- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Well I don’t hate any of my bridesmaids, but I understand brides who choose theirs out of obligation. Out of my 4 bridesmaids, 3 of them are girls that I absolutely have to have with me that day. My best friend from high school, my best friend from college, and my youngest sister. I can’t imagine not having them standing up there with me.
My obligatory bridesmaid is my other sister. We’ve always had a rocky relationship and she treats everyone in our family like crap constantly. But I know that if I didn’t have her as a bridesmaid I would never hear the end of it from her and my mom. Years of complaining and snark and snide comments just isn’t worth excluding her from the bridal party for just one day of my entire life, so she’s in. It’s just not worth fighting about in the long run, so I suck it up and deal.
I think that, besides problems with dead-weight obligatory bridesmaids, brides also expect too much from their girls and then get let down when their girls can’t meet those expectations. Two of my girls live out of state, one is broke as hell, and the other is a teenager. I don’t expect them to be able to attend or afford all parties and events. I think problems arise when brides expect long-distance bms or poor bms or bms with busy careers to just be able to drop everything/travel/shell out cash for every event. It’s an unreasonable expectation and it can cause a lot of friction.