Post # 1
Found out the proposal was planned for an upcoming family beach trip, but it had to be canceled because of the pandemic and the family is unable to travel. They live in another state and unable to fly. They also have young kids they don’t want to expose to the virus. It is a big bummer for his family because it is a yearly tradition they have been able to do for 20 years. It is the first summer they haven’t been able to do it. However, my boyfriend and I live within driving distance and he wants us to still go – just us. He knows that I’m aware of his original proposal plans. Boyfriend reallly wanted the proposal to be a surprise.
Would you rather be proposed to as planned even though you know?
Would you rather he come up with a new idea at a later date so it can be a surprise?
Post # 2
I think surprises are overrated and I’m not a big fan of postponing joy just to artificially orchestrate a “perfect moment” or surprise. Life is short and unpredictable enough. You’re the exact same amount of engaged whether it was a surprise or not – there’s no extra special bonus engaged points at stake here. I honestly can’t envision being less in love or less moved by my SO declaring his love and asking me to be his wife just because it wasn’t a surprise. I just don’t think a surprise is all that important in the grand scheme of life as long as something is heartfelt and sincere. I’m a big fan of heartfelt and sincere.
Post # 3
If you know it’s coming anyway, does it matter whether you’re “surprised” when he does it? I mean, I think “surprise” is kind of the wrong word here.
I say go and enjoy the time with just the two of you. You’ve basically agreed to get married anyway, so make it a special date where you celebrate that.
Post # 4
Basically since you already know that he plans to propose it kinda takes the surprise out of the moment anyways at this point 🤷🏼♀️ I say just go along as planned and enjoy the alone time and the moment together! Congrats on your upcoming engagement and come back so we can see the ring!
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2021 - Australia
you know, this is an interesting one because my fiance’s original plan was put off due to covid. He still won’t tell me what it is because he still wants to enact it – maybe for an anniversary or something.
Thing is, if he does, or if he tells me, will that make it hurt more than I didn’t get that for my proposal? we had a beautiful, thoughtful and intimate proposal at home which I loved, but when/if we do whatever his big grand gesture is, will I think, oh, I wish THIS had been our story, not what we had?
We also weren’t sure whether to wait until he could do the original plan, or not. Obviously he didn’t want to wait, and I kind of didn’t either. I felt so bad for him, having to put something else together.
So I know what a lot of these feelings you might be having are and all the thoughts that might run through your head and I don’t know what the answer is, but the moment will be happy and special irrespective of whether you know it is coming or not. The end result is you’ve both committed to spending your lives together, which is after all the important bit.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2020 - New York, New York
I was 99.9% sure the engagement was coming because Joey was acting weird and nervous and we were on vacation; he had mentioned that he wanted to propose somewhere different from where we live. Sure enough, he proposed when we were walking on the beach! Even though I strongly suspected he was going to propose, it was still a very emotional moment. I was blissfully happy days after the proposal, so I don’t think knowing ahead of time will make it any less exciting or joyful for you.
Post # 7
Thank you all 🙂 it really is an interesting scenario isnt it? I know I’m not the only one who’s engagement was affected by this pandemic. There is a chance he won’t propose at the beach as planned in order to do it a new way I don’t know about. I’m actually ok with either of those. I just can’t wait until then, however it happens. I hope I will be able to play it cool on the vacation though! LOL.
Post # 8
I was 99% sure when and how I would be proposed to. Didn’t stop me from bursting into happy tears when it happened! The surprise (at least for me) isn’t the how or where he does it–it’s seeing your partner down on one knee and having that “holy crap, this is it” moment. Congratulations on your upcoming engagement!
Post # 10
I knew where, when, and picked out the ring. It made it no less special. Having the man you love get down on one knee and tell you his feelings and then propose marriage is special no matter what <3
Post # 11
Once you’ve talked about marriage and know he is going to propose it’s not really a surprise even if you are not quite sure the moment he is going to ask. You are on high alert so anywhere nice or special or secretive he asks you to do you have a feeling about and will know.
I knew H had the ring and when he asked if I wanted to go to my favorite place later in the week I was 99.9 % sure he would ask. And he did and it was magical.
If he changes plans you’ll still know unless he asks at home or in the grocery store or somewhere you would never expect.
Post # 12
I think since you know about the proposal and knew about the plan it doesn’t really matter when or how it happens, might as well do it at the same place originally planned … especially if that place is a yearly destination and has significance to you and the family!
Post # 13
yes good point! It would be fun to go back next year and show the family where it was. Or better yet, get married there .
haha yep! High alert about everything for sure.
Post # 14
Agree with the PPs- once you know things are in motion and are going to happen, the surprise is out the window. It’s always going to be on your radar, wondering “is this the day?” and reading into things he says and wants to do. Just relax and enjoy the time you have together regardless if it happens.
Post # 15
I suspected a proposal was coming on a trip my fiancé and I took, and he still managed to surprise me, even though I was anticipating it. It didn’t even come close to ruining the moment to know it was coming. It was perfect.
I’ll bet your SO has a plan in mind, so I wouldn’t make him plan again. He has a vision for this, too. 😊