(Closed) if you know 100% someone cant come, do you still send them an invite?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d still send her one and tell her that you’re going to send her one but completely understand that she probably won’t be able to make it, but are sending it to her anyway. 

Post # 4
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, you should still send her an invite.

Post # 5
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We sent invites to those who told us they couldn’t attend.  At least one couple has changed their response, so I would definitely send a formal invitation–you never know!

Post # 6
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would still send her one. If one of my close friends didn’t send me and invite I would be SO HURT. Even if I knew I couldn’t attend.

Post # 7
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@newname_99:  I also thought it would be strange to send invites like that, as I worried it would seem gift-grabby, but I’m glad I did. DH’s stepsister (who I knew wouldn’t make it as she was due to have a baby about two weeks before our date) apparently thought our invite was so cute she put it on her fridge and was glad to be included! So I say yes, send away!

Post # 8
Hostess
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have a few people that I know are not going to be able to come that I am still going to send invitations to anyway. I’ve come to know them as “courtesy invitations.” Here is the way that I look at it- 

Say your best friend is getting married, but you tell her that you are not going to be able to come. But she doesn’t send you an invitation. You say now that you would understand, but you start to question, “Did she really even want me there if I didn’t get an invitation?”

Also, I wouldn’t mistrust international mail. I have mailed out things for more than one client overseas and just always make sure that I put insurance on them. It’s an additional $2-$5 to add it usually. 

Post # 9
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Yes. It’s just the courteous and kind thing, to let her know that you still think of her and, under better circumstances, absolutely would want her there.

Post # 10
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes.  You never know, circumstances may change.

Post # 12
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i would send her an invite too.  that way she doesn’t feel left out even though she can’t come. 

we were in mexico and we sent invites to england.  (the wedding was in canada).   we knew that they were not going to be able to come but they were so pleased to still receive the invite.

suggestion for mailing:  i don’t know if the regular post mail system would be that reliable from mexico to london but the parcel delivery service can be.  we just ordered something from england and it was delivered to our home in mexico in less than two weeks.  i was shocked.  can you put all of the invites to be delivered in england in a parcel and ship it with ups or fedex or dhl to your mother or family member.  then she can open it and drop the invites in the regular post for you.  perhaps the rsvps from guests there can go to your mother (that’s what i did) or they can be simply emailed.

 

Post # 14
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yes, I did. It’s nice to feel included even if you can’t be there. We knew full well several of DH’s friends were going to be deployed and still sent invites to Afghanistan for them anyways. They appreciated it and thought it was sweet even though we knew they couldn’t possibly come.

Post # 15
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes, still send someone an invite even if you are sure they cannot attend.

Post # 16
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@newname_99:  my sister (canada) sent me a christmas card last year at the beginning of december.  i got it in february. lol.  i wouldn’t send anything in regular post but i would send it by a courier company that needs a signature upon receipt.  are you sending a lot of invites to london? 

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