Post # 1
I decided to make a profile on OKCupid because why the hell not, I guess…
But I’ve been inundated with messages that really say nothing more than “hi, how are you” or comment on my appearance, making it very obvious they didn’t even read my profile. Now I’m aware that’s probably normal for this website… But are there ever any guys who actually message you with something of substance to say? And how likely is that to happen?
OR do people generally have more success with the non-free websites? I don’t want to bother to pay for an account on match.com or eharmony or whatever if it’s just going to be more of the same drivel, but I would consider it if it would increase my chances of meeting a good guy… One who has something more to say than “wow, you have a very beautiful smile” which he clearly sends to every girl.
edit: And please don’t be misled by my username. I’m not out there trolling for a groom ASAP. Just wanting to meet a nice guy who could potentially lead to a relationship. I made this account back when I was dating my long-term ex.
Post # 2
I met my SO on OkCupid, buying general I found most of the messages I got were along the lines of what you have been receiving.
A lot(but not all) of the people on the free sites will be using them just to look for casual dating or hookups, but there will still be some gems on there.unfortunately you just have to trawl through the rubbish to find them!
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
I tried a few and the free ones never came to anything. Signed up to eHarmony and shelled out the $$$ for it and three years later am married to a man I met there (and my former housemate is married to a woman he met on there). I figured that if you have to pay, you’ll weed out the time wasters and if you’ve taken the time to go through and answer all the questions eHarmony asks, you’re more likely to send meaningful messages. Seems to have worked for me!
Post # 4
I met my husband on match.com I think if you are willing to pay then it shows you are more serious about looking so probably won’t have as many “time wasters”. I hope you find one that is right for you!
Post # 5
I met my SO (hopefully soon to be FI!) on Match. I figured that if you pay for it you are most likely to encounter people who take it a bit more seriously, and that was my SO’s view on it to.
Of course you still get your non-commital, time-wasting idiots, but that’s the work of online dating for you. I went on quite a few dates on Match (about 15-20 I think over the course of a year) and all round I found it a very good experience.
When I met my SO I just knew he was special 🙂
Post # 6
I just got married 3 weeks ago, we met on Match. One of my friends has been married for 3 years to a man she also met on match. My boss met his fiancée on match after he saw how well it had worked for me. I think that if people were willing to pay, they were probably looking for more than just a hook up.
Post # 7
I met my Fiance on, you not gonna believe it, Yahoo personals. It’s free for small time, then i paid like $20 for 3 months. But i didn’t need to be on there for so long, I met him on day #5 online. Actually I sent him a”nice smile” message, and it doesn’t mean that I’m a dumb flake, OP, it’s just means that I’m interested in what this guy is saying, and attracted to the way he looks. A short note like that is how people start the conversation. The good part about the online dating, regardless of the website, is that you can prescreen the”candidates” based on what they are saying before giving them any personal info like telephone or address. I politely told quite a few of them that we would not work out as a couple well before I set a date #1, because their maturity level was very far behind.
Post # 8
I met my Fiance on POF four years ago, we get married in 1.5 weeks 🙂
I had past relationships from POF, and also tried eHarmony unsuccessfully.(paid, was matched 98% with my highschool bully and didnt renew haha)
Post # 9
I met my other half on match and we get married in under 5 weeks. I didn’t try any free websites, so can’t compare.
Post # 10
I met my Fiance on tinder😂😆 My advice is to go on as many dates as possible-I found it impossible to get a real ‘feel’ for people online so rather than chatting to people for weeks I’d arrange a date and take things from there. Worked for me!
Post # 11
I haven’t tried myself, but I know plenty of people who did and they all only had luck on Match or eHarmony (actually, maybe only match now that I think about it). I know two people who tried POF and were both inundated with messages looking for hook ups or affairs. Not bashing the site or the people who use it, but you might have better luck with the pay site. Good luck!
Post # 12
Met my fiancé on Plenty of Fish of all places. I had used OKCupid before that. I received a multitude of messages like the ones you described and even some naughty photos (not even requested, they were part of the dude’s first message to me). I’ve also been messaged by guys old enough to be my grandfather and guys looking for a person to join him and his wife in a threesome. It was pretty frustrating.
Overall, you have to wade through a lot of crap to find the good guys. My fiancé’s first message to me was totally different from anyone else, which immediately caught my attention. He continued to stand out from the crowd after that and now we’re getting married in 2 months!
Good luck, OP.
Post # 13
WannaBeABride: I’m marrying the person I met on match. I never tried any other website. I was on match for a few weeks, and I started dating my now fiance. All the responses and messages on match were serious and much more in depth. I think it they pay for it, they’re more serious about actually trying to find a match. But my sister has been dating a guy for the past 5-6 months she met on tinder…haha. Sometimes you just luck out, I guess!
Post # 14
I met my husband on EHarmony, so I recommend that. Two other people I know met their spouses (really quality people) on OKCupid. Online dating (in my experience) is mainly a numbers game. I went on plenty of good and bad dates before meeting my husband.
Post # 15
I met my fiancé on okcupid. I found that my okcupid experience improved greatly when I started messaging guys I was interested in rather than just waiting to see who wrote me first. I went on dates with a couple of cool guys before I met my fiancé. There are lots of creepy dudes online, but there are lots of them in real life too. At least online you can tell if they’re creepy before you waste your time going on a date with them (usually).
I was the first girl to send my Fiance a message first on okc. I lived a little farther away than he was looking. But we chatted, then had some phone calls, then our first date… And the rest is history.
Where ever you look for dates – have fun! Good luck!