(Closed) If you got engaged in under 2 years…

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
2387 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We got engaged at around 15 months, and married a few months after that (semi elopment/destination wedding in Vegas. Our families met each other for the first time at the wedding. I had to repeat that I wasn’t pregnant a lot in the three months between our initial engagement and wedding. For us though that was more because we got married so quickly after engagement, not that we got engaged quickly. But we were a little older when we started dating and both wanted to have kids.

 

ETA: I guess that doesn’t answer your question because our wedding planning was minimal.

Post # 3
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

We got engaged in under a year, and I haven’t run into anything because we got engaged relatively quickly.  We also spent a lot of time with his parents (we have dinner with them once a week most of the time), and my FH had met my parents as well even though they live out of state.  Honestly everyone has been really supportive and we haven’t had a single weird thing/issue aside from just general wedding planning stress that’s unavoidable.

My counselor always says “why are you worrying about a problem that doesn’t currently exist?” If there’s no problem, don’t worry about it! =)

Post # 4
Member
2036 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

We got engaged on our one-year anniversary ๐Ÿ™‚ No one has even questioned anything! Both of us were ready, and we haven’t had any issues so far! 

Post # 5
Member
7946 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

met each other and started dating the following month.  we got engaged at the 2 year mark and married 7 months later.  we will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary next month.

we had no wedding planning issues and haven’t had any other issue pop up since then. well i shouldn’t say no issues, but nothing that we couldn’t discuss and work out something that we could both be happy with.

Post # 6
Member
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

We got engaged around the 15-month mark. It was definitely the right time for us, but I can relate to what you’re saying about the family stuff. Dh’s family lives in another country and I’d only met them one time before we got engaged, which I think was a bit hard for them. I basically didn’t interact with them at all during the wedding planning phase – which was, tbh, fraught with tension due to cultural/religious issues – everything was filtered through dh, which was probably for the best! 

Ultimately what matters most is that you and your fi are in a good place and both ready to take this step, which it sounds like you are. People are always gonna have an opinion but as long as you know in your gut that you’re doing what’s right for your relationship, they can suck it!

Post # 7
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Nope! But we’re a little older (fiance 32, me 26). Got engaged right around the year mark (a little after). Although we did have a longer engagement (Jan 2017-Sept 2018). I’m not super close to my FI’s family but I don’t think the amount of time we were together really played into that at all. 

Post # 8
Member
2322 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
mrsziggy :  we got engaged after a little over a year and a half, had a four month engagement and got married on our two year dating anniversary. 

No one had any issue with this, everyone was super excited for us. We are 30, so maybe if we were in our early twenties and only dating this long it would have been different. 

Post # 9
Member
2236 posts
Buzzing bee

We got engaged after 20 months together, and yes we did run into planning issues.

But they (mostly) had nothing to do with us or our dynamic, and were the result of my Mother-In-Law becoming controlling and manipulative. Dh had warned me, but I had never seen the behavior for myself until we started trying to plan, so I was caught off guard. 

Once I got a handle on what she was doing and how Dh and I could present a united front, all that drama died down. 

I don’t think it would have been helped if we had been together longer before getting engaged though. MIL’s behavior wasn’t ever going to go OTT like that until we got engaged and planning commenced, whether that was at 18 months in or 6 years in. 

It can be hard to plan a wedding WHILE getting to know people’s personalities. But so long as communication stays open between you and your Fi, and you don’t turn against each other, you’ll be fine. 

Post # 10
Member
2312 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

We got engaged after not quite 18 mos of dating. The only thing I’ve learned so far: My fiance is not a fan of his middle name! He was ADAMANT that our middle names not go on our invites!! 

Post # 12
Member
7225 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

We got engaged in 8 months. Married a month and a half later.

We had no issues.

Post # 13
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

View original reply
mrsziggy :  Reading your post and then reading people’s comments it makes me realize that people are gonna judge no matter what. People will always have questions that are slightly to personal but you better believe they’ll ask anyways. It’s been two years now. I feel like that’s been plenty of time to get to know them depending on how often you guys spend time together. If they’re local maybe try to get invovled with doing non-wedding stuff with them including your Fiance when possible. Ex: go boating, have family dinner, go over when your future nieces/nephews are there, text FI’s mom and ask her how her day is… of course all this depends on how close he is with his family. But if you’re uncomfortable try going to community events with everyone. Remember, they are just as excited & nervous about adding you to their family!(:

Post # 14
Member
2761 posts
Sugar bee

We got engaged after just over a year together, and I don’t think it impacted our planning/pre-wedding phase much. We don’t live close to our families and we basically only see them on holidays a few times a year, so I don’t think spending 3 Christmases vs 1 or 2 together would have made a considerable difference in feeling close to them. 

Neither of our families was particularly involved with wedding planning, either, so there wasn’t really any drama or personality issues. We didn’t consult our families much on our decisions other than making sure the date worked for them and running the seating chart by Mother-In-Law to make sure I’d grouped his family members well. I’m also lucky that Mother-In-Law is lovely and was always very welcoming to me.

We had both met each other’s families by the time we got engaged, but our families didn’t meet until our wedding since they live quite far apart. Honestly since they likely won’t ever live close, it wasn’t a concern that our families get along beyond being civil. 

Post # 15
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

We got engaged at 11 months, but we decided we were getting married 3 months in (24/25 yrs old) and immediately started pre-marital counseling with my high school youth minister. He is now our officiant. We were done with counseling well before we were engaged ๐Ÿ˜€ We are getting married close to our “2 year anniversary.”

The overwhelming majority of our relationship has been marriage oriented. 5 months after we decided we wanted to get married, I changed jobs and moved to his state (we were LDR). Changed jobs again 11 months after that to be in the same town and moved in with him.

My mom (bless her heart) asked if we were pregnant when I told her we were planning to get married. Fiance snuck into Texas for a weekend (I was living in a different state and I thought he spent the weekend skiing) to talk to my dad a couple weeks after I told my parents I was going to marry him. He is just the coolest guy ๐Ÿ™‚

Started off a little bumpy with my parents, since we did it all “out of order”, but everyone who has been a part of our relationship knows that we are doing what we can to prepare a future together. Everyone has been overwhelmingly supportive.

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