If You Decided on Super Small Nuptials – Regrets or Suggestions?

posted 6 months ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
154 posts
Blushing bee

Hey a smaller wedding means you can really SPLURG.  Our ceremony was short, like 5 minutes, with my dad officiating.  We picked a poem we both loved to have him read and that was basically it.  If I were in your shoes I’d ball out at my favorite restaurant and spend the night at the swankiest hotel.

Post # 4
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

My only regret is not going smaller. We will have immediate family there so ~14 people (this was important to fiance). Personally I would have liked the two of us to have flown somewhere and gotten married just us.

I dont like the pressure of forced social engagements and never cared much about a wedding. Hes my favorite person so thats the most important part of the day for me. Even with our small family only wedding I feel like Ill have to put on a show and play “the bride” which is super awkward and weird to me

Post # 6
1241 posts
Bumble bee

I have a really large extended family…with just my family alone, no friends, there’s almost 100 people. We decided to go super small and just invite my immediate family and best friend. I am the only one in my family who has ever done this, but so far everyone seems pretty supportive of it. 

I actually think it will be more special because it’s small. The people I love best in the world will be there, we chose a unique location for the ceremony, and we have a friend officiating. We are also tying in some Japanese elements, as we met in Japan and spent most of our relationship there, and we want to honor that. 

Post # 7
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

We eloped and brought my daughter and her BFF. No regrets. Absolutely loved it. 

Post # 8
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

achicago :  We had a super small wedding (just us two) and it was AMAZING. If you can, concentrate on small wedding details. We didn’t go to a restaurant, but we had a wedding cake and coffee where our photo shoot was and I decorated the table with romantic, vintage pieces (like antique cutlery and gorgeous plates and sugar dishes, crystal champagne flutes and a silver candelabra.) Since it was just us two it wasn’t terribly expensive to make a pretty table and I used my bouquet as the flowers. (since I wouldn’t have known where to but it anyway, I brought along an empty vase and plopped it in there, lol) 

If I can recommend one thing though: invest in good photography and try to find a lovely location (outdoors or in a lovely building) for the ceremony. Since you won’t have the “collective” memories of all the other people being there, the photos will take on a much bigger role. So if you don’t mind having your photo taken and you can splurge on something, splurge on a good photographer. They will also make you feel like this day is really about you and nothing feels more “weddingy” and special than being all fancy and having a photographer focusing on you!

Post # 9
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

We had a super small wedding or planned elopement or wedding moon. Just the two of us. On a beautiful tiny hidden cove. With turtles attending our ceremony.

Our ceremony lasted at least 30 min as we switched some things around and added some parts. We had the “walking down the aisle” moment. We had a musician. We had a beautiful tropical flower circle. We had a first dance. I had the white dress. We had it all. And we did it all just for us. It was wonderful. And it was fun. 

Do whatever feels right for you! You don’t need people gawking at you for the first dance or a cake cutting or what not. You can have all of the traditional wedding stuff for just yourself. And you can pick and choose and nobody will judge you. There are so many wedding traditions out there you could incorporate! There are the obvious American ones but look into foreign traditions as well. See what’s fun and adapt them to your needs: the binding, the shaving, henna,  unity sand, candle lighting, lei exchange, ketubah reading… google is your friend. 

I agree with one of the PPs: take a lot of pictures. Invest in a great photographer.

I even had a version of the bouquet toss. 3 days after the wedding I went back to the cove to throw my bouquet- which still looked prestine – into the water (felt wrong to toss it in the trash) as a girl walked up to me to ask where I got it from. She would get married in two days and she didn’t have one yet. I gave her my bouquet. A couple of days later she sent me pictures of her getting married with “my” – now ours – bouquet. She was from Germany and we still keep in touch. 

Post # 12
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We ended up just signing some papers with a couple friends as witnesses and then going back to work for the day lolol.

Obviously this is loads less sentimental than what you’re planning, but we have zero regrets! Do what works for you. You can’t please everyone, so just focus on what will make you happy at the end of the day. What you have in mind sounds beautiful and so special.

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