(Closed) If you that have been married before but no kids…do you keep in touch w/ ex H?

posted 9 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think it is a good idea to keep in touch with the ex.  Although your Darling Husband thinks it is okay,  you really have no reason to be this guys friend.  Let the past go…don’t go digging up bones 🙂 In My Humble Opinion

Post # 4
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I had a partner at one point for three years.  We have rarely been in touch since then, primarily because she now lives far enough away that it would be a hassle to get together.  However, she has occasionally called me about things (e.g., wanting contact information for a particular doctor or lawyer), and our conversations are always cordial.

Honestly, I don’t see a lot of issues with having him as a Facebook friend, so long as you aren’t still carrying a torch for him.

Post # 5
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

No…we tried but the first girl he dated anded up hating the fact that we were still friends and we haven’t spoken since. I believe he is now re-married with stepkids. I’m very happy for him but for multiple reasons it just didn’t work out as friends. It’s too bad too…that was one of the only things we were good at!

Post # 6
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I did and we kept in contact when toying with the idea of reconciliation. 

After that ship sailed, we don’t speak.

Post # 8
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

I did… and for awhile we were very close. He met my BF when we first started dating, he came to get-togethers, we had lunch. And then he started flirting with me again. So we stopped hanging out as much. He’s in a  band, so the Boyfriend or Best Friend and I would still go see him and there was an occasional call or two. But then I found out his car was reposessed and I was still on the loan… so I had to go pay off his car loan and have it damage my credit anyway. And he has a  lot of drama going on with new girlfriends and being a mild alcoholic. So we dont talk anymore.

I know I’ve heard that some people can be friends with their exes… and I though I could be with mine. But I guess the same reasons we divorced are the reasons we cant be friends.

Post # 9
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

exactly trishisadish!  I don’t think it is healthy.  There are reasons you are no longer married.  I generally I found is not because you are no longer friends in your marriage.  I got divorced due to the same reasons.  But now getting married because I found someone I am friends and lovers with.  It is GREAT!

Post # 10
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

bthurber- I realize NOW how unhealthy and potentially damaging trying to be such close friends with my ex was. And of course my bf, we aren’t engaged yet, tried being friends with his ex as well and that was VERY unhealthy and caused a LOT of damage to our relationship.

Congratulations on finding the RIGHT person this time!

 

Post # 11
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I only kept in touch with my ex only for the car that we co-signed for. It was a huge pain in the butt. He wasn’t very nice about it and sometimes I hung up crying because talking to him was so upsetting.

He did a lot of terrible things that were covered in dirt. He cheated on me and then abandoned me. I would not want to be on friendly terms with him even now. He took so much away from me and he’s been able to go back home without the slightest shame…While I was stuck trying to explain to my family what happened.

Post # 12
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Nope! Once I’m done, I’m done! No looking back!

Post # 13
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I know I’m in the minority here. Following our amicable divorce (after being together for 14 years) we are still friendly. We don’t see each other, but we do keep in touch. Just occasional emails or phone calls. Honestly, it makes me feel better about initiating the divorce that we can still be kind to each other.

If one of us needs a favor, we can ask. Although he doesn’t know that I will soon be engaged. I am kind of dreading telling him b/c I know it will hurt him. I know he’s dating and I just hope he can find someone that is right for him.

 

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