(Closed) If you host the shower as a bridesmaid… shouldn't you come?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1159 posts
Bumble bee

@lealorali:  Hi, that would really suck. Just out of curiosity, how many bridesmaids do you have in total? If there are say another 2 or 3 bridesmaids present i think things will still run smoothly.

One of my bridesmaids cant attend my shower and two of my bridesmaids cant attend my hens. It sucks. 🙁 but i understand.

Post # 5
1159 posts
Bumble bee

@lealorali:  You’ll still have 5 there, i’m sure you wont even notice they’re not there. You know they do say there obly real responsibility is to stand up there with you. I understand where you’re coming from but i think you might just have to try and move past this one 🙂

Post # 6
7437 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’ve never heard of a shower being hosted by all of the BMs. Where I’m from, it’s usually hosted by the Maid/Matron of Honor, MOB, or a combination of the two. If you have so many hosts, I think it’s bound to happen that a couple might not be able to come.

Post # 7
8722 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@lealorali:  Maybe they expressed that they might be busy on/around those dates but were out voted on the date by the other BM’s.

Post # 8
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lealorali: Sorry but I don’t think you could have expected your friend to miss a “big med school appointment”. Maybe she had no say in the date.

The other one is disappointing I agree, she should have honoured the shower she committed to first,

Post # 9
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You could tell them that you’re dissapointed that you won’t be there and maybe they will explain. I do think it’s possible that the medical school thing might not be something she can change.


Post # 10
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It’s hard to tell what’s going on with them – maybe the other shower and the school meeting had to be on that day. I would try to let it go since there will still be 5 bms there to host. 

Post # 11
7276 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think that it’s really really hard to find a date that works for 8 people (you + 7 BMs) so as PP said, I would think that they expressed that they might be busy and were just outvoted. I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man who couldn’t come because she had job training on the same weekend (and knew about my shower way ahead of time). She could choose this date out of 3 days but had other conflicts on those days that took priority over my shower. I completely understood. I know that my wedding is my priority and not theirs.

I understand being sad about it (because I certainly was) so I’m glad you didn’t get angry at them! When this happened to me I was disapointed and people reminded me that there will be tons of other people that love me there, so while this situation stinks just keep your head up and remember that they would probably love to be there and that lots of other people will be there to make your day great!

Post # 12
11 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

I understand the med school thing, that may not have been able to be changed or even an option to change. But i would be sad too! even though you have 5 more there it still sucks. I would be sad too. *hugs* 

Post # 13
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Cory_loves_this_girl:  this. OP try and let it go. I wouldnt hold it against either one of them ESPECIALLY not the girl with the med school appointment.

Post # 15
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@lealorali:  Even though it’s the next day, you said it was 8 hours away? She may want to go out that way the day before to ready herself for the interview. I know I would.

That being said, I understand why you’re disappointed. Just don’t hold it against them.

Post # 16
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@lealorali:  even though the med school interview was scheduled after your shower, i would imagine they didn’t give her unlimited flexibility to pick the time – grad school interviews are a huge deal, and i’m sure that her choices were limited. 

it’s disappointing – but i think in particular, that one is a clear excuse that couldn’t be helped

The topic ‘If you host the shower as a bridesmaid… shouldn't you come?’ is closed to new replies.

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