Post # 1
This is assuming you had a moderate income….not a lot but not poverty stricken. Average.
Your parents say they can either give you a wedding budget of 20K or they will write you a check so you and your Fiance can start your new life together. Debt is low to none, one of you is going back to school for 2 years for PA school and neither one of you is really, really gung ho on having a big wedding.
What do you take? Pardon for this post sounding crass. I’m not posting the entire situation due to length so I don’t want people attacking us for being selfish for even considering accepting a gift of such value.
Post # 3
I would take the money and start a life together. Have a small dinner with close family to celebrate the new life:)
Post # 4
@mousepeach: 20K, for sure. Honestly if you aren’t gung ho to have a big wedding you probably shouldn’t have one even if there’s not a check waiting for you. I think they’re stressful even for people who love big weddings! That’s from the biased perspective of someone who is having a tiny cheap elopement despite no one offering me 20K to do so 😉
Post # 5
We were given something similar. My husbands (eeeee!) folks have us a huge amount of money and said “Use this on the wedding, the honeymoon or buying a house” We’ve used it for all 3.
Post # 6
Money. Always the money. I wish I was in the midst of a house purchase and not wedding planning.
Post # 7
For the right amount of $ I’d take the cash. The “right” amount differs from person to person.
Post # 8
@mousepeach: Our wedding cost half that! But I would still take the wedding.
Post # 9
We did an absolutely amazing wedding for about $8000, so I would probably take the money, do a budget wedding, then use what’s left over for a house deposit or holiday.
Post # 11
My Dad half-jokingly offered this. At that point we had 0 income, we were both students. My Mom would have been crushed. I loved our wedding! For me, having the wedding was a one time thing. We’ll have many opportunities to save.
Post # 12
Money. Hands down the money.
Post # 13
If my parents would have offered me cash I would have taken that and probably just eloped. But my parents wouldn’t have just given me that much cash, they will pay for the wedding reception though.
But yeah…if they offered that much and said either use it for a wedding or keep it, I would have eloped (invited them and FIs parents and a few others) and kept the rest! I offered to have our wedding in Vegas to begin with but Fiance didn’t want to!
Post # 14
Split the difference. Take the cash, have a tiny, beautiful wedding with just immediate family & v. close friends with a lovely dinner at a restaurant instead of a catered reception. Dress up as bridal as you like, and celebrate with your nearest/dearest. Hire a student photog, or get married on a weekday and hire a pro at their weekday rate.
Whole thing should be under 5K, leaving you 15K to start your life with.
FWIW, I’ve done both. I had a splashy, expensive wedding the first time around, and a tiny but glam elopement the second time. Not taking the fact that I eventually divorced the first guy into consideration (lol), now that I’ve experienced both, I enjoyed the second, smaller one much more.
Post # 15
I agree with splitting the money. I would probably use $6-7K on the wedding, and the rest to help with a down payment on a house, or paying off student loans.
Post # 16
I would take the wedding. It’s a one day that’s focused on you and your Fiance and celebrating your love for each other. I would rather have the memories of that day than money, money can’t replace memories! We’ll still have memories when we “start” our life togther, too, so the money wouldn’t be a want for me.