(Closed) If you have nothing nice to say …

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh man! I would not have been able to restrain myself. She would have gotten a backhand across the face. Okay, maybe not physical violence, but I would have had more than a few choice words for her! ARGH, why can’t people just keep things like that to themselves!

Post # 4
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

that stinks so much! Sorry you have to deal with someone like that this close to your wedding and sadly that she is your Future Mother-In-Law. Just remember it’s your day and meant to be the perfect day for you and your Fiance. So if Future Mother-In-Law isn’t happy it’s her own dang fault, and her not liking things is only going to ruin her day and not yours becuase she is the one who has a problem with it not you! So just remind her that it’s unfortunate she isn’t going to be able such a wonderful day when everyone else is having fun because she can’t get over herself.

Post # 5
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m so sorry you’re going through that. One of my BM’s was acting like that! Like every idea I had, she’d make a face. Then she had the nerve to tell me, “I just don’t think you realize what an important day this is going to be.” UMMM, WHAT??! I almost lost it. I said, “You know what? I don’t like to talk about my wedding with you because you are VERY insulting. Of course, I know what an important day this is! I’m the one who is getting married!!” And I haven’t spoken to her about the wedding since, aside from the need-to-know info for the BM’s (dresses, shoes, etc.).

I know it sucks, but I think you should tell her she’s insulting you. Then if you don’t talk to her about the wedding, she’ll understand why.

Post # 6
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@awakemysoul

I went through the same thing when i was planning my wedding. In hidnsight, i shouldnt have let it get to me…i even changed my plans to accomodate her nasty little remarks.

Just stick to your guns, dont change anything and dont worry about her! I know its all easier said then done, and i worry about that fact that you say your relationship feels strained now….cause mine feels the same way to with my Mother-In-Law. (she actually said “appalled” as well!!! WTH???!!!)

 

Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012
Post # 8
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Something similar just happened with my Future Mother-In-Law and FAIL funny thing is they are not married toe achother anymore but had the same comments. We are having in about 2+ hrs from our house and in mid week. They both freaked out about it and made rude comments. I usually have to hold my tongue around them… But this was not there place to say a darn thing. 

FMIL/FAIL: “Why in the world would you have it so far away?””Not even where you two where raised, Making such a burden on everyone”.

My response: “If you two want to pay for everything then by all means your place your time we will be there.”

 

Wooo they were speechless!!!!!! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

What really got me in your post was that you said it’s putting a strain on your and FI’s relationship. It shouldn’t sweetie. Please remind yourself and tell your Fiance that this is YOUR relationship, YOUR marriage, and YOUR wedding day. Don’t ever let OTHER people effect YOUR relationship with each other. It’s not their big day, this isn’t their life, so please don’t ever let anyone create a problem for you two. There are so many outside life problems, so you two need to stay strong together so you guys can concur those problems together. My Dear Fiance always says, “Don’t let other people create problems for us, this is us, not them.” Best of luck to you sweetie.

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