(Closed) If you found out you were pregnant with a disabled baby…

posted 7 years ago in Babies
  • poll: What would you do if you found out your baby was going to be born disabled?
    Keep the baby and raise it : (137 votes)
    47 %
    Have an abortion : (156 votes)
    53 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1231 posts
    Bumble bee

    ohh that’s a tough one. I don’t think I could actually answer it unless I was in the situation.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @MissCallieJean: same here. It’s easy to say one or the other right now, but if it were to really happen to me. I have no idea what I’d do!

    Post # 7
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee

    It would depend on what kind of a disability, and how far along I was.

     

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    1944 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    My friend is going through this. Her baby was born last year and has had 2 brain surgerys since. You know what though, she’s a happy, loving baby full of life. Yea it’s been a rough year for them, but that’s their child. Seeing this is inspiration and I would keep the baby. You have no idea what life is going to throw at you.

    Post # 9
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I actually had to consider this yesterday! My nurse asked me if I wanted to have a check done to see if my baby has symptoms of Down Syndrome. I said no. It won’t change anything, it’s my baby now for life no matter what.

    Post # 10
    Member
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    It would really depend on the disability.  When we got genetic testing, my husband and I agreed that we would carry a child with a disability to term, provided it was not a fatal disability.  For example, one of tests was for trisomy 18 in which the child only lives for a month or so.  I just can’t bear the thought of having a baby just to watch him/her die in a few weeks!  However, a child with down’s syndrome or something is a different story.  We are well-off and able to provide for a disabled child.  I know it wouldn’t be easy, but we would do it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1577 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I am a carrier of the cystic fibrosis gene, I have watched my cousin struggle and die from the disease.

    That’s as close as I’ve gotten to having to make the choice…  but I decided a long time ago that if I were ever pregnant, that I would test and abort if positive.

    ETA:  I’ve also had this discussion with Fiance, even though we’re not planning children. He is also pro-testing/pro-abortion. It was an intense conversation, but I’m glad we had it and so reassured we’re on the same page.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I would pick other.  We didn’t get any of the genetic testing done with either pregnancy, so it would be unlikely we would know until the baby was born.

    I think this is such a personal thing and really depends on the defect.  Some disorders are fatal, some disorders cause a lifetime of pain  and suffering.  One of the reasons we declined the testing in the first place is to limit the chance we’d ever have to make a decision like this.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We would definitely keep the baby. I know that it would be a huge challenge and a game changer but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we couldn’t abort.

    Post # 14
    Member
    43 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Can’t really say. 

    Darling Husband and I were talking about that the other day. Say we found out we were having a child with Down’s…there wouldn’t be a reason in our minds that we should terminate the pregnancy. That would be our child and the child could live with that and be loved and productive. 

    But, there are so many other issues that could be more harmful for the child if born so it would have to depend on the situation. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    43 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @Ivorybuttons: I am a carrier for that as well. You can have your SO tested for the same and they can tell you before you even get pregnant if you have a chance of passing it on. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    2548 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    There is no doubt in my mind I would keep my baby. I actually thought about it alot when I was pregnant, getting all the bloodwork done, and waiting the results. I only wanted the tests done, so if there were a chance my baby was down syndrome, or any other type of disability, I could be prepared for it mentally and emotionally.

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