(Closed) If you know he's got the ring: I'm jealous!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

@ElvenHoney:  I am so with you! I wish I knew if he had a ring or there was a timeline!

Post # 4
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Just want to comment on your “poor ovaries!”  My sister-in-law is having her first baby at 39, my roomate had her first baby at 38, and my friend had a baby at 43!  I’m sure they’ll hang in there ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 5
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I’m right there with you guys! Our big trip (the trip I’ve been pinning all my hopes on) is in like a month and a half and I have no indication that the ring has been purchased yet. I’m going to turn into a crazy lady if I don’t get a clue before the trip, I’ve been telling myself he’s waiting so the 30-day return policy is still in effect in case something is wrong with it. 

Post # 6
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ElvenHoney:  I only ever really envied bees who had the timeline talk before I did. With the ring, I really wanted input but I didn’t know how to talk to him about it. But one evening (after a couple of drinks) we talked it all out and went to a jewelry store that weekend I think ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@ElvenHoney: Yes, I totally understand.  Every time a friend has gotten engaged, especially over the last couple years, I’m super jealous.  Why isn’t it my turn?  We try to tell ourselves that relationships move at different paces and he’ll propose someday we have to be patient but let’s face it… that sucks!  And does nothing to abate the jealousy.

 

But at the same time when someone gets excited and thinks or knows that he has the ring, you can’t blame them.  You’d be excited too.

 

Plus, maybe if they’ve been waiting a while too it can give you hope that your time is coming next?

Post # 10
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m so with you on this! If he had the ring, my anxiety would be much less

Post # 11
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@ElvenHoney

 

I feel the pain. I just turned 35 on the 25th. The SO says he wants to marry me, and that we will get married. He even bought a ring. He plans the wedding with me. But still, no proposal. We’ve been dating for going on 3 years now. In the last year, his sister got married, I had 3 friends get married. This year, we have his cousin’s wedding (been dating for just under a year), my boss’ wedding (been dating for just over a year), a friend’s wedding (been dating 2 years), my roommate got engaged (been dating a year), my new roommate is going to get engaged in June (been dating a year). I think that’s it. 

 

 

It’s frustrating to watch these people who are mostly younger, but some around my age get engaged and married in far less time than he’s taking. I don’t understand it, and it is as mysterious as can be. The only thing I know that is holding him back is that he’s worried about providing for me, but I can wait on the wedding, as long as I know the commitment is there. That’s my thing. 

 

 

So, I feel your pain and I hope that it goes well for you, but it looks like you and I might be on the same timeline. Here’s hoping that you get engaged first.

 

Post # 12
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@ElvenHoney:  Did he give you a reason for wanting to wait a few more years? If you’re 35 and you’ve been together for three years, I think you are ready! Can you talk to him and let him know how you’re feeling? Would you be willing to get engaged without a ring if finances are holding you back?

Sorry to grill you! I definitely feel like Bees whose FIs have the ring really need to chill out, although I’m not necessarily jealous. I do feel bad for those whose FIs are sitting on the ring waiting for the perfect moment. I feel like it’s a little cruel to drag it out if the Bee knows about it.

Post # 13
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@braverbeating:  

@ElvenHoney:  

same boat… <sigh> even the mention of a ring or a timeline would be fantastic right about now!

Post # 14
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I have much empathy for you. He said at least two years and as of two weekends ago he said that he doesn’t feel grown up enough (26) to get married.

Post # 15
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

@aithinne:  but I can wait on the wedding, as long as I know the commitment is there. That’s my thing. <so much this!

@ElvenHoney:  I want to be proposed to! If I want that romantic tradition<me too!

@emmalyn:  word…like tell me you’re not ready for a year but this is my year…something!

Post # 16
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

Not speaking from experience or anything :3 and I’m not really responding to most of your points… But sometimes when a man has a ring it still isn’t a sure fire thing that he will propose. I mean, we have threads where men return the ring, where the ring has been in the house for a crazy amount of time, like over a year or something, and the guy is still not making any moves.

I think that would just be awful, because it would tell me that “I was interested in proposing to you for a while but not anymore”. Also if you know there’s a ring literally every second of your life will now be “it is now?… No… How about now???… No…”. 

 

Lol ๐Ÿ™‚ generally I totally agree with you, and I’m sorry your timeline isn’t what you’d like, but it can still be hard for the gals who know there’s a ring as well ^^

 

 

 ETA: sorry about this being in bold, I’m on my phone and I don’t know why this is happening XD

 

 

 

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