother had I been more clear.

Overall, my wedding was exactly what my husband and I wanted. We’re pretty lucky. 🙂

Post # 24
9692 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I loved my wedding and don’t really have any regrets but if I could do it all over 

The timing is the biggest thing I would change. I would have had a shorter engagement, I think I would have aimed for last fall. We always wanted a fall wedding, but we got engaged at the start of July and I thought a 3 month engagement would be too short. Looking back, I think we could have made it work. Instead we picked the start of August 2016 which was just a couple weeks before my husband started a PhD program. We had the wedding, the honeymoon, and moved to a new state all in 3 weeks. It was pretty stressful.


Post # 25
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Mostly I just wish I had eaten more cake. It was soooo good but I was stuffed and only had room for a few bites. I’ve only been married for a few weeks but I think about that cake almost daily haha!

Post # 26
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church

snugglebutt :  I feel like you and I would get along.

Me, I would have first and foremost had my wedding later in the year so that it wouldn’t have been 55 and raining that day. But PA weather is so fickle, and we couldn’t have predicted it.

Post # 27
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016
  • I wish we sprung for a higher end photographer. I’m very satisfied with my photographers and for the work they provided at a very competitive rate (they were about mid-range, $3k including photobooth and extra hours), but I’d love to have a photographer that did those “photojournalism” types, & more dramatic shoots. But we’ve received endless compliements from friends and fam about our photographers’ work.
  • I should have communicated clearly to day-of coordinator and venue manager that there were TWO cakes delivered: a 3-tier cake, and a full-sheet cake. Both to be served. Servers didn’t know about the full sheet cake so the servers had cut thinner slices of the 3-tier cake. We went home the next morning with a huge full sheet cake. Or, I wish we nixed the full sheet cake. The full sheet was about $100 bucks so it was a drop in the bucket compared to our whole wedding budget.
  • DH’s grandpa felt sick and went home before the ceremony. I wish somebody told me he wasn’t feeling well so we could get a few quick photos with him formally before he went home. I remember seeing him with DH’s grandma at the venue’s lobby and we could have offered him to stay at our hotel room to rest.
  • I wish brought some sort of back-up bra or sticky cups, because the strapless bra I was going to wear with my dress was peeking out of the dress as I was being laced up in the dress, so Maid/Matron of Honor advised I take it off prior to our First Look photos. As the evening went on, the bodice of the dress sagged a bit. I told Darling Husband about this during the honeymoon, he said he didn’t even notice and thought I looked beautiful <3
Post # 28
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Theater

mfox89 :  In my case it’s more of a case of “Can you take a picture of my bouquet, I’d like a picture with my sisters and my nieces, they’re very important to me, I bought a special glass box for our rings, I’d like a detail shot of that” versus what I actually told her, which is “There’s nothing special about our day, no.” In fact, if there was only one thing I could change, it’d be that fateful comment and nothing else.

Although I’d also hope that experienced photographers could also filter through the stress and have a set of “bouquet, dress, bridal party, portraits of the happy couple” pictures they take without asking.

Post # 30
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Ocean front

Astra :  omg…dying laughing,  GPS!!?? LOL

I’m totally getting one for MY mom as she’ll slip away cuz she hates pics!!!! Haha

The topic ‘If you could do it all over again, what would you change and why?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors