(Closed) "If you want marriage, don't marry someone who won't elope."

posted 7 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: For you and your SO, is/was eloping ever an option?

    No, not for me

    No, not for my SO

    Maybe, for me

    Maybe, for my SO

    Yes, for me

    Yes, for my SO

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @ladyamalthea:  Eloping was never an option for us. I wouldn’t do it and neither would FH. Instead, we’re having a small, low budget ceremony and party with just our immediate and close extended families and closest friends, like 40 people at the most. We want the most important people in our lives to be with us when we start this new chapter in our lives.

    ETA- I wouldn’t actually have a problem with eloping. But it would bother me that my parents wouldn’t at least be there. Also, weddings are a pretty big deal in FH’s culture so we want to honour that as well.

    Post # 33
    Member
    7603 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If eloping was the absolute only way we could get married than I would have done it, however, it wasn’t something I really wanted to do.

    Post # 34
    Member
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @ladyamalthea:  That sounds like a poorly thought out off the cuff statement from your friend.  I get the point, but I really don’t think many people actually get married just to have a pretty princess day.  I like to believe that the vast majority of people get married for the marriage.

    Eloping was never an option for my fiance or I – getting married in the Catholic Church was essential, as was including our families.  I think that having shared values that we can discuss with each other will bode better for our future marriage than an arbitrary willingness to elope.

    Post # 35
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    We considered the “take the money and run” option, but decided against it. 

    I’m guessing it was advice aimed towards men, regarding the general concern that women just want a big wedding and not a marriage, or materialism/values…but frankly what I see all over these boards, especially the waiting board, is women who love weddings and value family/community and want to celebrate that commitment, but when it comes down to it, THEY JUST WANT TO BE MARRIED.

    Post # 36
    Member
    1348 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yes for me, and I woukd actually prefer it. Maybe for my SO, his family is a lot tighter than mine and my family nakes me anxious. Plus he doesn’t mibd being the center of attention and I recoil at just the thought of being observed.

    Post # 37
    Member
    4943 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think there’s truth in that. Plus, I did elope! Laughing

    Post # 38
    Member
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would seriously consider eloping, especially if I could bring my parents and sisters (does that still count?). Fiance is very excited about the wedding and is very against eloping. I just keep telling him he better help with all the wedding planning then cause I’m already thinking eloping sounds tempting and we’re two weeks into our engagement.

    Post # 39
    Member
    1555 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think the closest we would have gone is to have immediate family and a couple friends ONLY. But we wouldn’t want to forge our marriage without the support and witness of our family, which is the most important part of having a wedding, in my opinion.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1166 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I would have loved to have eloped (or to elope, I suppose there’s still time but I seriously doubt we will) but Fiance wants the big party.  It’s his day too, so why not?  If we needed to of course we would elope, getting married is the most important thing, but since we can have the big party why not have it?? 

    Post # 41
    Member
    1228 posts
    Bumble bee

    @ladyamalthea: I might have to do a spinoff thread! Just because you know how much I love the crazy six month couple I might have mentioned once or ten dozen times…. Heh

     

    Post # 42
    Member
    3339 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    My DH and I both would never have eloped.  So no, I don’t agree with that statement.

    Post # 43
    Member
    6114 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    When we got engaged we first talked about OK do we elope somewhere awesome or include family?

    We tried to add the family but in the end they were not worth the hassle.  It was best to go on our own!

    Even with that said, I disagree with the statement not to marry someone who won’t elope.

    Post # 44
    Member
    1310 posts
    Bumble bee

    I voted yes for both of us, but the truth is I’d never do it because my mother would be SUPER upset.  We’re close, so I don’t want that!

    Post # 45
    Member
    6014 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    We both are so close to our families I wouldn’t marry someone pushing elopement.  I believe that a marriage is also the joining of two families.  I can’t imagine my family or his not being there for our day. 

    Post # 46
    Member
    4494 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    If it was really important for my DH to have his mom or parents there then I think its understandable not to want to elope. We had a small intimate wedding and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

    The topic ‘"If you want marriage, don't marry someone who won't elope."’ is closed to new replies.

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