(Closed) If you don't live with your S/O, why not?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Why don't you live with your S/O?
    LDR : (34 votes)
    21 %
    Relationship too new : (6 votes)
    4 %
    Religious reasons : (41 votes)
    25 %
    Other personal reasons : (35 votes)
    21 %
    Family pressure : (19 votes)
    12 %
    Bad previous experience : (3 votes)
    2 %
    I'm single : (0 votes)
    I like to vote : (19 votes)
    12 %
    Not LD but logistically impossible : (8 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We don’t live together fulltime.  We both have our own homes and he has a brother that contracted encephalitis when he was 21 and had to have a portion of his brain removed.  Before his father died he promised he would take care of him.  His brother (who is now 58) lives in an apartment in his basement so he goes home a few times per week to check on him.  He’s very independent but has other health problems so eh worries about him.  Once we renovate his house, sell/rent my house, and move in we’ll both be keeping an eye on him.  🙂 

    Post # 4
    544 posts
    Busy bee

    @worldtraveler:  Our families are pretty conservative and we have traditional views on not living together before marriage. I don’t think it’s wrong in any way whatsoever — it’s just not something we’ll do as a couple.

    But sometimes I feel like it makes the waiting 100x harder …

    Post # 5
    1347 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2019

    We’re currently in a LDR and have been for about two years. But, his family is also quite conservative, so we made the decision not to move into together until we’re at least engaged so he doesn’t have to get any grief from them.

    Post # 6
    872 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Religious reasons.

    Plus, we were a LDR.  No way was I going to quit my job and move in with him, to a city with no job opportunities unless it was permanent and he had some moral and legal obligation to support me.  Thankfully it never came to that, lol. 


    Post # 7
    98 posts
    Worker bee

    We don’t live together becuase we feel it’s pretty much impossible to right now. We are both paying for school, and don’t feel like now is the right time. We live with our parents and will continue to do so until we graduate which is only one more year!!! YAY!

    Post # 8
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    we waited 3 years into the relationship to move in together. 1. I have a child from a previous relationship so I needed to be 1000000000x sure that this was it for their sake and 2. we were both in lengthy apartment leases that would cost $$ to get out of.


    Post # 9
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    🙁 I miss Fiance so much! We’ve lived together for over two-years now… but he just got an awesome new job in another city. It’s where we both have always wanted to move, so I’m still here desperately trying to get to him. Poor guy is living with his parents because we can’t afford two apartments (we are mid-lease in this one)… But, luckily, his parents are awesome and they make the transition a lot easier for him.

    Post # 10
    9825 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    We don’t have a LDR but we don’t live together, financially impossible right now, otherwise we would! We see each other 6 days a week though, and spend one night a week together.

    Post # 11
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Mr. C lives in Canada, I live in the US.  We’re filing immigration paperwork early next year and going to hopefully being moving in together before the year is out.

    Post # 12
    196 posts
    Blushing bee

    We don’t for a combination of reasons.

    For the last few years he was unable to find steady employment after losing his job. And I definitely blame the economy for this one. He quit the job he was working at to work for one in his field, and then they told him the doctor who hired him did so illegally because he needed a Master’s degree for that job. After they let him go, he applied everywhere, for everything and very rarely received interviews. We both agreed we couldn’t live together until we could afford to, and when we looked at budgets, it just wasn’t possible, until the last couple months.

    The other part is his family and religion. His family is pretty strict about the established timeline of getting married first, so for now he doesn’t want to upset that.

    However, he does spend about half the month here recently (although he has to lie to his parents about it to do it). But that only really started a few month ago.

    I think it’s tough this way because its like I have a home support system when he is staying here, but not when he isn’t. We can plan on cooking meals and budgets, but without him being here all the time, it is hard. I mean, I’ve lived on my own for 9 years, but it’s like having a glimmer of some relief of doing everything myself is making it difficult to keep doing everything myself.

    Post # 13
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    We didn’t leave together before marriage because of our religion. We were also long distance for most of it, but that wasn’t the reason.

    Post # 14
    2949 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Mainly family pressure influenced by religious reasons – out of respect for my father, we’ve decided to wait until we’re engaged to move in together so that at least my father knows that we are marriage-minded and are very serious about our future together. Ideally, I know that he wants us to wait until we’re married but neither the SO nor I want to get married without living with the other person first.

    Post # 15
    4958 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    There should be a “money” option. 

    We both live with our parents (well, my parents and his dad). Mine pay my college tuition as long as I get good grades and they don’t make me pay rent. I wouldn’t be on the Dean’s List if I worked, and I’d be under a lot more stress. 

    FH works, but doesn’t make enough to get an apartment close enough to my school. He hasn’t been to college yet, but he is as soon as possible (after the wedding). 

    Our houses are 10 minutes apart, so it’s not a big deal. It’d be nice to live together, but it’s better logistically this way right now. We see each other more now than we would if we lived together. 

    Post # 16
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We are moving away together in jan 5 hours away from our families. We’ll be engaged by then and our first time living together. 

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