(Closed) "If you want marriage, don't marry someone who won't elope."

posted 7 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: For you and your SO, is/was eloping ever an option?

    No, not for me

    No, not for my SO

    Maybe, for me

    Maybe, for my SO

    Yes, for me

    Yes, for my SO

  • Post # 47
    Member
    782 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @ladyamalthea:  

    My Fiance and I originally wanted to elope… And then we remembered that not only is he an only child, but the first grandchild born on his side. I’d feel bad taking that away from his parents and grandparents. As much as I wish we could even do just an intimate wedding, there would still be at least 30 people there (I am very close with my immediate family and I have an aunt and cousins that I really want there)… So we’re going to hopefully keep it around 50 people and do a Destination Wedding 🙂 

    Post # 48
    Member
    6262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    For us, marriage is about becoming part of each other’s families, and neither of us should have wanted to do it without being able to celebrate with them. Maybe we would elope if circumstances were different, but we would most likely have waited until a wedding was possible if it wasn’t when we decided we wanted to get married. There wasn’t a rush.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1218 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @ladyamalthea:  We were considering it early on, but changed our minds. I liked the idea of being married in front of our friends and family. Also, my aunt and uncle eloped and my grandmother STILL goes on about it (they’ve been married 30-something years). 

    Post # 50
    Member
    1632 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I was completely fine with eloping. My husband really wanted his family there.  We had a small (12 guests) wedding.  

    Post # 51
    Member
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I think this could be easily turned around into:

    Don’t marry someone who is pressuring you to elope.

    Why don’t they want you to have the support of your friends and family?  Sounds like a method some abusive people use to isolate their victims.

    Post # 52
    Member
    3051 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I can only guess at my SO’s answer, but she wouldn’t get married without her mom there. So I voted “No” for her, “Maybe” for me. I also don’t think I’d do it without my mom there. If anything we’d have a semi-planned “elopement”…there’s another word I’m sure but that’s what it would be.

    Post # 53
    Member
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @ladyamalthea:  

    I generally agree that the person should want to either elope or have a wedding close-dated. I personally don’t see how people who really want to get married can hold off for two years after the question is popped.

    I know the big romantic wedding is a once in a lifetime thing and a lot of ladies dream about it, but me and my husband just wanted to be married ASAP. We still waited five months though after being engaged.

    Post # 54
    Member
    794 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

    Honestly, I’d love to elope, so would he… BUT we have so many people excited for the day we get married that I just… can’t. I know I’d live to regret the experience also. 

    We’ll end up having a very budget wedding, but it’ll be so us and surrounded by loved ones. 

    Post # 54
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Having lost a number of older family members on both sides in the time we’ve been together, it’s important to both of us to share our day (when it comes) with those who remain…but, if for whatever reason our families couldn’t attend then yes, it would be an option as at the end of the day we want the marriage

    Post # 55
    Member
    3315 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    It depends on what you mean by eloping.  We had an intimate wedding (only a dozen guests), followed by a larger (60 people) at-home reception a few days later.  But that choice was in large part due to the fact we had to get married 8 hours from where we live, on a weekday.  (Same-sex marriage was not available locally at the time.)  While I’m sure NotFroofy would have married me even if I’d just wanted to elope, we both wanted to invite our friends to celebrate with us in some manner.

    Post # 56
    Member
    1113 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I wanted to elope. Honestly I think there is something very romantic about eloping. But my husband reminded me that the wedding wasn’t just for us. I’m my parents only daughter, and my husbands family honestly didnt think his sister would ever get married, so we were it for them, and we couldn’t deny that to them.

    We met hakf way and kept it very small, but the wedding was for them, and the marriage is for us. I’m ok with that at the end of the day 🙂

    Post # 57
    Member
    2966 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    When someone asked me if we had picked a date yet less than 24hrs after we got engaged, I longed to elope. 

    We would, but we are both quite close to our families, and both love a good party. So while it’s expensive and I am very sick of people asking about what I have planned when I have nothing done, we are having the big day. 

    Post # 58
    Member
    174 posts
    Blushing bee

    I love the idea of eloping because I find that these days, organizing a wedding has become more of a stressful event (all the preparation, the shopping, the booking, the tastings, the day of etc.) that I have seen cause much more feuding and fighting between families, and the soon to be spouses as well rather than focusing on the real important of marriage: love and commitment, and that should not be stressful. In that sense, I think eloping is great. Just husband and you, no stress. 

    Post # 59
    Member
    8435 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would’ve had no problems eloping, but I’m not very close to my family.  My husband wanted to have a traditional wedding, but his family is more close knit.

    Post # 60
    Member
    2490 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    All this sentence means to me is that the marriage is far more important than the wedding. It seems like way too many people are getting worked up about it and defending their wedding choices, which isn’t really necessary.

    My husband and I planned on eloping and at the last minute we decided to have a wedding close to home so that our family and close friends could celebrate with us.

    The topic ‘"If you want marriage, don't marry someone who won't elope."’ is closed to new replies.

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