- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
(note: this entire post is written with tongue planted firmly in cheek)
Y’all, I was a little mopey last night. Yes, it is true. I was mopey because after my post about how I throw up a lot, a couple of people got the impression that I had an eating disorder and was in denial about it. Now, it was entirely because of my own sloppy phrasing that they got that impression, and if it were true I’d be happy to have people calling me out on it, but in reality nothing could be farther from the truth. So I got a little butthurt, the way you get butthurt any time someone thinks something about you that isn’t true — like when someone assumes you’re bad at math, or thinks you’re racist or homophobic or something. I was a little upset that anyone, even internet strangers, could think that about me when it’s so untrue.
Because the fact is, when I look into the mirror, I don’t dislike what I see. No ma’am. When I look into the mirror, I see my reflection and I’m all “hey girl, you lookin fine today! Whatchu doin later?”
And then I started thinking how cool it would be to have a clone of myself. Oh, the things we would do! We would take turns cooking each other fancy delicious dinners. We would go shopping and pick out clothes for each other to try on, and then argue about who who looked better in it (“No, YOU look better!” “No, YOU do!”). We would go running together, and when she got tired and wanted to slow down, I’d push her to keep going. And then she’d do the same to me. And we would run so far and so fast and it would be awesome.
We would be so inseparable that even Darling Husband would get tired of having the two of us around. He would lose interest in those awkward threesomes where we would totally exclude him, and he would leave us. And for a while we’d be all “we don’t need him!” until we eventually drove each other crazy and one killed the other (but first there would be crazy plot twists where we each tried to convince my family that we were the true original and the other one was the clone). And that would mark the end of my experience having a clone (assuming I prevailed in the clone war).
What would you do if you had a clone who was your exact duplicate, both physically and personality-wise?