(Closed) If you knew your best friend's SO was lying/cheating, would you tell her?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

OP – I have no doubt he is lying as I am retired from the Active Guard Reserve side of the National Guard.  I was on active duty with them 24/7 – each state has a number of people in that status as well as federal technicians.  They run things the other 28 days of the month.  I was in for 26 years.

Yes, drill was cancelled.  No, he couldn’t just show up voluntarily because if they were to let him drill in an unpaid status, they would be liable for any injuries/illnesses that occured during the drill weekend.  He did not drill.  Also, today is Columbus Day is today and in my 26 years we NEVER EVER scheduled drill for a 3 day weekend.

On the flip side of all of that, my first husband was a serial cheater.  All of our friends knew and I had my head stuck in the sand.  None of them wanted to be the messenger who got their heads shot off either and the result was a lovely STD I got from my cheating husband.  Those people are no longer my friends.  I was fortunate that it was easily treated.

MOST IMPORTANT::::: do not say anything about any cheating unless you have rock solid proof.  If you do have that proof, tell her and save her from the STD like I wish my friends had done.

You need to tread carefully here.  You know he is lying.  You  have provided her with information that she needs to deal with these issues.  You can’t control what she does with that or if she is brave enough to confront him.  Don’t try to look for every opportunity to needle her about it, but if something new comes up you can provide what information you might have.

As far as not being in the database you were talking about?  yeah, that would be AKO or whatever they call it now.  If he was in, your Darling Husband would be able to find him there.  I have used it many, many times in the past to find people and if they are “in” they will be there, with their unit and an email address.

Post # 48
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@hermom:  you say you had your head in the sand. Do you think you would have believed them if they told you? Or could your thoughts be hindsight?

Post # 49
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

@Bubbles42:  I would like to think that if they brought me proof I would believe them.  I can tell you that if I ever have concrete proof that my friends husband/so is cheating I won’t hesitate to bring it to them.

Post # 50
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@hermom:  gotcha. Yeah I would tell my best friends or siblings if I had concrete proof.

Post # 51
Member
10451 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Absolutely I would. I’d want to know if it the other way around so I could kick the lying asshole out.

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