(Closed) If you ever ended an engagement, did you give the ring back?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

Generally, I think a girl should keep it, yes, but not if the ring was sentimental. My brother gave his ex-fiance a ring with our grandmother’s diamond in it (I have the other diamond). 2 weeks later, the girl broke up with him and kept the ring.

Post # 4
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

An e-ring and watch have a very different story beind them. Your was a thank you and his was a spend the the rest of your life with me, type gift. Keeping a christmas, thank you ro b-day gift but keeping a commitment gift without the committment is well…weird.

My fiance left me, after cheating on me. i keep the ring for ahilw (two years maybe three) before i eventually gave it back to him. My parents, siblings and his family always thought i should have given it back. They said it wasnt fair to him. As far as i was concerened HE ChOSE to dink around with another girl and he left the committment thereforre the ring, behind. Myplan was to sell it and by something for myself i never normally woould.

 

My siser on the other hand left her fiance for another man and “confusion”…whatever. Anyways HANDS DOWN she should have given the ring back to him…which she hasnt. He says he doesnt want it as its a reminder of all the pain etc. but he paid 10.000.00 for it, I think he should have it. Why should she get a gorgeous ring and ge tto break his heart, have a new man and a happy life while her ex is left heart broken.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I gave my previous e-ring back (I’m now married to someone else).

Technically if you  end the engagement you’re “supposed” to give it back, if the man ends it, he isn’t supposed to get it back.

Part of me feels like it was a “gift” and it was weird that like the first thing he brought up after he was done crying was that he wanted the ring back when I never got any of the gifts I got for him back, but at the same time it’s not like I would have worn it.  And I definitely wouldn’t have been comfortable selling it or anything, so it would probably just sit in a jewelry box somewhere; at least he probably sold it/returned it/got money for it somehow.

Post # 6
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Just from a legal standpoint, you have to give back the ring because it was given to you in anticipation of a marriage taking place, if it doesn’t then the contract is null and void.  I’ve seen women sued for the ring and the guy always wins.  Just the way it is.  Unless of course, he feels like letting you keep it out of generousity.  But then would you want a ring from a broken engagement anyway?

Post # 7
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Nope. I had a 1ct Leo diamond and sold that shit for $3500. I gave it time though. Anything left in the house that was his after 4 months was sold.

Post # 8
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think:

You ended it: give the ring back.

He ended it: keep it.

@Baileyh:  I would have kept that ring (well…I would have sold it) because he’s the one that cheated on you.  Completely generous of you to offer it back, but he should have insisted that you keep it.  

Post # 10
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

He breaks it off, I keep it

He cheats, or steels from me or grossly embellished on who he is/was in his past (IE: Is a convicted rapist or has 15 children I didn’t know about) I keep it and sell it and take a trip to relax after dealing with that shit

I break it off, he gets it back.

If it’s a heirloom ring, I offer in case #1, I keep it no matter what in case #2 and in case #3 I insist he takes it back.

Post # 11
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

@PutABirdOnIt: I think, like Miss Tattoo mentions, it’s more about keeping a gift that was given to you (and selling it if that’s what you want). Etiquette and legalities aside, if a relationship ends, you wouldn’t give other jewelry back that he gave you. I see it the same way – again, unless it was a ring that was sentimental to him. To me, it is the same as a woman not giving an engagement/wedding ring back after she divorces her husband.

Post # 12
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I gave it back. I honestly didn’t want anything that reminded me of that previous relationship because I wanted to move on so when he asked for it I didn’t even care. I ended the engagement due to cheating.

Post # 13
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Just_Squeeze: That’s understandable and I can see there would be circumstances where the ring is kept or made into a piece of jewelry.  I was just saying that you are legally required to give the ring back, no matter who did the dumping.  Just depends how mad or litigious the ex is. lol

Post # 14
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I gave my first e-ring back. I told him to hang onto it until he could figure out what it really meant, and at the time I hoped I would eventually get it back… Thank goodness he kept it (or returned it to Walmart where he bought it!) and let me move on to bigger and better things!

 

 

Post # 15
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Just_Squeeze:  If you keep the ring, you don’t keep it for sentimental reasons.  You keep it so that you can sell it or trade it in for something else.

 

Post # 16
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have zero intentions of ending my engagement, but if I did I would only keep the ring if he did something that damaged the relationship and caused its demise.  If it was just me having a change of heart, he gets it back.

All other gifts given during the time that we have been together would be left as-is, no returning to the other.  An engagement ring is not exactly a gift, it’s the symbol of a promise.  If that promise ends or is is broken, the ring goes to the person on the short end of the stick. 

Also, if the separation was mutual and amicable, I’d give the ring back.  It’s many thousands of dollars that truly belong to him at the end of the day.

The topic ‘If you ever ended an engagement, did you give the ring back?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors