- 9 years ago
- Wedding: April 2010
Summer 2008 – my parish priest has a stroke and for the rest of the year we have visiting priests till we get a semi perminant priest once it becomes obvious to the diocese that our priest will not regain his short term memory and be able to resume duties. The new priest is from India, though even he doesn’t know how long the diocese will keep him at our parish. He’s also newly ordained and younger than me.
December 2008 – my boyfriend proposes to me. I accept. We decide to marry in October ’09 in a Traditional Latin Mass (his desire for it stronger than mine, though I agree it will be beautiful). We first call the Institute of Christ the King, but my parents point out that mosts of our guests are already having to travel, and having it there would be an additional 3 hour drive (I didn’t realize how far away Wausau was). We contact my parish and are adviced that we can have a traditional latin Mass provided we can find a priest who knows the rite. Once we find a priest, we’re told we need to meet with my pastor or the pastor at the church we’ll be marrying at.
January 2009 – I start calling around to the point I’m calling the diocese’s office about 3 times to get phone numbers or contacts. I’m able to find one priest excited and interested about assisting us, but he can’t commit till June as he’s expecting to be reassigned parishes. Meanwhile I know my fiance’ has to return to school in less than a month, and I won’t be able to see him again till March. We find out my fiance’ has a class starting earlier than expected. The weekend before he leaves, we talk to my priest after Mass asking whether we need to be together to start the process or whether I can continue my search and arrange the wedding without my fiance’ around. My priest says my fiance’ doesn’t need to be around.
I then start calling other parishes again primarily for locations to have the wedding, but get fed up after getting a rude secretary who questioned my honesty about being a parishioner at another parish. I finally just decide to arrange it at my parish and schedule an appointment, happy I can finally get a date set. My priest then meets with me and insists that my fiance’ has to be with me to start the process and tells me this really confusing outrageous procedure that basically means I can’t set a date till the summer!
I meet with my spiritual director who refers me to the Dean of the Deanery. So I call the Dean. Hurray! Should I call the bishop next? Yeesh! The Dean contacts my new parish priest, and I get an email from my new parish priest that he can arrange our wedding for October even if we meet as late as Feburary. Obviously the two of us can’t meet that early as we’re separated by a 9 hour drive.
I pray about it more and all the stress its brought and the fact that its distracting my fiance’ from his school work. I also think about the economy, the fact that my fiance’ will be on a job search in this economy and the strain on our relationship. I talk it over with my fiance’ and we push back the wedding till spring 2010 (At latest April 10, the weekend after Easter, but perhaps during Lent…though I can see some potential problems with having it during Lent, not that the Divine Mercy weekend might be too busy for priests as well! AHH!!) We decide I’ll arrange to get all the needed paperwork and I’ll try on dresses and sort of preplan the wedding so that when we’re back in active planning mode, it won’t be as stressful.
His parents arrange to contact parishes to get my fiance’ baptism, communion and confirmation certificate.
Feb 2009 – I start receiving the baptism certificate and communion certificate. The parish he was confirmed at has LOST his confirmation certificate, and the priest who confirmed him past away. I contact some friends and ask if he needs a conditional confirmation like a conditional baptism. They state that we could get a sopena (or something else) confirming that the witnesses witnessed a Catholic confirmation. My fiance’ talks similarly to a priest at a parish he is attending, and gets the same answer. Ironcally the only witnesses my fiance’ remembers are his parents. I have no idea if that’s enough evidence as they have no pictures of his confirmation! But it’s the direction we were put on rather than arranging for him to get conditionally confirmed again. Oh, that’s a whole other potential headache!
March 2009- Some things happen in my family that put more strain on things, but its personal, so I don’t feel like informing the entire world. The priest at the Institute of Christ the King calls me and says that if our current priest for the Latin Mass falls through, to call him and that he’d be willing to travel to another parish. I visit my fiance’. I find out that another couple who’d set up to be married this summer with our previous priest (before he had the stroke) is being told from our current priest that the wedding is far too soon and that he can’t do it.
Tragedy strikes my parish (again personal so not getting into specifics), and it feels like the last straw. I toy with switching parishes, but know I can’t till I’m done teaching CCD this year. I then attend Mass at my parish and feel an intense family connection. I also find out our current young priest may be leaving in the summer and we’ll be gaining possibly another new priest (though I know the diocese’ ultimate plan is to combine parishes).
I decide I don’t want my wedding at my parish, but that I’m not all together set on leaving my parish. I feel like I’m abandoning my family during a time of crisis.
I go to a reunion with college friends (other devout Catholics) and the impression I get its unusual for a priest to insist that he can’t start wedding arrangements prior to meeting with the couple together. Meanwhile throughout the reunion, I find in my soul a hunger for the reverence of the traditional Latin Mass, and I feel a general appreciation for my fiance and how blessed I am for having him. I realize fighting for the traditional Latin Mass is what I want to do. And I know the Montu Proprio from the Pope supports me in my pursuit. I don’t have to worry about getting permission from the bishop.
April 2009 – I decide to try the parish again with the rude secretary, but this time just to schedule an appointment with the priest and talk to him about the situations at my parish, my torn feelings about leaving, and my pursuit of a traditional Latin Mass wedding. I still like that parish and I’ve worked with the director of religious education there. I decide to try to talk to the DRE first to see if I can get my foot in the door. But then I realize its Holy Week, the busiest time of the year for priests and decide to hold off till after Easter.
Honestly though I’m upset at myself for not being more upbeat and positive, looking at all this stuff, I feel like I’m handling it all with amazing patience.