(Closed) If you knew your BIL is a cheater….

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What would you do?
    Tell her immediately : (38 votes)
    90 %
    Tell her when she becomes more settled with being a new mom : (0 votes)
    Never tell her : (2 votes)
    5 %
    Other ... : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 16
    3307 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Speck_:  Agree. An assault victim is under no obligation to keep silent for fear of hurting the assailant’s wife, even if it is her sister. This all needs to come out in the open.

    Post # 17
    4060 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would be willing to bet money Michelle at the absolute minimum suspects something, but won’t do anything about it, for whatever reason. A nice decent guy doesn’t act that way out of the blue. Assuming that’s true….I dunno that it will make a difference, it might just make things horribly awkward when she a) doesn’t believe it, or b)stays with him anyway.

    I would not hire a private detective, because I see that as only causing more embarassment. I also wouldn;t tell her their mom knows.

    I would tell her what happened, and just basically say she can do whatever she wants with this info, and i’ll be there, and I owuld follow through with that, even if she stays.


    Post # 18
    6609 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    It doesn’t matter if her sister believes her or not.  She needs to tell her exactly what happened and exactly what he said.  She should probably give it to her in writing as well.  Even if sister hates her for it, she will have that seed of doubt and will start looking for clues.  The possibility of ever seeing the nephew again does not change things – it’s not worth the risk to her health.

    Sister should make it extremely clear that she will do everything in her power to support her if she chooses to leave – let her come home and share the apartment/house until she’s back on her feet, babysit, come help her move out, whatever.

    It would be far more unforgivable to know such a thing and let it slide – from what this ‘man’ has pulled it’s pretty likely he’s assaulted others in the past who haven’t come forward.  He clearly doesn’t accept ‘no’ as an answer to a question he should never have asked in the first place.

    Post # 19
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    As her sister, she owes it to her to let her know. This happened directly to her and no matter how her sister reacts, at the very least she did the best she could do for her. She should let her sister know that she supports her in whatever choice she makes but if she does choose to stay then she’ll be cutting back the time in their home. Her sister probably knows he’s a jack ass anyway to be honest.

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