(Closed) If you or people you know had success with online dating… what sites are good?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I met my Darling Husband on Plenty of Fish. I tried OkCupid and Match.com as well. Match was the only one I paid for but I got the same messages on that one that I did on Pof and OkC. I also found that I got a lot more messages on the free sites then I did on Match. 

I went on more dates with guys from Pof then the other 2 sites. Some were good dates and some weren’t. When my Darling Husband messaged me (May 2012) I was actually about to take my profile down and take a break from dating. He lived put of state and was just looking for someone to talk to. So I figured why not – I was giving dating a break and who doesn’t want a new friend, lol.

We spoke for 4 months before meeting – he developed feelings early on but didn’t tell me. And I developed them a few months later and didn’t tell him because I figured he still just wanted a friendship. We made plans to meet(September 2012) – he came to NY and we spent the whole day together. He went back home and three days later confessed his feelings to me and we became a couple. Long distance was hard but we made it through. He moved to NY 7 months later(April 2013). We were engaged 11 months (August 2013) after meeting face to face and married this past November. 

I have a friend who also met his wife on Plenty of fish. I kmow around my area it gets a bad rap but I think like all sites there are genuine people and not so genuine people. It is all about weeding them out.

Post # 17
15 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ugh I’ve been wondering if I should try the online dating stuff too. It is nice to hear so many success stories!!

Post # 18
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I met my fiance on match.com!  I found a deal online and paid like $47 for 3 months, but ended up meeting him within the first two weeks of joining.

Post # 19
4246 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I met my fiance on OK Cupid.  I had to wade through SO MANY messages with zero substance, and I went on SO MANY not awesome dates, and I kissed SO MANY frogs, but once I met my fiance, we just clicked.  I did meet a fair number of decent guys through OKC.  I had a consistent amount of dates too, just no one who clicked as well as I did with my fiance.

You’ll get creeps on any site, no matter if you pay or not.  It’s a matter of not losing hope and using the block button LIBERALLY.  Other recommendations: meet in a public place, make sure at least one friend knows where you are.  I always met for coffee or something low key for the first dates.  This made it really easy to either extend the date into a walk in the park or lunch or something, OR it made it easy to say “hey, look at the time, I have to go” if things weren’t going well.  My first date with my fiance was for lunch and before we knew it we had been talking for over three hours!

Post # 20
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My mom met her bf on plentyoffish. I told her to try it when I knew Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker used it. I can’t remember exactly when she started dating her bf: 3 or 4 years. He already proposed but my mom is a crazy control freak so idk how soon things will move forward. They’ve been living together for over a year.

My friend met her bf on OKcupid. 6+ months together, not living together yet.

^Her sister met her bf on Tumblr. Been together for 4 years, living together for about 3.

Another girl I know met her bf on Tinder, together for close to a year. Her previous bf was from omegle but she ended it after 3 or so years because there was no end in sight to their long distance.

I met my husband on omegle 5 years ago this xmas. We were long distance for 1.5 years then got engaged & moved in together at the 2 year mark.

Post # 21
288 posts
Helper bee

I met my Boyfriend or Best Friend on POF over 3 years ago, but I saw a lot of the same people on Match too. I think they all sort of do the same job, and there are people looking for hookups on Match too, but you have to sift through and find the diamond in the rough.

Post # 22
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I met my Fiance on Match and my best friend met her Fiance on eHarmony. I had also tried the free sites previously, and while I didn’t have any horrible experiences or anything, they obviously didn’t work out as well as Match. I would agree with some PPs that generally people who are willing to pay are looking for something more serious (not always, but usually!). 

Post # 23
3915 posts
Honey bee

I met my husband four years ago on Plenty of Fish. You definitely have to wade through the creeps and guys wanting hookups, but its pretty obvious which is which just by their initial messages. I personally don’t think free versus paid really matters. My husband was on a free site, because he just moved to a new town, his friends told him to use that one, and he was way too skeptical to spend money on a paid site. I also wanted to be on a free site, because I didn’t think much would come of it and didn’t want to get too serious with it. I also ended up being the one to message my husband first, so don’t be afraid to talk to someone who seems like they might be genuine…you might have better luck making the first move! It turned out pretty darn well for us!

Post # 24
589 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)

WannaBeABride:  I met my Darling Husband on OkCupid, I used eharmony in the past and they were about the same for me. Eharmony has free communication weekends fairly often if you want to wait for one and try it out for free before you buy. OkCupid improves the more questions you answer (gives you a more accurate match percentage) so if you haven’t answered many questions I would definitely get on doing that. I think when I met Darling Husband I had answered 800 of its questions. I agree with a PP who said that you don’t have to wait to be messaged, look through your matches and message the guys you want to! Any online dating site is going to come with the good and the bad, it’s just the nature of it, but there are definitely great guys out there! 

Post # 25
190 posts
Blushing bee

I met my SO on tinder! Tinder gets a bad rep but I think it can happen if you keep your options open.  It takes the pressure off men to “date” and everyone can just be themselves and tell you straight up what it is they’re looking for.  

I probably never would’ve met SO on eharmony or match, because I have a daughter, and he would’ve more than likely chose the “no kids” option (he had never considered having children or wanting them before)…so it would’ve weeded me out from his matches right off the bat.  Tinder made it to where if he liked me, he had to get to know me beforehand, versus reading a profile and deciding if I was or was not what he was looking for.  

Post # 26
90 posts
Worker bee

I met my SO on match.com. We have a ring picked out, and he is planning on proposing around Christmas. My boss also met his wife on match.

Post # 27
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I met my Fiance on OKCupid, but then I also met my ex-husband there so do with that information what you will. 🙂 I had the same experience as you, lots of shallow emails to wade through in order to find the one or two guys actually worth communicating with. My Fiance was the only guy I reached out to first. I made a joke to him in one of our early messages about how he should feel honored because, as a woman, I’m used to the men of OkCupid flocking to me. I, of course, meant that in a completely joking way since 99% of the attention I got on there was from undesirable guys who clearly didn’t read my profile and sent the same stock message to every woman within a 15-mile radius, usually involving some compliment on my physical attributes and mentioning nothing about the content of my profile or my personality. He read that and worried that I was full of myself or something, but fortunately he hung in there long enough to realize that’s not what I’m like at all. Online dating is usually a long process, and it requires a lot of separating the wheat from the chaff, so hang in there! It’s frustrating and discouraging at times, but be proactive and message the guys you like, rather than waiting for them to notice you. It worked for me!

Post # 28
5159 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

I never tried the free sites. I have tried Match, lavalife (is that even still around?) and eHarmony. I met my husband of now 5 1/2 years on eHarmony. We both had the thought that people who are paying (and, in the case of eHarmony, took the time to answer the zillion and one questions needed to set up your profile in the first place) might be taking it more seriously. Also, again for eHarmony, the “opening questions” they had (or you could use, which we both always did…my husband calls th message system a gauntlet…as in running the gauntlet) were a great way to feel out potential dates and screen out more questionable matches.

We were both on there about a month or two before we were matched, met within a week or so of our first communications, and were engaged/married 12-15 months later. 

I had good experiences online dating, and used it on and off over the years…had a few dates, a few shorter and 1-2 longer relationships, but overall it was very good. EHarmony was the first site my husband ever used, and that month or so was the first time I had used that particular site too, but we were both very good about using the sites features to screen and help it choose better matches – like rating matches and so on. We both declined a lot of matches; he went on one other date before me through eHarmony, I went on a few more. None were bad, just not the right fit for whatever reason, but my husband and I just clicked from the start.

I initiated the communication with my husband by the way. I think it has turned out pretty well for both of us, lol. I definitely think you need to take some intitiative online dating, if there is someone you are interested in. 

Post # 29
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I met my Fiance on eharmony, and had fun flirting on OK Cupid.

I was not paying for eharmony at the time, but it happened to be a free communication weekend when I got an email that someone (my FI) had messaged me. I was actually the first person eharmony had matched my Fiance with when he signed up a couple years ago when he moved to my city. We had a really awkward first date (I took myself out of the game for like 7 years prior to dating my FI), and then kept at it.

With any of these sites (both paid and free), you have to put in effort and not expect people to just flock to you. A witty profile is a good first step, but you have to send messages too, and expect to go out on awful dates! OK Cupid especially – it’s full of creepers, you have to do the messaging for sure!

Post # 30
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I tried POF but didn’t enjoy it.

I met my now Fiance on eharmony three years ago! An eharmony profile is a lot of work to set up.. loads of questions and you have to pay. In my experience people who had gone to that effort of setting up a profile seemed to put effort into their communication. That being said I have some friends who have had success on OK Cupid!

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