Post # 31
rittenhousenewbee: I was trying to hide it in December and January… in December, I drank gingerale out of a champagne flute; no one every picked up on the slight colour difference, which goes to show you they notice the general glass you’re drinking out of, but not exactly what’s in it. I also drank a lot of soda with lime (said there was vodka in it), virgin mojitos, and virgin cesars.
In January, I just said I was doing a bit of a detox after the holidays and was off alcohol until the end of the month! By February, I was okay with people finding out, but no one ever really called me on it – and I’m a HUGE wino – except for my friends when we were out for dinner and I ordered a club soda. But I did that fairy obviously, knowing that would by my “big reveal” to them 🙂
Post # 32
lol my Happy Hour friends kept inviting my out, whereas sometimes they plan nothing for months. I just said that I couldn’t go and told them the truth once I was ready. We went to a party when I was about 7 weeks and I just didn’t say anything, I ate but did not worry about drinking.
Post # 33
rittenhousenewbee: I would have Darling Husband text both groups you’ll be with this weekend – “hey, rittenhouse is really sick so I’m not sure she will be joining us this weekend. Hopefully she’ll be feeling better – ill let you know when the day comes closer”. Then on whatever day you’re going, Darling Husband says that you’re feeling better and will come along. Then you just deny drinks (say you’re on antibiotics if you want or your stomach is still settling. That way, if you get sick, there’s your excuse.
Post # 34
rittenhousenewbee: I’m 5 weeks tomorrow so still quite a bit of time until we even tell family. Mostly I just tell people I don’t feel like drinking. I don’t drink often anyway, so that comment stopped getting suspicion long ago. If you are feeling ill because of the pregnancy use that. Just say you have a cold and don’t feel up to drinking.
Post # 35
Your social group requires an excuse from you if you’re choosing not to drink alcohol? Wow……
Post # 36
Not preggers, but the one I use when I don’t want to drink is “I can’t, I’m on a cleanse”. NOBODY wants to hear about a cleanse. And nobody will ask for more information for fear you’re going to bore them to death or start talking about your bowel movements.
Post # 37
rittenhousenewbee: I always said I was the Dear Daughter or trying to lose weight. Both of which stand true now and I’m not pregnant
Post # 38
I think it depends on where you’re going to be. If you’re in someone else’s home and they offer you a drink, take it, pretend and then either hand it off to Darling Husband or dump it. No one really notices if you accept and then don’t drink, they’re way more likely to notice if you say no! If its BYOB well then that’s easy, a vodka water bottle!
I totally did that ‘show me where the washroom is’ at a restaurant and told the waitress to make my cesear a virgin, my friend that I was out with had no idea. And I’ve also tag teamed with Darling Husband pretty well- if he goes to the bar and he’s alone he’ll get me a drink, if he has a friend with him he won’t get me one and I’ll go up when I’m alone.. People don’t notice
I really thought being in my first trimester in Feb-April would be easy peasy cause no Christmas or summer parties but I feel like I have to fake it most weekends! I feel like I’m getting better at it, the first was the worst because we were at a restaurant and I could see the washroom so obviously that trick didn’t work!
Post # 39
I can’t help you with this one! I stopped drinking entirely in December telling my friends and family that I didn’t want them to know when I was pregnant so they wouldn’t have any indication 🙂
Post # 40
rittenhousenewbee: i used the designated driver or im on antibiotics excuse
Post # 41
We found out I was preg on New Years eve!! I ordered virgin margaritas at dinner at after would just switch glasses with Darling Husband. But, now that the world knows I’ve been surprised that people really didn’t bituce if I didn’t drink, so don’t worry too much about it!
Post # 42
I actually found the not eating thing harder. I am a social drinker but most people don’t question when I do and don’t drink these days because Darling Husband and I take it in turns to be Dear Daughter (we are both adamant no drinks before driving people). But my girlfriend is an inventive cook and she often put booze and/or weird and wonderful cheeses etc in her cooking, esp desserts. Avoiding all her food around Christmas was bloody hard considering we do fairly big xmas get togethers and often. I’m 23 weeks now and completely out so that’s good because my girlfriend tells me now which of her food is safe haha.
Just something else to be aware of – dietary restrictions can also give you away.
As for the booze thing – I was drinking soda out of glass bottles at our xmas parties and everyone just assumed it was alcoholic. As long as you aren’t only drinking water i don’t think people are as aware as you think. I was only asked by 2 people what I was drinking – 1 mate who knew and wanted to know what my pretty pink drink was and another friends hubby – and he took the Dear Daughter excuse. My Darling Husband was deliberately drinking to make it more obvious too (he doesn’t drink much but downed a bottle of mead just because he could haha).
That said we never do “shouts” and it’s usually BYOB at our parties – occasionally an offer to grab a beer etc from the fridge when we are there happens but it’s not an every time someone fills up everyone drinks thing.
Post # 43
I think the antibiotics excuse has been used to death. If a girlfriend told me that, I’d naturally assume that she may be pregnant. So far, I’ve said I’ve given up for Lent, which everyone believes, since I’ve done that in the past when not pregnant. My drink of choice is usually rum with Diet Pepsi, so that’s super easy to fake out with plain DP. As for people commenting on why others feel the pressure to drink around friends or family, I don’t think its about that at all. It’s more about people noticing if you decide not to have a drink in a situation when you normally would.
Post # 44
I love these. Thank you all for sharing your suggestions and experiences. I like the ones involving having a drink in my hand because the meds excuse or just choosing not to drink would definitely trigger questions and curiousity since I love wine with dinner and I like my after-dinner cocktails.
To those of you who responded with criticisms that my friends and family would need an excuse if I don’t drink, I don’t appreciate your assumptions about peer presssure nor your snark. If you actually read my post in its entirely, I made it abundantly clear that I am a social drinker aka I like my cocktails and wine/ I always have a drink/ I enjoy it. No one is holding a gun to my head asking me to drink. The people in question include immediate family and yes, we alywa sget a few bottles of wine during birthday dinners because we all enjoy it so me declining would naturally raise an eyebrow. Geez.