Post # 1
My Fiance and I are in a situation that I think needs a second opinion..
He has an amazing job now make close to $100,000 a year and works about 60-70 hours a week. He is being offered a job to work 20 days out of the month on location (which sucks) but he will be making over $500,000 a year. We are getting married in 6 months and trying to save for a house, new cars, ectect. We would like for him to only do it for a year, but everyone says that getting used to that money you won’t want to go back doing anything else. So it will probably end up being about 3 years until the oil boom is over.
If you were in our situation…would you want/let/force him to take the job?
Post # 3
PERSONALLY, my Fiance and I are very independent people. I would support him IF he wanted to take the job. I would not push him into it or give him a hard time if he wanted to do it. Have you ever done a LDR? Do you have alot going on in your life right now which would make prolonged absences easier? Those are some things to think about.
It does sound like an awesome opportunity!
Post # 4
I would never force him to take it, but yes I would definitely let him if it was what he wanted. If I’m understanding correctly, instead of working 60-70 hours a week (which are my DH’s hours, so I understand how hard that is), he would work 20 days and get the rest off to come home and be with you? the days away would suck, but in the end he might get to spend more time with you…and that is a lot more money!
Post # 5
@Pearberry: I work a fulltime job at a different oil company and am moving my way up, so I am busy with work. I also have my family (which I am very close with) and my friends to keep me occupied. He would be gone for 20 days and be back for the remaining 10+. I would support him in any decision he makes, but this is something that could either make our lives or tear us apart.
Post # 6
In a flipping HEARTBEAT!!! We’d probably do it for just the year, or maybe even the full 3 years. BUT we would NOT change our life style and spending habits. It’d just be a giant bonus and savings cushion.
Post # 7
@baileyryan12: what are you worried about? (“tear us apart”)
I think you need to talk to your Fiance and see what he thinks and tell him what you think – all the opportunities aswell as the worries. Every relationship is different, but I think supporting him in whatever he wants to do is a good start. I hope you can get on the same page!
Post # 8
We’re also very independent. And our time spent together after work is done is limited. I guess I would rather spend 10 quality days with my Fiance than our 3 or 4 hours after work 5 days a week… I’d take the money.
Post # 9
@maymorganite: We know 2 couples who are going through a seperation/divorce right now because of the stress from directional drillers hours.
I trust him and I know he would never do anything (plus he’ll be on a rig all day, everyday with 15 guys) I’m just scared that the time apart will become an issue.
BUT- also, he will be off for at least 10 days straight a month. The other couples didn’t have that, they were off maybe 4-5 days a month. Maybe I’m over anaylizing it and we should just do it! He really wants to but he wanted to make sure it would be okay with me before he did anything.
Post # 11
I say GO FOR IT !!! For as long as you can stand it. What an amazing opportunity.
Post # 12
I would do it in a heartbeat. DH is already out of town for work 4 out of 7 days a week (aka over 17 days a month on average) and it really isn’t a big deal AT ALL. And having 10 quality days where he has no work to do would be awesome!
That said, we wouldn’t start living like we were making half a million dollars. Yes – we’d take a couple nice trips and such but the VAST majority of the money would be banked away to allow us to retire MUCH younger and have even more quality time to spend together.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I would recommend doing it for a year, and seeing where you are at.
Saying you’ll “get used” to the money isn’t really a fair statement– if course you’ll get used to it, but if you KNOW that it’s permanant, you’ll plan accordingly.
I think it’s a great opportunity, and it’s a perfect scenario to set yourselves up for a great life once he’s done with it. And if it turns into 2 years, or even 3– decide and deal with it then!
Post # 14
I would, and put everything over the 100k income he’s making now straight in the bank to fatten up the savings account!
Post # 15
YES! I wish I had this chance….
My Darling Husband doesn’t make close to 500k, but he’s gone a couple of weeks a month on travel and I love it! I love having “me time” and having everything clean and the laudry done when he comes back on Friday.
Post # 16
Personally, I wouldn’t do it. My philosophy is life is too short and I want to spend as much time as I can with my Fiance – even if it meant making more money. But that is just me. There of plenty of people who have spouses who travel.