(Closed) If you don't live with your S/O, why not?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Why don't you live with your S/O?
    LDR : (34 votes)
    21 %
    Relationship too new : (6 votes)
    4 %
    Religious reasons : (41 votes)
    25 %
    Other personal reasons : (35 votes)
    21 %
    Family pressure : (19 votes)
    12 %
    Bad previous experience : (3 votes)
    2 %
    I'm single : (0 votes)
    I like to vote : (19 votes)
    12 %
    Not LD but logistically impossible : (8 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 32
    6290 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We’ve been together 7 years, getting married in just under 2 years, and we won’t be living together until we get married. For us, it’s due to financial reasons; we’d love to live together, but we just can’t afford it; I’ve just finished a Masters degree and am now starting a PhD, and OH is not on a high salary; we could technically afford it, but wouldn#t be able to save, and would like some savings before we take the plunge, esp as we’ll be renting for at least 6 years before we can afford to buy; and we won’t be able to save much for the first 2 years we’re renting as almost all ou money will go on rent and bills. Even when we’re married, it’ll be a HUGE struggle; but it’s got to the point where we just can’t live with our parents much longer, we need our own space.

    Post # 33
    2224 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Finsncial boat. We both live at home and are in school and dont have awesome jobs (YET) so no cohabitation for us yet 🙁 once he graduates, though, he will hopefully be working at a job that pays well enough to support us moving out.

    Post # 34
    292 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    He has a dog who is dog aggressive, i have five dogs…’nough said?  It may be a loooong wait.

    Post # 35
    11482 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    My Darling Husband and I lived in different states before we were married (and half of every week after we were married, for almost the entire first year of our marriage). However, the reason we did not live together prior to marriage was based on our Christian faith and beliefs.  We did not believe it would be right for us to have a sexual relationship outside of marriage or to live together before we were married.

    Post # 36
    69 posts
    Worker bee

    We cannot afford to move in together. I live in a studio and he lives in a two bedroom apartment with a housemate. I would move into his place, but it doesn’t accept dogs. Rents for a one bedroom in my city are around $2500 a month and we cannot afford that. So we are saving our money up until we can afford a place together. The good news is we live five blocks away from one another…the bad news is we’ve been together 3.5 years and I am ready to live with him! 

    Post # 37
    1089 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @worldtraveler:  I wouldn’t consider SO and I to be in a LDR but he lives 45 mins from me, and works about 30 mins from me, but his commute home is an hour and a half (gotta love the City) we both live with our parents, (Mine don’t like the idea of me ‘living in sin’ because they did and I’m an oops baby lol, His Mom hates anyone he dates and has forbidden him from bringing anyone home) so It’s complicated lol but once we can afford to live together we will.

    Post # 38
    3650 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

    @fivedogsrule:  You are my hero!


    I live with dogs who want to kill each others. We talwk though baby gates about a hundred times a day, the gates up to keep the little beasts separate.

    Post # 39
    482 posts
    Helper bee

    i wont move in with him until we’re engaged. its personal, we’re not religious.

    Post # 40
    619 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Because of my Christian beliefs, and also because it’s something I have never considered an option. I think my SO probably wouldn’t mind if I suggested cohabitating, but it just doesn’t work for me.

    Post # 41
    3089 posts
    Sugar bee

    I will not be living with my honey until he not only puts a ring on it, but until we both walk down the aisle.  I do not want to give him the benefits of marriage without marriage.  To each his own but I feel strongly about it.  And yes, we both are Christians.

    Post # 42
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    A few reasons:

    -SO has a religious family and typically live home until marriage

    -SO is very good about saving, so he doesn’t want to rent,  wants to buy a house together in near future

    -Don’t want to rush it (only over a year of dating, although older)

    -I live alone so we can still have privacy, and get to know one another’s living habits. We know each other’s nuances, so we feel comfortable we’d be fine getting married, but we aren’t rushing it.

    On that note, we’re (God willing) two years out from wedding, but when lease is up in late Spring, we may buy a house after we are engaged. As long as we’re engaged I’d feel comfortable.

    Post # 43
    342 posts
    Helper bee

    I voted LDR, because that’s what we are now. But, he is looking for jobs where I live, and I do have a house, however, I told him that he can NOT move in with me. The reason is because I have 2 children and although everyone gets along well, I don’t want my children to think it’s OK to live together before marriage. Otherwise, we would.

    Post # 44
    164 posts
    Blushing bee

    I voted other personal reasons – we’d love to live together, but he shares custody of his kids from his previous marriage. It makes the moving-in topic a bit more delicate so we’ve tabled it until it feels right. 

    Post # 45
    3245 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    We lived together full time for 2 years, but then I decided I wanted to go to grad school. Hello LDR! BLECH. Hate it– even though I am spoiled compared to many of the LDR bees who rarely see their SO.

    So, it’s due to my school/long distance. 

    If you’re wondering, he didn’t move with me because he built the house on land he owns, and his work is there. . . he’s never going to move!

    Post # 46
    299 posts
    Helper bee

    SO and I don’t live together. We want to but I made it clear early on that I’m not moving in with him until we are at least engaged. I learned a lot if life lessons early on and I will remain 100% independent until he puts a ring on it. I prefer it this way to cover my butt.

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