Post # 1
I was married once before but it only last a year and it’s now been 12 years since we divorced. We have not spoken since although I did see him out once but made sure he did not see me. It was a typical drama filled unhealthy relationship and we were both way too young and immature to be married.
He contacted me on Facebook recently and I have not responded. I have to admit I’m curious how he is doing and what life has brought him but would it be inappropriate to write back? Darling Husband is fine if I do respond but I don’t want to do it if deep down he would bring it up later or something.
Anyone else keep in touch with their ex husband if there are no kids involved?
Post # 3
I don’t think it is a good idea to keep in touch with the ex. Although your Darling Husband thinks it is okay, you really have no reason to be this guys friend. Let the past go…don’t go digging up bones 🙂 In My Humble Opinion
Post # 4
I had a partner at one point for three years. We have rarely been in touch since then, primarily because she now lives far enough away that it would be a hassle to get together. However, she has occasionally called me about things (e.g., wanting contact information for a particular doctor or lawyer), and our conversations are always cordial.
Honestly, I don’t see a lot of issues with having him as a Facebook friend, so long as you aren’t still carrying a torch for him.
Post # 5
No…we tried but the first girl he dated anded up hating the fact that we were still friends and we haven’t spoken since. I believe he is now re-married with stepkids. I’m very happy for him but for multiple reasons it just didn’t work out as friends. It’s too bad too…that was one of the only things we were good at!
Post # 6
I did and we kept in contact when toying with the idea of reconciliation.
After that ship sailed, we don’t speak.
Post # 7
Thanks ladies. I’m still mulling it over. I really would love to be back in touch with my ex SIL, we were good friends back then and she looks like she’s recently divorced. We’ll see how it goes.
Post # 8
I did… and for awhile we were very close. He met my BF when we first started dating, he came to get-togethers, we had lunch. And then he started flirting with me again. So we stopped hanging out as much. He’s in a band, so the Boyfriend or Best Friend and I would still go see him and there was an occasional call or two. But then I found out his car was reposessed and I was still on the loan… so I had to go pay off his car loan and have it damage my credit anyway. And he has a lot of drama going on with new girlfriends and being a mild alcoholic. So we dont talk anymore.
I know I’ve heard that some people can be friends with their exes… and I though I could be with mine. But I guess the same reasons we divorced are the reasons we cant be friends.
Post # 9
exactly trishisadish! I don’t think it is healthy. There are reasons you are no longer married. I generally I found is not because you are no longer friends in your marriage. I got divorced due to the same reasons. But now getting married because I found someone I am friends and lovers with. It is GREAT!
Post # 10
bthurber- I realize NOW how unhealthy and potentially damaging trying to be such close friends with my ex was. And of course my bf, we aren’t engaged yet, tried being friends with his ex as well and that was VERY unhealthy and caused a LOT of damage to our relationship.
Congratulations on finding the RIGHT person this time!
Post # 11
I only kept in touch with my ex only for the car that we co-signed for. It was a huge pain in the butt. He wasn’t very nice about it and sometimes I hung up crying because talking to him was so upsetting.
He did a lot of terrible things that were covered in dirt. He cheated on me and then abandoned me. I would not want to be on friendly terms with him even now. He took so much away from me and he’s been able to go back home without the slightest shame…While I was stuck trying to explain to my family what happened.
Post # 12
Nope! Once I’m done, I’m done! No looking back!
Post # 13
I know I’m in the minority here. Following our amicable divorce (after being together for 14 years) we are still friendly. We don’t see each other, but we do keep in touch. Just occasional emails or phone calls. Honestly, it makes me feel better about initiating the divorce that we can still be kind to each other.
If one of us needs a favor, we can ask. Although he doesn’t know that I will soon be engaged. I am kind of dreading telling him b/c I know it will hurt him. I know he’s dating and I just hope he can find someone that is right for him.