(Closed) If you or people you know had success with online dating… what sites are good?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

WannaBeABride:  I met MrEvergreen on match.  just celebrated our first wedding anniversary last month.  I tried eHarmony a few years before Match and noticed that no one I was messaging wanted to meet in person, for coffee or whatever, or even talk on the phone. Lol. That, to me, was a waste of time and $$$. Match was cheaper than eHarmony if I remember correctly and I went on a LOT of dates before I met Mr Evergreen. It was totally worth it in my opinion.

Post # 32
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI

WannaBeABride:  I met Darling Husband on OkCupid. Yes I got a lot of similar messages that you mention, but hang in there. Darling Husband always left thoughtful messages that showed he read my profile and was truly interested in getting to know me. I had tried Eharmony and didn’t have any better luck with that site. One piece of advice, Darling Husband lived a bit further than I originally wanted but he was clearly worth it!  My SIL also met her bf that they’re talking marriage on OkCupid. 

Answer the silly questions because they’re great conversation starters and can be really telling about the person you’re talking to. Also, Darling Husband and I were very open and honest about what we were looking for in terms of a relationship and both very marriage minded and no games. 

Post # 33
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

I think it depends on the area, but apparently where I live the people on match and eharmony also use the free ones, so you won’t necessarily do better on those.

Stay away from POF. Full of trash not going to lie.

OkCupid is your best bet. And if you don’t like your messages, then be the one to initiate yourself. 

Post # 34
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

I met my SO on Match.com. It took some effort communicating with people, and a few bad dates, but it worked out great in the end! We just moved in together a few months ago!

Post # 35
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I met Darling Husband on Plenty of Fish but I wouldn’t exactly sing a ringing endorsement for the website or anything.  Mostly I was on it to “put myself out there” because I wasn’t having any luck meeting people naturally.  I had the same experience, a lot of messages from people with no effort and “Hi, how are you” is pretty good compared to some of the horrible other messages I received to be entirely honest.

You can luck out on any site but if I had to suggest something to a friend, I would suggest Match or eHarmony.  It seems you deal with less of the BS on the pay sites.

Post # 36
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

I met my SO on POF.com (which I believe has been bought by Match or something now). It is a free site and I know multiple other couples that have met there also. We have been together for 3.5 years now so thats a good review for it.

Just beware, there is like a 3:1 ratio of guys to girls on that site so you will definitely have to sift through all the messages you get (you mayyyy encounter a few d pics).

Also, don’t reply to people you’re not interested in, it makes them upset when you try to make it clear later. I just wanted to be nice and reply to everyone but that’s a bad idea. 

 

RoseDaisyLily : Oh yes, calling all people on POF trash is just so classy.

Post # 37
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

lindsayE:  Yep, I messaged my Darling Husband first too, on OkCupid! I was tired of getting contacted by guys who I had no interest in dating.

OP, don’t be afraid to do your own search based on your criteria and message a few guys with interesting profiles. Just because the site is free doesn’t mean that there are only losers and players on there. My Darling Husband is educated and he has a good job. He liked OkCupid because he’s frugal and he liked the quizzes, haha. Two of my guy friends who are successful lawyers also had luck with OkCupid – one of them recently proposed to the sweetest girl who even came out for my bachelorette party, the other moved to the west coast with his gf and they’re pretty serious.

Post # 38
Member
747 posts
Busy bee

I met my So on OKcupid.  He started the convo by saying “Hi.  How are you?”  But then, ya know, I said hi back and we started a convo that way.  I dont understand writing someone off because they just said hi.  That’s how convos start. 🙂

Post # 39
Member
3064 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

WannaBeABride:  I met my Darling Husband on match

I agree with the other posters that the websites that make you pay are a little better, but I know a ton of people in the younger crowd use Tinder

Also what is wrong with hi how are you ? in a personal message? Something to get the convo going, you have to try talking to people a little bit to see if you are comptatible. I wouldnt judge a first message so harshly unless it was like ‘ your hot’ or ‘wanna hook up’ lol

Post # 40
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I tried ALL of the dating sites and ended up meeting my Fiance on OKCupid. I had no luck whatsoever with eHarmony. I met a Boyfriend or Best Friend on Match but it didn’t work out (he was kinda… unhinged). I also met my last Boyfriend or Best Friend before Fiance on OKCupid. I think PlentyofFish is more of a meat market than OKCupid, at least in my area. PoF had a less desirable clientele as well; OKC seemed to be mostly young professionals.

Fiance wrote me a really nice, thought out message. I was actually the first (and only) person he met from online. He told me that he had a really hard time getting responses from women even though he was sure to read their profile and write something thoughtful. I think that’s how you end up with tons of guys just writing “hey ur cute”… they just want someone, ANYONE to answer them.

Post # 41
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - Ballroom

I met my Fiance on Match. My cousin met her husband on Match. I have a very good friend/work colleague who met her husband on Match. So, yeah, I’m a big believer in that site!  

Post # 42
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

WannaBeABride:  I think you will get those “Hey” or “Hi” or “Heyyyyy” messages on any site you go on. Think of online dating like going to a bar; you meet all sorts of people. Some are nice, some are rude, some are odd, and some are compatible with you. 

I met SO on match.com. He was one of the few people who contacted me and had something to say that was relevant to my profile. I got a lot of “hey sexy” or “wow, did it hurt when you fell from heaven” craptastic messages and just I ignored them. They weren’t worth the 2 seconds it would take for me to reply. I replied only to emails that were relevant, well written, and genuine. 

Overall, I think online dating is the same as most any other dating venue, there are a lot of people you won’t mesh with and a few you will. I think the main advantage online dating has over other methods is that there is a great deal more people for you to interact with and you know for a fact (before interacting with them) that they are on the dating market. 

ETA: I see many PPs suggesting that “hi, how are you?” is a fair initial message to receive and I can see the validity in that. I think opinions on this will vary from person to person. For me, those messages just proved they didn’t read anything in my profile. On the other hand, the message didn’t have to be a 2 paragraph sonnet relating to every point I made in my profile. I think if they tacked on a relevant part (e.g. “Hi, how’s it going? I see you’re a fan of x team, did you catch y game?”) then I would be happy to reply.

If I recall correctly, SO’s original message to me was a one sentence comment on a picture I had of me with my dog in Christmas antlers. I think it was something along the lines of, “Poor thing! I have a similar picture of my animal except I put a football helmet on him!” It was simple but relevant, and obviously worked on me. 🙂

Post # 43
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I met my Fiance on POF. He was the ONLY man to write me an email with any substance. Thankfully he sent that email on the day I was ready to delete my account because I was so frustrated with emails from guys who sounded like creeps. 

Good Luck! Try a few different websites perhaps? 

Post # 44
Member
1569 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I met my Fiance on OkCupid. I was also on Plenty of Fish, and sadly Tinder was before my time. All the messages I got on POF were from creepers, so I didtched that pretty quickly.

 

I will say that the best luck I had (and how I met FI) was by me messaging guys I found interesting. I don’t think you’ll get as much out of it if you wait for people to find you.

Post # 45
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

RoseDaisyLily:  Pof gets a bad rap in my area – it is known as the biggest hookup site but there are still legit and genuine people on there looking for more than just hookups. It is definitely not full of trash. I met my Darling Husband there and a friend met his wife there (we are not trash). There also seems to be a few bees who replied to this post who also met their SO, Fiance and Darling Husband on Pof.

In my experience OkCupid – was not a good site for me. Met a total creep who just wouldn’t take no for an answer. With thay said – I wouldn’t tell the OP to stay away from a whole site just because I had a bad experience. She might actually end up having a better experience than I did on that particular site. So many factors play a role in who contacts someone and who doesn’t. 

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